Sunday 11 December 2016

Five Things we've learnt from the Premier League - Week Fifteen

Pep’s tactics finally unleash the Foxes of old
In truth, Leicester’s tactics were figured out about half way through last season. They got over the line thanks to the failings of others and to superb defensive resilience forged from the fires of the incredible feat they saw before them. You would have thought Pep Guardiola had watched any of the footage from that title run before rolling up at the King Power Stadium. If he did, he certainly didn’t relay that to his players. As it was, City set up with a high press, high line attacking side with possibly the slowest back three you are ever likely to find. They were three down before they’d even fashioned a shot themselves and the 4-2 scoreline flattered what was a display of such tactical ineptitude it beggared belief from a coach as highly regarded as Guardiola. City still have plenty of time to rally this season and prove their critics wrong, but right now they can at least lay claim to one enviable record. They are the only team in the history of English football to have nearly 80% possession in a match and concede 4 goals.

I just made that stat up. But I’d bet you the entire of John Stones £50m (not a typo) transfer fee it’s correct.

Chelsea need to be stopped.
This Chelsea run is now bordering on the ridiculous. They were supposed to struggle against Spurs and City, they beat both with ease. Even when they play poorly, like they did this Sunday, they keep clean sheets and have a striker so on form he is winning games on his own almost each and every week. Costa was fed on scraps against a well marshaled West Brom side, and was finally forced to take matters into his own hands to get the job done. His goal was a microcosm of his season in a nutshell and worth noting once again, quite what a shadow of this player he was for much of the last. Conte and his players have thrown down the gauntlet to the the teams behind them and after 15 games only Arsenal have bothered to rise to it.

Only Arsenal emerging as a challenge in a title race? That is quite literally the definition of ffs.

Palace can’t keep defending like this
Only Liverpool fans have seen more goals go in than Palace this season. Their 15 matches have produced some 56 goals. Just to put that into comparison, Middlesborough fans have seen 29 for the same number of points. Palace have scored more than any team outside of the top four but their chronic inability to defend has meant they have thrown away points time and time again. This was the case against Hull on Saturday when once again 3 points flew past them with the same grace that Robert Snodgrass flew himself to the floor to win (Citation: steal) a penalty. Palace couldn’t blame that act of theft on their draw though, much as Pardew tried to. They are an absolute shambles of a side defensively but if you’re going to be that, kudos for being entertaining at the other end to boot. Palace have too much fire power to go down, but they seem hell bent on giving their fans several heart attacks on route to safety this season.

Super Saturday gave way to 1-0 Sunday
29 goals flew in during the six fixtures on Saturday in an almost collective fuck you to the morosely dull predictions of Mark Lawrenson. One clean sheet was pretty much par for the course in a season that just won’t do dull. It was a shame then, that that made way for three pretty uneventful 1-0 wins on Sunday before, you guessed it, Liverpool turned up to change all that. Conceding two goals to West Ham right is bad enough, but only scoring two against them is just downright awful. Pool have come unstuck a little since the injury to their talismanic Brazilian. The problems appear to be as much positional as personnel however. Origi has played up front in the last two matches and whilst he has down nothing wrong in that role, scoring two goals to boot, it denies Klopp’s team of having Firmino to dictate their high press. Liverpool are half the team without the pressing and passing axis of Firmino, Coutinho and Lallana and right now, their squad just doesn’t look deep enough to sustain a title challenge with injuries too often curtailing that trinity.

Why do Bournemouth defenders keep scoring?
I don’t have the answer to this. I’m genuinely asking. Bournemouth’s defenders have been involved in more goals this season than their midfield. What are they doing down there on the South Coast? Is is some sort of progressive new wave of football that bypasses the midfield and makes the back four do the work of every other aspect in the team? Seriously without their defenders Bournemouth would be bottom.

That sounded less obvious in my head.

Answers on a postcard please.


Team of the Weak:

Bravo - the worst signing of the season to date. Has yet to make a single save that has won a point for City. Has made several errors that have lost them.
Dann - he might be a goal machine Palace fans, but if can’t defend what fucking good is that.
Elmohamady - does anyone remember when he was good? Like really good for a time? Pretty sure we all dreamt that.
Ndong - so many puns...
Stones - can I just put 11 defenders in this week? Or just one £50m one? Okay I’ll stop now.
Alli - not booked for as cynical an attempt to injure a player as you’ll likely to see. He’s just, you know, not a very nice player is he.
Pogba - will be in here every week until he dictates a match befitting a player of his status, apparent ability and ludicrous price tag.
Firmino - not involved and doesn’t look hungry enough wide on the left, Klopp has to get him back integrated into the spine of his side.
Snodgrass - cheats, form an orderly queue, you will be named and shamed here every week for the plague on the game that you are.
Long - he must be due one of those two or three games runs when everyone thinks he’s amazing again soon...
Kane - if you looked up anonymous in a dictionary, you wouldn’t see Harry Kane.

Goodnight


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