The Big Issue - Everton. The defence rests.
For the third successive week Everton were involved in the highest scoring match of the day. A preposterous 6-3 defeat to Chelsea took their total match day haul to 17 goals since the season began, and has thus far earned them the unlikely status as this years great entertainers. The problem for Everton fans though, will be that 10 of those goals have been shipped into their own net. Everton have never looked better going forward in the Premier League era than they do right now. The creative talents of Miralles, Pienaar, Barkley, Lukaku, Osman and the criminally underrated Naysmith all swarm with waspish intent no matter which quartet are picked each week to find holes in the oppositions defence. Seven goals in three games is just reward for such talent, but goals matter for little when you’re letting them in by the bucket loads behind you.
Few teams have had more stable back lines over the past five years than Everton. Martinez did little to change the rear guard which David Moyes built and instead set his sights on improving Everton higher up the pitch (as well as introducing a passing game). But that back line is now showing serious signs of age. Sylvain Distin has been one of the biggest unsung hero’s of the premier league era, but he is turning 37 in December and quite simply cannot go on forever. Alongside him both Phil Jagielka and Leighton Baines appear to have arrived back home with a World Cup hangover. At 29 and 32 both have probably already peaked and it is worrying that they have yet to get into their stride. Coleman, offensively, remains the best right back in the league alongside the towering colossus that is Branislav Ivanovic. But he remains callow when being attacked and was guilty of several errors during a defeat that laid the foundations of the team bare for all to see. Behind the back four, Tim Howard remains a solid, if occasionally enigmatic presence. The big American has rarely been more than 10 games away from a howler, and was lucky not to be sent off on Saturday. Twice.
It was certainly hard to see this coming when Everton were 2-0 up with barely ten minutes left to Arsenal last week. But since then they have shipped 8 goals in less than two hours and now have two must win games on the horizon before the annual battering at Anfield. With two days left of the transfer window it is unlikely that Everton will look to strengthen. They have the talented John Stones in reserve and the case for him to start now looks stronger than ever. Beyond that though, they are very thin. Tony Hibbert remains on the books and so, apparently, does Antolin Alcaraz. The Paraguayan player recently likened his career at Everton to “being in prison,” which hardly bodes well for his reintroduction (there is a massive, massive pun in here somewhere which I’m too tired to make).
The big issue of course, is whether or not this decline is terminal. The season remains young and Everton have hardly had an easy start. But if they are to get anywhere near the heights they achieved last year, they will need to correct the problems at the back urgently. Any more of this and even Lawro might predict more than 1 goal.
Alternative Game of the Weekend:
Newcastle 3 Palace 3. An absolute belter. Neil Warnock, the Premier League welcomes you back to its hallowed shores.
Manager of the Weekend:
Brendan Rodgers. People are quick to jump on Liverpool’s defensive frailties as a sign of weakness in Rodgers. Whilst that might be true, he remains a shrewd tactician and consistently tore teams to shreds last season by working out what system would cause them the most trouble. He could certainly do with some Jose re-training at the back, but he proved again today that, as an attacking coach, he is arguably the finest in the league.
Person most likely to be put in Garth Crooks team of the week for no fathomable reason:
Any of the defenders who scored in the St James Park goalfest. Utterly shirking their main job to pop up at the other end and do what literally any Newcastle striker is unable to do.
Actual player of the Weekend:
Gylfi Sigurdsson. Deemed not good enough to be given a chance as chief string puller for Spurs, the Icelandic international has been in scintillating form since returning to the Welsh coast. His display at the weekend was like Beethoven in his prime. Or, you know, whoever conducts Beethoven in his prime.
Ok so I was well out of my depth with that analogy.
Fantasy Football disaster of the Weekend:
Loading your attack with Man City players, captaining Aguero and laughing as Manchester United failed at lunchtime...
Journalistic Quote of the Weekend:
“City are trying to find a way to sign the £55m Falcao whilst sticking to Financial Fair Play...”
Manager Quote of the Weekend:
Jose Mourinho - “I spent 90 minutes with my defence drilling them for this game. I should have stayed home with my wife.”
What you may have missed:
A feast of attacking football from Manchester United’s £150m frontline. A feast of attacking football from Manchester City’s £150m frontline. Nathan Dyer being the best English winger never to receive even a token call up. Saints finally shaking off their summer blues. Aston Villa being 3rd in the table. Javier Hernandez not being deemed good enough for Man Utd, but moving to second tier team Real Madrid instead. Yaya Sanogo giving a performance that would have made Carlton Cole blush. Another human being possessing the same first name as Yaya Toure. Ryan Bird being top of my Fantasy Football League and finally, Gary Linker’s absolutely fucking god awful to hell and back facial hair on Match of the Day.
Which was still better than Phil Neville.
https://twitter.com/HinduMonkey
Sunday 31 August 2014
Sunday 24 August 2014
Week Two - The Key Issues
The Big Issue - It’s not the players Arsene, it’s you.
And, well, the players. But we’ll come to that. Everton were once again involved in the game of the weekend, by virtue of goals, entertainment and drama if not actual quality. And whilst I’ll no doubt cover the poetic grace of Seamus Coleman, twinkling feet of Kevin Miralles and lumbering blind alley running of Romelu Lukaku at a later date... for now I’d like to focus on Arsenal.
Each and every year Wenger proudly boasts that this time his squad is capable of challenging for the title... and each and every year they come up short. This season, he added the star quality of Alexis Sanchez to his merry band of midfield maestros, upgraded from the French reserve right back to the actual French right back and snaffled upcoming star Calum Chambers from the much pillaged Southampton Youth Academy. The problem, is that none of that matters when Wenger has about as much tactical flexibility as a bunch of Sunday leaguers who still play 4-4-2 because “that’s the English way.” It’s all very well saying that Sanchez can play through the middle, but that is completely pointless if he’s going to play as a ball retaining number 9 aka Olivier Giroud. He is not that player and never well be, regardless of whether or not he’s fully fit. Wenger wants to have his cake and eat it by trying to emulate the Barca midfield template, whilst also having a big man up top to pump it long to. The second tactic might make more sense if Wenger had the striker resource of Manchester City (or even Manchester United) but he doesn’t. He has Giroud, followed by nobody else of proven quality and has thus far steadfast refused to purchase a new striker. Despite it being obvious to everyone in the entire solar system that he needs one.
Wenger could easily put out a team of Ramsey, Ozil, Cazorla, Walcot/Ox and Sanchez with Flamini sitting. The 5 midfielders, all well capable of playing quick, interlinking passing football, could rotate fluidly like the great Spain did prior to this World Cup. Ramsey has developed into a superb box to box midfielder and could burst from deep to enjoy the space created by a false 9. But the system doesn’t work when he sticks rigidly to a 4-3-3 which provides no cover for his fullbacks, no main focal point (if Giroud doesn’t play) and doesn’t allow the creative talents of Ozil and Cazorla to roam. It was no surprise then, that following Giroud’s arrival Arsenal looked a lot more dangerous. Scraping a draw they barely deserved and returning back home with a share of the spoils. This was a really poor game though, with a staggering 38 misplaced passes in the first half alone, and it smacked of two teams still hung over from the World Cup.
Arsenal will not win the title this year, or indeed any major trophy until Wenger allows some tactical flexibility within his ranks. Each and every week you see teams change the system as well as the players if things aren’t working. Wenger never, ever does. If things aren’t going well, all he will ever do is make like for like replacements until the final and inevitable whistle comes. Arsenal got out of jail this weekend. But with bigger and more vital tests to come over the course of the year, you sense they won’t get that lucky again unless they can either do something different, or actually buy a proper, world class centre forward.
And seriously what is with that kit? If it was any tighter it would be a wet suit. I’m pretty sure Sanchez couldn’t breathe...
Alternative Game of the Weekend:
Aston Villa v Newcastle. Two teams at the absolute pinnacle of their defensive power. Alan Hutton, Phillippe Senderos, Paul Dummett. A treat for paint dry watchers everywhere.
Potential Signing of the Weekend:
Angel Di Maria. Rumoured to be costing Manchester United a preposterous £63m, there are two things to remember here. One, is that United have been found to be wanting, with their pants down and desperate to pay over the odds for any top player on offer. Second, Di Maria is a top, top player. And no fee should detract from that fact. A player who was the best on the pitch in the Champions League final and voted the player of the season for Real last time around. The Argentinian will instantly be the finest player on the park when he meets his new team mates, and that is just about the only thing that matters.
Potential Gamble of the Weekend:
Mario Balotelli. £16m, certainly when compared to the above, appears to be an absolute steal for a player who is proven class. But aside from the fact that Liverpool appear to be collecting the World’s best penalty takers, this signing effectively amounts to taking £16m to Vegas and placing it all on black.
That is not a racist joke. Please don’t report me.
Although I could probably have used a better analogy.
Player most likely to be put in Garth Crooks team of the week for no fathomable reason:
Tom Huddlestone. Coasted through against the superior numbers of Stoke with a glazed “I can’t believe they’re playing this badly” look in his eye. Teed up the goal, casually stroked a few passes around with wand of right foot. Once broke into a run.
Actual Player of the Weekend:
Erik Lamela. Who? Exactly. Remember the name...
Quote of the Weekend:
Harry Redknapp on Malky Mackay “he’s not a murderer, a rapist or paedophile... he’s a great lad. He’s just made a mistake. People make mistakes in life and he shouldn’t be hung for that”
Harry, let me break it down to you nice and clear. It’s not about making a “mistake” here. A mistake is when you fall over and break something. A mistake is people who don’t know the difference between your and you’re. A mistake is playing Tom Cleverley in a football match. A mistake is not “being a racist”. That’s called, being a fucking racist.
Fantasy Football Disaster of the Weekend:
Having James Chester on your bench in Week One. And having him as your captain in Week Two.
Unexpected Goal Feast of the Weekend:
Crystal Palace 1, West Ham 3. Seriously? Who saw that one coming? Certainly not Big Sam. I mean, even Carlton Cole scored!? I know. Carlton. Cole.
This guy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4laIHVZtBKE
Move of the Weekend:
Nacer Chadli’s second goal in Spurs 4-0 victory was preceded by a staggering 48 consecutive passes. 48!? Stop it lads.
What you may have missed:
Aston Villa not getting a shot on target. Everton & Arsenal scoring 4 goals from just 5 shots on target. Southampton and West Brom doing all they could to beat Villa & Newcastle to the final MOTD slot. Charlie Austin not even being in the match day squad for QPR’s hammering. Rio Ferdinand wishing he hadn’t been in the match day squad for QPR’s hammering. Barcelona coasting to an easy win with 10 men (for a laugh) in their first La Liga match. Tom Cleverley apparently finding a team mate with a pass. Leighton Baines growing his hair out. Mauricio Pochettino taking a lot less time than Louis Van Gaal to install a new way of playing. And finally, Derby County battering Fulham to make it four losses on the spin for the seemingly doomed Cottagers.
https://twitter.com/HinduMonkey
And, well, the players. But we’ll come to that. Everton were once again involved in the game of the weekend, by virtue of goals, entertainment and drama if not actual quality. And whilst I’ll no doubt cover the poetic grace of Seamus Coleman, twinkling feet of Kevin Miralles and lumbering blind alley running of Romelu Lukaku at a later date... for now I’d like to focus on Arsenal.
Each and every year Wenger proudly boasts that this time his squad is capable of challenging for the title... and each and every year they come up short. This season, he added the star quality of Alexis Sanchez to his merry band of midfield maestros, upgraded from the French reserve right back to the actual French right back and snaffled upcoming star Calum Chambers from the much pillaged Southampton Youth Academy. The problem, is that none of that matters when Wenger has about as much tactical flexibility as a bunch of Sunday leaguers who still play 4-4-2 because “that’s the English way.” It’s all very well saying that Sanchez can play through the middle, but that is completely pointless if he’s going to play as a ball retaining number 9 aka Olivier Giroud. He is not that player and never well be, regardless of whether or not he’s fully fit. Wenger wants to have his cake and eat it by trying to emulate the Barca midfield template, whilst also having a big man up top to pump it long to. The second tactic might make more sense if Wenger had the striker resource of Manchester City (or even Manchester United) but he doesn’t. He has Giroud, followed by nobody else of proven quality and has thus far steadfast refused to purchase a new striker. Despite it being obvious to everyone in the entire solar system that he needs one.
Wenger could easily put out a team of Ramsey, Ozil, Cazorla, Walcot/Ox and Sanchez with Flamini sitting. The 5 midfielders, all well capable of playing quick, interlinking passing football, could rotate fluidly like the great Spain did prior to this World Cup. Ramsey has developed into a superb box to box midfielder and could burst from deep to enjoy the space created by a false 9. But the system doesn’t work when he sticks rigidly to a 4-3-3 which provides no cover for his fullbacks, no main focal point (if Giroud doesn’t play) and doesn’t allow the creative talents of Ozil and Cazorla to roam. It was no surprise then, that following Giroud’s arrival Arsenal looked a lot more dangerous. Scraping a draw they barely deserved and returning back home with a share of the spoils. This was a really poor game though, with a staggering 38 misplaced passes in the first half alone, and it smacked of two teams still hung over from the World Cup.
Arsenal will not win the title this year, or indeed any major trophy until Wenger allows some tactical flexibility within his ranks. Each and every week you see teams change the system as well as the players if things aren’t working. Wenger never, ever does. If things aren’t going well, all he will ever do is make like for like replacements until the final and inevitable whistle comes. Arsenal got out of jail this weekend. But with bigger and more vital tests to come over the course of the year, you sense they won’t get that lucky again unless they can either do something different, or actually buy a proper, world class centre forward.
And seriously what is with that kit? If it was any tighter it would be a wet suit. I’m pretty sure Sanchez couldn’t breathe...
Alternative Game of the Weekend:
Aston Villa v Newcastle. Two teams at the absolute pinnacle of their defensive power. Alan Hutton, Phillippe Senderos, Paul Dummett. A treat for paint dry watchers everywhere.
Potential Signing of the Weekend:
Angel Di Maria. Rumoured to be costing Manchester United a preposterous £63m, there are two things to remember here. One, is that United have been found to be wanting, with their pants down and desperate to pay over the odds for any top player on offer. Second, Di Maria is a top, top player. And no fee should detract from that fact. A player who was the best on the pitch in the Champions League final and voted the player of the season for Real last time around. The Argentinian will instantly be the finest player on the park when he meets his new team mates, and that is just about the only thing that matters.
Potential Gamble of the Weekend:
Mario Balotelli. £16m, certainly when compared to the above, appears to be an absolute steal for a player who is proven class. But aside from the fact that Liverpool appear to be collecting the World’s best penalty takers, this signing effectively amounts to taking £16m to Vegas and placing it all on black.
That is not a racist joke. Please don’t report me.
Although I could probably have used a better analogy.
Player most likely to be put in Garth Crooks team of the week for no fathomable reason:
Tom Huddlestone. Coasted through against the superior numbers of Stoke with a glazed “I can’t believe they’re playing this badly” look in his eye. Teed up the goal, casually stroked a few passes around with wand of right foot. Once broke into a run.
Actual Player of the Weekend:
Erik Lamela. Who? Exactly. Remember the name...
Quote of the Weekend:
Harry Redknapp on Malky Mackay “he’s not a murderer, a rapist or paedophile... he’s a great lad. He’s just made a mistake. People make mistakes in life and he shouldn’t be hung for that”
Harry, let me break it down to you nice and clear. It’s not about making a “mistake” here. A mistake is when you fall over and break something. A mistake is people who don’t know the difference between your and you’re. A mistake is playing Tom Cleverley in a football match. A mistake is not “being a racist”. That’s called, being a fucking racist.
Fantasy Football Disaster of the Weekend:
Having James Chester on your bench in Week One. And having him as your captain in Week Two.
Unexpected Goal Feast of the Weekend:
Crystal Palace 1, West Ham 3. Seriously? Who saw that one coming? Certainly not Big Sam. I mean, even Carlton Cole scored!? I know. Carlton. Cole.
This guy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4laIHVZtBKE
Move of the Weekend:
Nacer Chadli’s second goal in Spurs 4-0 victory was preceded by a staggering 48 consecutive passes. 48!? Stop it lads.
What you may have missed:
Aston Villa not getting a shot on target. Everton & Arsenal scoring 4 goals from just 5 shots on target. Southampton and West Brom doing all they could to beat Villa & Newcastle to the final MOTD slot. Charlie Austin not even being in the match day squad for QPR’s hammering. Rio Ferdinand wishing he hadn’t been in the match day squad for QPR’s hammering. Barcelona coasting to an easy win with 10 men (for a laugh) in their first La Liga match. Tom Cleverley apparently finding a team mate with a pass. Leighton Baines growing his hair out. Mauricio Pochettino taking a lot less time than Louis Van Gaal to install a new way of playing. And finally, Derby County battering Fulham to make it four losses on the spin for the seemingly doomed Cottagers.
https://twitter.com/HinduMonkey
Sunday 17 August 2014
Week One - The Key Issues
The Premier League burst back into life this weekend with goals, shocks, red cards, terrible penalty decisions, even more terrible actual penalties and more drama than a night out in the Bigg Market. After inventing, curating and perfecting the 5 things modus operandi (Citation: only one of those is true) - it feels time for a change. This season I will be focussing on one big issue each week, supplemented with more humorous and irreverent littler ones, that hopefully the Podcasts, Fan Forums, Journos & Pundits may have missed. And what Alan Shearer definitely will have.
So here we go:
The Big Issue - Louis van Gaal is balls deep
New season, same old shite is, to put it bluntly, the thin end of the wedge. Van Gaal is many things, but he’s not an idiot. And whilst he arrived with an honourable but flawed notion that he had to “assess the squad for himself” before making any changes; he also wasted little time telling the press from day one that this was a much harder job than it looked. The squad was “broken” he said, after a series of performances last season that the players appeared to have forgotten they were responsible for. He would need “at least two seasons” before he could be truly judged and that it would take at least “three months” for the players to fully understand his methods. He will, barring an unmitigated disaster, almost certainly get more time than Moyes despite the car crash that was Saturday lunchtime. Crucially, LVG looks and acts like a man in charge of, in terms of supporters and finance, one of the biggest clubs in the World. Moyes never did, and it was his off the field persona that actually got him sacked far more quickly than results on it. The board will give LVG time to instill his methods and clear out the dead weight from a squad that Ferguson wrung every last drop from before retiring. But dear god... what a lot of dead weight it is.
Of the team that started on Saturday a full 8 wouldn’t expect to get anywhere near the first eleven of the teams that finished in the top 5 last year. Mata, De Gea and Rooney would have a chance, but even they would not feature in a premier league best eleven. Or even a second one. Typing this with the class of 92 DVD on my table, it is a sorry state of affairs for a team that regularly provided half of the entrants into almost every team of the season. After just 45 minutes of competitive football LVG abandoned the 3-5-2 formation he’d spent all preseason trialling and resorted to a 4-4-2 with Nani on the pitch. With ten minutes left he was playing Marouane Fellaini up front. This was hardly the tactical masterclass that we had seen in the World Cup and afterwards the Dutchman was brutally honest in his assessment of the teams ability and performance. He at least accepted responsibility for his failed tactics, which was the single aspect of the whole affair that stood him out from Moyes.
United need 3-5 new players to challenge for the top 4, even without the distraction of Europe. Two new centre backs, at least one specialist wing back, another forward as cover and a defensive midfielder are an absolute must. As is getting rid of almost 50% of the squad that failed so badly last time around. Nani cannot be allowed to step on the pitch of Old Trafford again. People are laughing at the club. And not just his agent.
The fixture generator could not have been kinder to Van Gaal and trips to Burnley and Sunderland should not be looked upon with fear just yet. But these are worrying times for United fans and a stark reminder yet again that no club has a right to win football matches. They have to be earned through a mixture of ability and application. Ultimately, Swansea City showed Van Gaal exactly what was missing from his current squad. That the Welsh party poopers are probably only the 10th best team in the league, was the most worrying thing of all.
Game of the Weekend:
Leicester 2, Everton 2. A pulsating return to the top flight for the Foxes full of fantastic finishing, end to end drama and typical controversy. If this is what Leicester will treat us to each week, they’re welcome for a lot longer than West Ham.
Referee of the Weekend:
Chris Foy. West Ham v Spurs. Look, the man did everything he good to try and make this game more interesting. And I commend him for that.
Player most likely to be put in Garth Crooks team of the week for no fathomable reason:
Laurent Koscielny. Was at fault for the opening goal, fell over twice, looked generally unconvincing but was in the right place, at the right time to score an equaliser. By essentially falling over.
Actual player of the weekend:
Curtis Davies. Pub player turned pro, Hull’s captain and perfecter of the 3-5-2 system that Louis Van Gaal is trying to copy. Also better than any of Man United’s current centre backs.
Quote of the weekend:
Jonathan Pearce, commentating on the Arsenal v Palace game when Hangeland scored. “the person who would have enjoyed that most is sat at home, his name, TONY PULIS!”
Really Jonathan? Really?
Supportive Tweet of the Weekend:
Tony Fernandes (Chairman of QPR) - “19 chances. Need to covert them but we created them. Few more signings...”
Nothing like subtly telling your strikers to collect their P45’s eh Tony.
Fantasy Football Disaster of the Weekend:
Having Noble and Austin in your team “because they don’t miss penalties.”
What you may have missed:
Arsenal not signing a striker. West Ham buying 38 strikers and not knowing what to do with them. Jordan Henderson’s delicious through ball for Liverpool’s opener. The entirety of the Scottish Premier League. England absolutely battering India in the Cricket and Bear Flat retaining the Jon Darcy Memorial Dominator Trophy. More silverware than a night out in New Mexico that lot...
Until next week.
So here we go:
The Big Issue - Louis van Gaal is balls deep
New season, same old shite is, to put it bluntly, the thin end of the wedge. Van Gaal is many things, but he’s not an idiot. And whilst he arrived with an honourable but flawed notion that he had to “assess the squad for himself” before making any changes; he also wasted little time telling the press from day one that this was a much harder job than it looked. The squad was “broken” he said, after a series of performances last season that the players appeared to have forgotten they were responsible for. He would need “at least two seasons” before he could be truly judged and that it would take at least “three months” for the players to fully understand his methods. He will, barring an unmitigated disaster, almost certainly get more time than Moyes despite the car crash that was Saturday lunchtime. Crucially, LVG looks and acts like a man in charge of, in terms of supporters and finance, one of the biggest clubs in the World. Moyes never did, and it was his off the field persona that actually got him sacked far more quickly than results on it. The board will give LVG time to instill his methods and clear out the dead weight from a squad that Ferguson wrung every last drop from before retiring. But dear god... what a lot of dead weight it is.
Of the team that started on Saturday a full 8 wouldn’t expect to get anywhere near the first eleven of the teams that finished in the top 5 last year. Mata, De Gea and Rooney would have a chance, but even they would not feature in a premier league best eleven. Or even a second one. Typing this with the class of 92 DVD on my table, it is a sorry state of affairs for a team that regularly provided half of the entrants into almost every team of the season. After just 45 minutes of competitive football LVG abandoned the 3-5-2 formation he’d spent all preseason trialling and resorted to a 4-4-2 with Nani on the pitch. With ten minutes left he was playing Marouane Fellaini up front. This was hardly the tactical masterclass that we had seen in the World Cup and afterwards the Dutchman was brutally honest in his assessment of the teams ability and performance. He at least accepted responsibility for his failed tactics, which was the single aspect of the whole affair that stood him out from Moyes.
United need 3-5 new players to challenge for the top 4, even without the distraction of Europe. Two new centre backs, at least one specialist wing back, another forward as cover and a defensive midfielder are an absolute must. As is getting rid of almost 50% of the squad that failed so badly last time around. Nani cannot be allowed to step on the pitch of Old Trafford again. People are laughing at the club. And not just his agent.
The fixture generator could not have been kinder to Van Gaal and trips to Burnley and Sunderland should not be looked upon with fear just yet. But these are worrying times for United fans and a stark reminder yet again that no club has a right to win football matches. They have to be earned through a mixture of ability and application. Ultimately, Swansea City showed Van Gaal exactly what was missing from his current squad. That the Welsh party poopers are probably only the 10th best team in the league, was the most worrying thing of all.
Game of the Weekend:
Leicester 2, Everton 2. A pulsating return to the top flight for the Foxes full of fantastic finishing, end to end drama and typical controversy. If this is what Leicester will treat us to each week, they’re welcome for a lot longer than West Ham.
Referee of the Weekend:
Chris Foy. West Ham v Spurs. Look, the man did everything he good to try and make this game more interesting. And I commend him for that.
Player most likely to be put in Garth Crooks team of the week for no fathomable reason:
Laurent Koscielny. Was at fault for the opening goal, fell over twice, looked generally unconvincing but was in the right place, at the right time to score an equaliser. By essentially falling over.
Actual player of the weekend:
Curtis Davies. Pub player turned pro, Hull’s captain and perfecter of the 3-5-2 system that Louis Van Gaal is trying to copy. Also better than any of Man United’s current centre backs.
Quote of the weekend:
Jonathan Pearce, commentating on the Arsenal v Palace game when Hangeland scored. “the person who would have enjoyed that most is sat at home, his name, TONY PULIS!”
Really Jonathan? Really?
Supportive Tweet of the Weekend:
Tony Fernandes (Chairman of QPR) - “19 chances. Need to covert them but we created them. Few more signings...”
Nothing like subtly telling your strikers to collect their P45’s eh Tony.
Fantasy Football Disaster of the Weekend:
Having Noble and Austin in your team “because they don’t miss penalties.”
What you may have missed:
Arsenal not signing a striker. West Ham buying 38 strikers and not knowing what to do with them. Jordan Henderson’s delicious through ball for Liverpool’s opener. The entirety of the Scottish Premier League. England absolutely battering India in the Cricket and Bear Flat retaining the Jon Darcy Memorial Dominator Trophy. More silverware than a night out in New Mexico that lot...
Until next week.
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