Sunday 25 August 2013

Five Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Two

1. The Transfer window needs to close before the first game
Much has been written about the transfer window this summer, possibly born more than ever from the frustrating and now epically boring sagas revolving around the likes of Bale, Rooney, Suarez and any Real Madrid player. One thing however has emerged as clear as the purest crystal… the transfer window is a terrible idea and the most terrible thing about it is that it shuts a full three weeks after the season starts. Who exactly does this system benefit other than agents? Do players really benefit from not being played because their head isn’t in the right place? (Bale) Or from refusing to play because their head has been turned? (Cabaye) Do clubs or fans benefit from not knowing who the true make up of their squad is prior to starting a campaign? Do bookmakers or gamblers benefit from having to make start of season punts based on lies and hearsay? Take Man Utd for example; right now I make them 3rd favourites to win the title. If they sell Rooney and buy nobody they’ll slip further away. But buy Ronaldo and Modric and keep Rooney and suddenly they look favourites again (p.s. this won’t happen… just an example… a fan can dream). The most damning thing about the transfer window, in particular the last few weeks once the season has kicked off, is that it has become stale. It was supposed to make things more exciting and over time has done the complete opposite. We just want to watch the football now please, not listen to managers be asked zero questions about the game and twenty questions about who they’re going to buy/sell in the coming days.

2. Is Lucas Leiva the most underrated player in the league?
A line that has been trotted out around 30 times over the last week is that Liverpool are unbeaten since Luis Suarez got suspended. It is a statement that almost defines the type of lazy journalism and punditry we now have to endure week in week out. Whilst true, it takes into account no other outlying factors and works on the assumption that Liverpool are seemingly a better team without Suarez. Which is absurd. No, a key factor for Liverpool’s form since last Easter has been the re-emergence and return to form of Lucas Leiva. Unlike the Suarez suspension issue, it is not coincidence that Liverpool went on their worst run for some 40 years from the moment Lucas got injured at the start of King Kenny’s last season… right up to his return midway through the current reign of Brendan Rodgers. Leiva is criminally underrated. Initially maligned when he joined, seemingly for not being Steven Gerrard, any Scouser worth his salts now recognises the importance of Lucas to Liverpool’s team. Sitting at the base of what has become a fluid 4-3-3; Lucas is a classic destroyer in the mould of Makelele. He does the simple things well and his reading the game has got better each year. Him staying injury free is the only way Liverpool have a punt at finishing in the top 4 this season. It doesn’t matter how good the players ahead of him are, Liverpool are twice as strong defensively and statistically concede 30% less goals when he plays (in the last 4 years). As Utd, Arsenal and Chelsea all look, flail or just keep buying number 10’s until the cows come home… the greatest compliment you can pay Lucas is that he would get in all three of those clubs first XI. 

3. Newcastle need a rethink
When you play at home, to a team managed by Big Sam and you’re even more boring than they are, you’ve got real problems. Newcastle v West Ham on Saturday was the sort of game that could put you off football for life. It was less interesting than the 4th days play at the Oval, which was entirely rained off. In West Ham’s defence they… well… that kinda of is their only defence really… their defence. But Newcastle? At home after just being thumped by Man City, with a transfer policy that makes Arsenal look busy, they simply had to make a statement. They didn’t have a single shot on target. Not one. At Home. To West Ham. A club who’ve just bought Stewart Downing. For no reason. Sadly for Newcastle, creatively this was bad as it gets. They treated their strikers as if they were invisible and don’t think for a moment that means I’m letting Papiss Cisse off the hook. The striker looked so bored I thought he was just going to sit down at one point. Newcastle are in real trouble, and not just because they employed Joe Kinnear for no logical reason whatsoever. Having recruited every C-list French player in the game, they need a couple of major and crucially English signings to instil a bit of steel back into the team again. How many captains have left Newcastle in the past decade alone? Five or six easy and Coloccini will almost certainly join them if this farce continues. The Geordies don’t have long to put things right and whilst I would never, ever advocate panic buying towards the end of a transfer window that should have shut a fortnight ago… for God’s sake lads panic buy the life out of this window. Go. Go now.

4. Are Spurs genuine title contenders?
No club has had more false starts than Spurs over the past decade. Despite always been kinda there for first the title, then the champions league spots, then the cups… each and every season has seen them fall away and end up with nothing (a token Carling Cup aside). Post Bale that surely looked like being the case again. But Spurs have spent and have spent big. Even with Willian moving to Chelsea (for no reason that I can fathom given they need him about as much as Arsenal need another lightweight, injury prone, occasionally creative midfielder) – Spurs have a solid looking squad which looks set to be added to further before September. But it’s not the numbers this time, after all Spurs have always had a predilection for buying midfielders; it’s the quality of the signings that stands out. After capturing the superb Dembele last year, not to mention Vertonghen, both Paulinho and Soldado walk tall as A-listers. Both have started the campaign well, with the latter already scoring more than Adeboyer did in 30 games last season. Spurs haven’t had the toughest start and it will be interesting to see how they get on at the Emirates for next week. For now though, given they appear capable of keeping clean sheets now as well as scoring goals, I’m happy to say with a degree of confidence that this is the year they may just get in amongst the big boys again.

5. Cardiff deserved to paint the town red
After the opening performances of both these clubs this result seemed about as likely as the second coming. City could have an off day sure, but could Cardiff really score a couple of goals to nick it? No chance. Indeed, following Dzeko’s blistering opening strike the odds on Cardiff winning at all were 40/1. The Welsh team winning 3-2 was well over 100. This, of course, is the Premier League. And whilst the cream rises to the top over a whole season each and every game weeks tends to throw up at least one result that nobody saw coming. This was exactly the sort of match that City struggled in last year, ultimately costing them the title and their manager his job. To see a further £100m ploughed into the team and watch them toil again away to a relegation candidate will surely not sit well with the clubs hierarchy. Joe Hart looks increasingly unstable at the back and whilst excuses can be made with the injuries to the centre backs, the refusal to replace Gael Clichy with anyone who can actually defend appears strange. Toure was as bad as I’ve ever seen him and only Silva and Dseko can walk away with any credit from a front line that failed to spark all afternoon. For Cardiff though, this was an exceptional performance full of determination but also imagination. The front three caused problems all game and as the space opened up in the second half they cut loose several times. They may have changed their kit colour, but the fans won’t mind painting the town red after this effort. After a week of pretty dreary stuff, this was the moment the league woke up from its summer slumber. Let’s hope it’s for good.

https://twitter.com/HinduMonkey

Monday 19 August 2013

Five Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week One

1. New season. Same old Emiratshites.
Oh Arsene. Why does it have to be this way? Having spent the last eight summers refusing to spend money, watching as “promising youngsters” failed to kick on and witnessing everyone from the likes of Swansea to Portsmouth actually win trophies, this was supposed to be the one where Arsenal got back with the big boys again. As it is, despite a £70-80m war-chest, the competitors all changing managers and their local rivals probably losing their best player to Real… Arsenal have signed one youth player. Oh Arsene. They have seen big names join other clubs, decide to stay put or just not been available; and their recent bid for Cabaye smacks of the same sort of desperation as the, all be it successful, one for Arteta two years ago. Arsenal don’t need Cabaye, they needed Higuain. With all that in mind then, it was essential that Arsenal started the season with a good result to get the fans back on side. Oh Arsene. The performance on Saturday was essentially the Wenger blueprint for the last 8 years. Toil up front despite bags of possession, lack any sort of steel in midfield, make calamitous defensives errors and watch as your team limply loses to a team they should be beating all day long. Wenger effectively received a vote of no confidence from the supporters trust today and now has two weeks to save his career. It really is that simple. Arsenal will not win a major trophy, let alone challenge for the title with this current squad and Wenger will not be given another year if they finish 5th. Oh Arsene. I admire your principals in a world filled with financial fair play ignorance I really do. But you’re not Shylock; you’re a manager of the single most profitable football club in the land. And if you mention Abou Diaby returning from injury one more time I will honestly be justified in calling for your head. Literally.

2. Long seasons looms for the promoted clubs.
The opening day fixture list wasn’t kind to the three clubs who’ve come up from the Championship, but a collective scoreline of 0-5 didn’t feel like a one off but more of a sign of things to come. Only Cardiff look equipped to defend their way to safety and none of them look capable of scoring anywhere near the 50 goals mark that you would expect they’d need to have a chance of survival. Granted they will have easier games than away to the two most parsimonious London clubs and home to AVB’s new look Spurs, but it’s hard to make a case for anyone to finish below them. Stoke, Sunderland and Norwich have all been mooted, but in reality it would be a major implosion for any of them to tumble at the expense of Cardiff, Palace or Hull. Although given Mark Hughes and Paulo Di Canio manage two of them… there is at least a chance.

3. Same old Jozzzzzze.
And so the “Happy One” returns. Name sung to the rafters. Players unanimous in their praise. The press lining up to perform fellatio. And a typical Mourinho performance. Great for half an hour, full of pace, power, wonderfully inventive play and inverted wingers. We saw Hazard tracking back. We saw Torres actually hold the ball up. We saw Frank Lampard being Frank Lampard. We saw Oscar looking… well quite brilliant. And then, inevitably, we saw the game played out at walking pace once it had been won. Jose talked about fatigue and in fairness it is week one, but if his front four were so tired we didn’t he make substitutions earlier? Could he not have brought Schurrle and Lukaku on at half time and gone for the jugular? After all, by his own admission the game was over as soon as the second goal went in. Time will tell whether Jose can bring the flair that was eventually his undoing first time around. For now, we were left to endure what is likely to follow for the next ten months… that of a functional, unstoppable and occasionally brilliant Chelsea march to the title. Next Monday will give us more of an indication, especially following Utd’s emphatic opening win. But for me the smart money remains on Jose to recapture his crown. And it won’t be pretty. Except Oscar. Beautiful Oscar.

4. England can still produce good youngsters.
When a friend of mine told me a few months ago that Ross Barkley was as good as Jack Wilshire I laughed at him. He still has a long way to go to be considered on that level, but he certainly made that claim look a lot less laughable on Saturday. Barkley was the man of the match in a pulsating game at Carrow Road that made a mockery of pre-season fitness claims. At just 19, Barkley stands to prosper from the appointment of a manager who will trust talented, ball playing youngsters much more than David “same team every week, regardless of form” Moyes ever did. Indeed, it wasn’t a bad weekend for young English players all round thanks to another solid performance from the continually underrated Tom Cleverly, a fantastic showing from Luke Shaw and the improved “now with end product” Danny Welbeck. For all the talk about the England national team there remains youngsters coming through and the main problem is them getting regular game time to prepare themselves adequately for the rigours of international football. Well, that and the fact we continue to pick the same fucking players no matter how many times they fail… and fail… and fail… and fail… again. I mean is there anyone in the Country who would rather see James Milner in the England side than Ross Barkley or Jack Wilshire. Anyone at all?

5. Will Wayne Rooney leave Man Utd?
Nobody cares Wayne… nobody… fucking cares. I’d honestly rather write about Joe Cole. With a wonderful finish and all round game that made me think it was 2008 not 2013, Cole was instrumental in West Ham starting the season with a bang. Plus much as it’s so very easy to dislike West Ham… it’s very, very hard to dislike Joe Cole. He just seems so genuine, which is a rare thing in football these days. Plus he has, like 100 songs written about him, some of which have been put together by people with way, way too much time on their hands… (check out the p diddy number)


Oh and yeah, I only put this title in place so Pete Wilkie wouldn’t read the entry.


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