Substitutes Mata.
After a largely uneventful first half in which Manchester United deservedly led through a sweeping, Juan Mata finished move, I’m not sure there was anyone out there who was prepared for the madness that was to come. As it was, this game was ultimately decided by those who stepped off the bench and left their mark. First and foremost, the mark into the leg of Ander Herrera from Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard. Gerrard has been sent off many times in his career, but never so quickly and as pointlessly as this. Playing in his final Liverpool match against United, Gerrard stepped onto the pitch with the attitude of the fan he truly is. He crashed into one tackle, crashed into a second and then reacted horribly and was deservedly shown his marching orders. What he failed to do was remember that he was also an actual player and the captain of his team. He also failed to apologise to the player he stamped on in a groveling apology to the people of his city, his manager, his fellow professional, his dog, his solicitor and John Terry. But let’s not kick a man when he’s down. That’s what Gerrard would do.
Moving on from that came Angel Di Maria, who perhaps aggrieved and amazed at the sight of Ashley Young playing instead of him delivered the pass of the match to set up the winning goal. He then proceeded to play absolutely toilet. Which thankfully didn’t Mata as much as the ball he played to Juan did. Almost as comical as all of that was the appearance of Mario Balotelli. Perhaps affronted by Gerrard stealing his limelight, Mario did everything he could to be sent off via a series of cynical tackles, late lunges and in one truly comical moment, being restrained by two actual fans from reacting to Chris Smalling.
Apart from the above, there was also a brilliant goal, a dramatic goal, clearances off the line, a missed penalty, at least two other clear red cards waved away and the constant sight of people paid an average of 100k a week each give the ball away again... and again... and again...
The fall out from the result means United now sit 5 points clear of the chasing pack in 4th and still well in the hunt for 2nd. Something that seemed inexplicable as little as a fortnight ago. Van Gaal finally seems to have found something that works at the business end of the season. It wasn’t a formation. It wasn’t a tactic. It wasn’t a philosophy.
It was called fucking playing Juan Mata.
Referees need help.
Perhaps the pace of the game really has changed that much in ten years. Perhaps the bringing in of goal line technology has turned our attentions elsewhere. Or perhaps the over analysed, social media instant replay world we now live in can make judgements on a referees call where they can’t. But even putting that aside, it seems that every week now there aren’t just errors or bad calls, but absolute stone wall howlers. None more so than within just a few minutes of kick off this weekend, when yet again the wrong player was sent off by a referee who looked like he genuinely had no idea what he was doing.
There is no credible reason as to why a referee cannot be miked up to a 5th official sitting in the stands with a monitor to give him a 30-60 seconds window to make a decision on a key moment. It doesn’t have to be as wooly as rugby “is there a reason why I can’t penalise the flanker who may have hit the opposition person before scoring the try which I disallowed anyway.” It could be based on two criteria and two alone. Is that a red card and if so to whom? And is that a penalty? Too often games are ruined by both of those decisions going the wrong way for the wrong team. Arguments about slowing the game down are nonsense. The ball is only in play 65% of the time over 90 minutes and we’re not doing anything about that. Arguments about undermining referees are hollow. Could they really be in a worse position than they are now? And ultimately the decision would still rest with them, they would just get the benefit of another person relying, factually, what occurred for them to make the call on.
Football cannot continue to look down upon other spots as the most popular in the game when it lags so far behind in key areas. It is badly lacking in progression and this is an obvious way to make the game better and fairer. Perhaps then we can have punditry shows which don’t spend 90% of the time discussing wrong decisions.
Giroud. Yes. Apparently this is real.
I am not a fan of Olivier Giroud. Mainly because he has the first touch of a donkey, the second touch of a mule and looks like he’s more interested in his hair than getting his boots dirty. After returning from injury he has been on fire and whilst a truly horrific hour against Monaco threatened to expose him for the sham that he is, he has rallied again following it. Giroud now has 13 league goals for the season at a rate of one every 96 minutes. To put that into perspective, Aguero has 17 at a rate of 107, Costa 19 at a rate of 101 and Kane 19 at a rate of 98.
So Giroud is the best striker in the league.
Apart from Cisse. Who has one every 92 minutes. But nobody cares about Newcastle.
Is there a harder manager to beat than Jose?
Chelsea are not going to win the league by being the best team anymore. Or even having the best players. They are going to win it be having the best mentality. It might not be pretty (it isn’t) and it might not be fair (rarely) but nobody is harder to beat than teams managed by Jose Mourinho. Chelsea were absolutely awful for large parts of their game against Hull but whereas lesser teams would have crumbled or retreated under the pressure, Chelsea just dug in, got on with it, and eventually won. They have lost just four times in almost 50 games this season, and three of those were utterly ridiculous matches and, tellingly, none were against their rivals or the bigger clubs. They even went out of Europe drawing both matches. Chelsea will add the league title to the league cup come May, it’s now just a matter of how much they let us believe they might not in the meantime.
More of the same doesn’t make for an easy blog.
I try to be original, it try to be informative, I even try to be amusing. But seriously, what more can be said about Southampton’s absurd defence? Of Harry Kane being brilliant again? Of QPR getting relegated? Of West Ham and Sunderland being boring? Of Aston Villa not scoring right after they’d convinced us all that was going to end?
Wait there was a Clasico on? Oh for fucks sake...
Team of the Weak
Vorm - Came on for injured Lloris. Conceded three goals. Still, at least he got a game after his big club move in the summer...
M. Dawson - The worst in a back three containing Paul McShane and Alex Bruce. I mean, come on.
C. Dawson - Should have been sent off. Wasn’t. And then watched his team concede a simply unbelievable 43 (forty three) shots.
Yun - Did Harry sign this guy? Can he actually tackle? Like, at all?
Upson - Seriously. Is anybody listening here?
Gerrard - You'll always have Istanbul Stevie. Just no league titles. Chin up.
N’Zogbia - Well Tactics Tim made him good for one game at least.
Allen - Does anybody know what Joe Allen does for Liverpool? Is he there just to make Jordan Henderson look really good?
Sterling - Utterly anonymous. Although playing left back for the last twenty minutes against the best player on the park whilst Mario strutted around up front probably told you the manager had lost it a little...
Defoe - Laughably bad.
Pelle - This was a good week for strikers all things considered. Pretty much everyone scored. Except Pelle. 1050 minutes now son...
What you may have missed
The funeral of the betrayed former King of England Richard III. And the rugby. Being so much better than the football even when the football was pretty damn brilliant.
Oh and El Classico. Barcelona won. Suraez. Remember him?
https://twitter.com/HinduMonkey
Sunday 22 March 2015
Sunday 15 March 2015
What we learnt from the Premier League this Weekend.
Is this the end of the road for Gus?
Being beating in front of your own fans is never great. Being beating by a rival for relegation less so. But being thrashed at home by Aston Villa, a team who had mustered just four goals in their previous 14 away games... well, you can’t really get much lower. Villa took just 45 minutes on Saturday to equal what they had achieved in the 1300 preceding it. Their play was full of pace and power, but to be honest, only one team turned up. John O’Shea and Wes Brown are a curious centre back partnership, capable of imperious performances against the top teams one minute, and looking like they’ve both stepped out, hungover, for the Dog & Duck the next. This weekend certainly fell into the latter category and battening down the hatches at half time will mean nothing to the 90% of Sunderland fans who had already left. Sacking a manager with just 9 games left seems unlikely, but it would certainly be a surprise to see Poyet given beyond the summer to attempt to rebuild this club. Sunderland are a good team to have in the Premier League, in that they have a large number of loyal and passionate fans. But judged on their record of transfers, finance and management over the past four to five seasons, they’re probably taking up space for one of the many team contesting the tightest Championship in years.
Burnley deserve to stay up
Unlike Sunderland, Burnley have no money, no squad and select the same eleven players each week. A feat considered almost inexplicable in the modern era. They remain in the relegation zone but they have momentum on their side and when you consider they were utterly adrift and winless after 10 games, their turnaround since has been remarkable. They now lie just 3 points behind Hull in 15th and it looks like one from the two of those four, Sunderland and Villa for the drop. Saturday evening saw the highlight of the season so far as they eased past a flat Manchester City to take a ridiculous four points off the champions. George Boyd could not even get in the Hull squad before being sold to Burnley, and the match winner has been an example of the outstanding work ethic that runs through Sean Dyche’s squad. Burnley have performed exceptionally during a difficult run against the top teams but must now do it all again against those around them. Judging by the way they played on Saturday, that shouldn’t be a problem. No club deserves to stay up more than Burnley.
QPR are, all things considered, pretty shit
The third in this weeks relegation trilogy features a club who are surely heading back to the fiery chasm from whence the came. QPR were spectacularly bad in the first half against Palace. Even in a weekend which saw at least four spectacularly bad first half performances. Neil Warnock, Mark Hughes, Harry Redknapp and now Chris Ramsey have thus far not been able to get any consistency from a club who continues to pay premium salaries for players who seemingly don’t care. As Jonathan Liew tweeted, “The funny thing about QPR, is how every single one of them clearly thinks they're a genius surrounded by morons.”
Utd & Spurs both rolled back the clock
Anyone who watched the first half at Old Trafford today could be forgiven for thinking they’d entered a time machine and gone back three years. United pressed, passed the ball quickly and blew away Spurs in a ruthless opening half hour. Something they haven’t done to any team since Fergie hung up his gloves towards the end of his final, triumphant season. Spurs meanwhile, remembered what all great Spurs teams do when faced with a crisis... duck and cover. If United’s first two goals owed everything to the bullish centre forward play of Marouane Fellaini and the pin point precision of Michael Carrick, the third owed everything to a team who looked like they had simply given up on the art of defending. The ball was passed straight to Rooney (by a Spurs player), but even then the Utd captain was 35 yards out and surrounded by four men. He went past one by running rather than walking, and then watched as Eric Dier performed what must be a contender for the limpest tackle of all time. Not believing his luck, he broke through before finally placing the ball past Loris in a way that could not have been more telegraphed. Rooney’s celebration was a tongue in cheek reference to his apparent boxing knockout last month. His goal provided the knockout to Spurs challenge for the top four. Although, in truth, like all great Spurs’ sides, they applied the decisive punch themselves.
Saints just won’t go away
They probably won’t make it into the Champions League places, but Southampton refuse to just disappear quietly into the night and once again caused problems for a top team this weekend. Saints have some wonderful players, mixed with the best back line in the league. If they had Diego Costa up front they would probably be second. Thankfully for Chelsea, Costa plays for them and his well taken goal was enough for them to escape with a single point from a match that really should have wrapped up the title. Saints meanwhile, continue to punch above their weight and now have seven of their final nine games against teams in the bottom half. With the teams above them all due to play each other. The impossible, still remains almost possible.
Team of the Weak
Green - Hard to pick out a single keeper from some of the horrific defensive showings this weekend. But Green got his angles wrong on each of the three goals he conceded. And has a really whiney little face.
Coloccini - It’s a good job Newcastle already have 35 points, because if they get more than a handful more between now and May I’ll be shocked.
Dier - Absolutely awful. Has the mobility of a three legged cow.
Brown & O’Shea - Might be the last season in the big leagues for the ex United squad players. The glory years look a long way away right now.
Matic - Has badly lost his early season spark, much like his fellow teammates. Dragged off after 52 minutes before getting sent off. Again.
Taarabt - Shocking. Just doesn’t do anything for the team and seemingly plays one in six games just at random.
Townsend - When you get subbed after 29 minutes, you have not had a great match.
Song - Not the home coming he wanted. Looked like he didn’t want to be there from kick off and to be fair, the scoreline flattered West Ham.
Aguero - Every dog has his day Sergio. And this was yours. I never thought I’d see you in here. I almost feel wrong doing it. But come on lad, you’re better than this.
Kane - An absolute horror show. No service, no support and when he did get in the game near the end every touch was a bad one. It’s not every week you can put two of the best strikers in the league in here... but it was that sort of weekend.
What you may have missed
Charlie Austin, the one QPR player who can score, not being passed the ball. Matty Phillips, not bothered, just blasting one in from forty yards anyway to complete disprove my first point. Ozil’s twinkling toes and Giroud’s rugged good looks being too much for a limp West Ham. Leicester and Hull. Just that. Leicester and Hull. Tim Sherwood calculating how he already has the best win percentage of any managers in Aston Villa’s history. Tony Pulis winning a match 1-0. I mean, seriously Tony come on. We thought you’d changed a little after Crystal Palace. But you hadn’t had you? You boring, boring bastard. Burnley beating Manchester City. Just to repeat... Burnley beating Manchester City. Everton winning a match at home. Just to repeat... Everton winning a match at home. Jose Mourinho complaining about nothing, for a change. And Manchester United... being just too... fucking... good... for a Spurs team who were so bad. Just so, so, so bad. Everything I said about Louis Van Gaal was nonsense. Hail maestro. I mean, he even played Juan Mata.
LIKE A BOSS.
https://twitter.com/HinduMonkey
Being beating in front of your own fans is never great. Being beating by a rival for relegation less so. But being thrashed at home by Aston Villa, a team who had mustered just four goals in their previous 14 away games... well, you can’t really get much lower. Villa took just 45 minutes on Saturday to equal what they had achieved in the 1300 preceding it. Their play was full of pace and power, but to be honest, only one team turned up. John O’Shea and Wes Brown are a curious centre back partnership, capable of imperious performances against the top teams one minute, and looking like they’ve both stepped out, hungover, for the Dog & Duck the next. This weekend certainly fell into the latter category and battening down the hatches at half time will mean nothing to the 90% of Sunderland fans who had already left. Sacking a manager with just 9 games left seems unlikely, but it would certainly be a surprise to see Poyet given beyond the summer to attempt to rebuild this club. Sunderland are a good team to have in the Premier League, in that they have a large number of loyal and passionate fans. But judged on their record of transfers, finance and management over the past four to five seasons, they’re probably taking up space for one of the many team contesting the tightest Championship in years.
Burnley deserve to stay up
Unlike Sunderland, Burnley have no money, no squad and select the same eleven players each week. A feat considered almost inexplicable in the modern era. They remain in the relegation zone but they have momentum on their side and when you consider they were utterly adrift and winless after 10 games, their turnaround since has been remarkable. They now lie just 3 points behind Hull in 15th and it looks like one from the two of those four, Sunderland and Villa for the drop. Saturday evening saw the highlight of the season so far as they eased past a flat Manchester City to take a ridiculous four points off the champions. George Boyd could not even get in the Hull squad before being sold to Burnley, and the match winner has been an example of the outstanding work ethic that runs through Sean Dyche’s squad. Burnley have performed exceptionally during a difficult run against the top teams but must now do it all again against those around them. Judging by the way they played on Saturday, that shouldn’t be a problem. No club deserves to stay up more than Burnley.
QPR are, all things considered, pretty shit
The third in this weeks relegation trilogy features a club who are surely heading back to the fiery chasm from whence the came. QPR were spectacularly bad in the first half against Palace. Even in a weekend which saw at least four spectacularly bad first half performances. Neil Warnock, Mark Hughes, Harry Redknapp and now Chris Ramsey have thus far not been able to get any consistency from a club who continues to pay premium salaries for players who seemingly don’t care. As Jonathan Liew tweeted, “The funny thing about QPR, is how every single one of them clearly thinks they're a genius surrounded by morons.”
Utd & Spurs both rolled back the clock
Anyone who watched the first half at Old Trafford today could be forgiven for thinking they’d entered a time machine and gone back three years. United pressed, passed the ball quickly and blew away Spurs in a ruthless opening half hour. Something they haven’t done to any team since Fergie hung up his gloves towards the end of his final, triumphant season. Spurs meanwhile, remembered what all great Spurs teams do when faced with a crisis... duck and cover. If United’s first two goals owed everything to the bullish centre forward play of Marouane Fellaini and the pin point precision of Michael Carrick, the third owed everything to a team who looked like they had simply given up on the art of defending. The ball was passed straight to Rooney (by a Spurs player), but even then the Utd captain was 35 yards out and surrounded by four men. He went past one by running rather than walking, and then watched as Eric Dier performed what must be a contender for the limpest tackle of all time. Not believing his luck, he broke through before finally placing the ball past Loris in a way that could not have been more telegraphed. Rooney’s celebration was a tongue in cheek reference to his apparent boxing knockout last month. His goal provided the knockout to Spurs challenge for the top four. Although, in truth, like all great Spurs’ sides, they applied the decisive punch themselves.
Saints just won’t go away
They probably won’t make it into the Champions League places, but Southampton refuse to just disappear quietly into the night and once again caused problems for a top team this weekend. Saints have some wonderful players, mixed with the best back line in the league. If they had Diego Costa up front they would probably be second. Thankfully for Chelsea, Costa plays for them and his well taken goal was enough for them to escape with a single point from a match that really should have wrapped up the title. Saints meanwhile, continue to punch above their weight and now have seven of their final nine games against teams in the bottom half. With the teams above them all due to play each other. The impossible, still remains almost possible.
Team of the Weak
Green - Hard to pick out a single keeper from some of the horrific defensive showings this weekend. But Green got his angles wrong on each of the three goals he conceded. And has a really whiney little face.
Coloccini - It’s a good job Newcastle already have 35 points, because if they get more than a handful more between now and May I’ll be shocked.
Dier - Absolutely awful. Has the mobility of a three legged cow.
Brown & O’Shea - Might be the last season in the big leagues for the ex United squad players. The glory years look a long way away right now.
Matic - Has badly lost his early season spark, much like his fellow teammates. Dragged off after 52 minutes before getting sent off. Again.
Taarabt - Shocking. Just doesn’t do anything for the team and seemingly plays one in six games just at random.
Townsend - When you get subbed after 29 minutes, you have not had a great match.
Song - Not the home coming he wanted. Looked like he didn’t want to be there from kick off and to be fair, the scoreline flattered West Ham.
Aguero - Every dog has his day Sergio. And this was yours. I never thought I’d see you in here. I almost feel wrong doing it. But come on lad, you’re better than this.
Kane - An absolute horror show. No service, no support and when he did get in the game near the end every touch was a bad one. It’s not every week you can put two of the best strikers in the league in here... but it was that sort of weekend.
What you may have missed
Charlie Austin, the one QPR player who can score, not being passed the ball. Matty Phillips, not bothered, just blasting one in from forty yards anyway to complete disprove my first point. Ozil’s twinkling toes and Giroud’s rugged good looks being too much for a limp West Ham. Leicester and Hull. Just that. Leicester and Hull. Tim Sherwood calculating how he already has the best win percentage of any managers in Aston Villa’s history. Tony Pulis winning a match 1-0. I mean, seriously Tony come on. We thought you’d changed a little after Crystal Palace. But you hadn’t had you? You boring, boring bastard. Burnley beating Manchester City. Just to repeat... Burnley beating Manchester City. Everton winning a match at home. Just to repeat... Everton winning a match at home. Jose Mourinho complaining about nothing, for a change. And Manchester United... being just too... fucking... good... for a Spurs team who were so bad. Just so, so, so bad. Everything I said about Louis Van Gaal was nonsense. Hail maestro. I mean, he even played Juan Mata.
LIKE A BOSS.
https://twitter.com/HinduMonkey
Thursday 5 March 2015
The Midweek Muse
The Premier League
needs Tim Sherwood, even if it doesn’t need Aston Villa
After losing his opening game to a late penalty, the worm turned in Sherwood’s favour this week as a ludicrously casual Christian Benteke secured all three points for Aston Villa. Villa have been a disgrace to the entertainment of the league for two years and do not deserve a manager like Sherwood to keep them in it. Not because he’s particularly good, but because he cares. There are few things more curious to me then when a goal goes in and managers just sit there, expressionless as if it’s a completely meaningless event. I’m not sure where this trend of non-celebration has come from. Jose Mourinho does it regularly, but with him it’s so obviously an act. You can never be sure if Jose will sit statically in his chair or knee slide onto the pitch. He may be a jumped up, detestable, handsome fox of a man. But he’s pure box office. But why so much glumness when goals go in? Isn’t this what managers are getting paid for… you know, to win football matches? Why can they not show emotion at doing so? Therefore for that reason alone, Sherwood is a welcome breath of fresh air. He celebrates with gusto and passion like a fan sat in the terraces. This is what players want to see. It’s what fans want to see. A manager who gives a shit. Long may it continue.
After losing his opening game to a late penalty, the worm turned in Sherwood’s favour this week as a ludicrously casual Christian Benteke secured all three points for Aston Villa. Villa have been a disgrace to the entertainment of the league for two years and do not deserve a manager like Sherwood to keep them in it. Not because he’s particularly good, but because he cares. There are few things more curious to me then when a goal goes in and managers just sit there, expressionless as if it’s a completely meaningless event. I’m not sure where this trend of non-celebration has come from. Jose Mourinho does it regularly, but with him it’s so obviously an act. You can never be sure if Jose will sit statically in his chair or knee slide onto the pitch. He may be a jumped up, detestable, handsome fox of a man. But he’s pure box office. But why so much glumness when goals go in? Isn’t this what managers are getting paid for… you know, to win football matches? Why can they not show emotion at doing so? Therefore for that reason alone, Sherwood is a welcome breath of fresh air. He celebrates with gusto and passion like a fan sat in the terraces. This is what players want to see. It’s what fans want to see. A manager who gives a shit. Long may it continue.
How much luck does
Louis Van Gaal have left?
Back to back wins following the wobble at Swansea, Manchester United have been outplayed in four games in a row and somehow won three of them. Inexplicably, they have kept a clean sheet in the last two thanks to the continued brilliance of David de Gea, who rest assured, is now a genuine contender for player of the year. Even by the standards of this season though, Wednesday’s victory over Newcastle was lucky. United were second best in everything apart from possession, with the barely believable form of Angel Di Maria now eroded to such a point that he cannot pass a ball six yards. Newcastle had the best of the chances, including two which were guilt edged. United created nothing clear cut and then scored in the final few minutes via one defender falling over, another failing to clear it and then the keeper hacking it straight to Ashley Young. Even then de Gea had to make another wonderful save in injury time because he hadn’t done enough already. Put simply, this surely can’t go on. It feels like an illusion that United are just one point behind Arsenal and remain in 4th. Van Gaal is generating no fluidity from a team who don’t seem to know how to score goals. United get to the opposition box and then just pass it back amongst themselves before somebody has a dip from long range. And that is basically it. Their only goals in the past two months have come from set pieces, distance, penalties or defensive errors. In one game, at home to Burnley, United were so under the kosh during the first half Van Gaal switched to a back seven and played on the counter. At home. To Burnley. With Van Persie, Di Maria, Rooney and Falcao on the pitch. United now play Arsenal, Spurs, Liverpool, Man City and Chelsea in their next six fixtures. A run which will either make this season a hugely successful transitional one, or break it into a ruinous, expensive and failed campaign for which Van Gaal directly should pay the price. So Louis… how’s your luck?
Back to back wins following the wobble at Swansea, Manchester United have been outplayed in four games in a row and somehow won three of them. Inexplicably, they have kept a clean sheet in the last two thanks to the continued brilliance of David de Gea, who rest assured, is now a genuine contender for player of the year. Even by the standards of this season though, Wednesday’s victory over Newcastle was lucky. United were second best in everything apart from possession, with the barely believable form of Angel Di Maria now eroded to such a point that he cannot pass a ball six yards. Newcastle had the best of the chances, including two which were guilt edged. United created nothing clear cut and then scored in the final few minutes via one defender falling over, another failing to clear it and then the keeper hacking it straight to Ashley Young. Even then de Gea had to make another wonderful save in injury time because he hadn’t done enough already. Put simply, this surely can’t go on. It feels like an illusion that United are just one point behind Arsenal and remain in 4th. Van Gaal is generating no fluidity from a team who don’t seem to know how to score goals. United get to the opposition box and then just pass it back amongst themselves before somebody has a dip from long range. And that is basically it. Their only goals in the past two months have come from set pieces, distance, penalties or defensive errors. In one game, at home to Burnley, United were so under the kosh during the first half Van Gaal switched to a back seven and played on the counter. At home. To Burnley. With Van Persie, Di Maria, Rooney and Falcao on the pitch. United now play Arsenal, Spurs, Liverpool, Man City and Chelsea in their next six fixtures. A run which will either make this season a hugely successful transitional one, or break it into a ruinous, expensive and failed campaign for which Van Gaal directly should pay the price. So Louis… how’s your luck?
Where would QPR be
without Charlie Austin?
Already in the Championship is the short answer. QPR have scored just 27 goals this season and Austin has scored 15 of them and made another 4. A ridiculous 68% involvement figure for a team in the relegation zone. Nobody in the team looks capable of scoring a goal apart from Charlie and, right now, he is head and shoulders above any other player at the club. He did everything he could to get a point for his side against Arsenal, single handily driving his team forward and creating half chances from nothing. His goal, a rasping 20 yarder, was rich reward for a performance that didn’t deserve to be on the losing side. That was a rueful smile from Austin when the final whistle went. Perhaps because he knows that even if QPR do go down, he almost certainly won’t be going down with them.
Already in the Championship is the short answer. QPR have scored just 27 goals this season and Austin has scored 15 of them and made another 4. A ridiculous 68% involvement figure for a team in the relegation zone. Nobody in the team looks capable of scoring a goal apart from Charlie and, right now, he is head and shoulders above any other player at the club. He did everything he could to get a point for his side against Arsenal, single handily driving his team forward and creating half chances from nothing. His goal, a rasping 20 yarder, was rich reward for a performance that didn’t deserve to be on the losing side. That was a rueful smile from Austin when the final whistle went. Perhaps because he knows that even if QPR do go down, he almost certainly won’t be going down with them.
Poyet and Bruce bring
the banter that their teams cannot
What impossibly dull teams these two are. They have collectively amassed just 49 goals in 56 matches so far; a strike every 102 minutes. That stat was never in danger of being torn up this week as the only real incident of note came on the touchlines. Poyet in particular is an emotional rollercoaster of a man who must be dying inside as he watches his team’s total inability to play attacking, passing football. Bruce is more reserved, but still a manager who has always tried to buy creative, forward minded players and then watched as they crashed and burned. Both teams strengthened upfront in January and whilst Defoe has done little to justify his club record wages, N’Doye has proved a shrewd signing. The Senegalese striker netted his third strike in as many starts to claim another point for his team and give them hope of mustering a barely respectable mid-table finish. The incident in question was an argument over a player diving, which in itself is boring. Credit for the managers in trying to make it more interesting and deflecting attention away from the pitch, but next time at least let’s get sent to the stand over a reckless leg breaker or a proper melee.
Jose Fonte is the best defender in the league
13 clean sheets in 27 starts, more interceptions than any other defender, in the top 10 for tackles, clearances, headers. I won’t labour this point, but let’s be fair, if you took Chelsea out of the picture, is there any credible contender for this accolade? What’s that? Dejan Lovren? Stop it now…
What impossibly dull teams these two are. They have collectively amassed just 49 goals in 56 matches so far; a strike every 102 minutes. That stat was never in danger of being torn up this week as the only real incident of note came on the touchlines. Poyet in particular is an emotional rollercoaster of a man who must be dying inside as he watches his team’s total inability to play attacking, passing football. Bruce is more reserved, but still a manager who has always tried to buy creative, forward minded players and then watched as they crashed and burned. Both teams strengthened upfront in January and whilst Defoe has done little to justify his club record wages, N’Doye has proved a shrewd signing. The Senegalese striker netted his third strike in as many starts to claim another point for his team and give them hope of mustering a barely respectable mid-table finish. The incident in question was an argument over a player diving, which in itself is boring. Credit for the managers in trying to make it more interesting and deflecting attention away from the pitch, but next time at least let’s get sent to the stand over a reckless leg breaker or a proper melee.
Jose Fonte is the best defender in the league
13 clean sheets in 27 starts, more interceptions than any other defender, in the top 10 for tackles, clearances, headers. I won’t labour this point, but let’s be fair, if you took Chelsea out of the picture, is there any credible contender for this accolade? What’s that? Dejan Lovren? Stop it now…
Team of the mid-weak
Foster – a calamitous match and lucky to only concede two. Three errors in the run up to the penalty and for a keeper for famed his spot kick saves, was completely undone by Benteke for the winner.
Naughton – came back to White Hart Lane and gave Spurs several reminders why they let him go.
Evans – Lucky not to concede a penalty, luckier still not to get sent off, lucky to the point of madness to have kept a clean sheet.
Coleman – Looks shackled by Martinez in new system and has lost the thrust of last season.
Upson – Note to any club looking to stay in the Premier League. Matthew Upson is NOT the answer. Please, please stop buying him. Thanks for listening.
Catermole – 10th booking of the season and subsequently suspended for the 175th time of his career. Must have one of the highest wages per minutes played in the league.
Di Maria – A few weeks ago he looked bruised, now he just looks broken. What in god’s name has happened here?
Lennon – Probably not the answer Martinez. Just a thought. You know. You don’t have to listen to me. But...
Sakho – Did all the hard work and gave Cahill and Terry the run around all game. Then missed chance… after chance… after chance…
Pelle & Lukaku - £38m. 2080 minutes in the Premier League since November. 1 league goal. Charlie Austin cost £4m by the way…
Foster – a calamitous match and lucky to only concede two. Three errors in the run up to the penalty and for a keeper for famed his spot kick saves, was completely undone by Benteke for the winner.
Naughton – came back to White Hart Lane and gave Spurs several reminders why they let him go.
Evans – Lucky not to concede a penalty, luckier still not to get sent off, lucky to the point of madness to have kept a clean sheet.
Coleman – Looks shackled by Martinez in new system and has lost the thrust of last season.
Upson – Note to any club looking to stay in the Premier League. Matthew Upson is NOT the answer. Please, please stop buying him. Thanks for listening.
Catermole – 10th booking of the season and subsequently suspended for the 175th time of his career. Must have one of the highest wages per minutes played in the league.
Di Maria – A few weeks ago he looked bruised, now he just looks broken. What in god’s name has happened here?
Lennon – Probably not the answer Martinez. Just a thought. You know. You don’t have to listen to me. But...
Sakho – Did all the hard work and gave Cahill and Terry the run around all game. Then missed chance… after chance… after chance…
Pelle & Lukaku - £38m. 2080 minutes in the Premier League since November. 1 league goal. Charlie Austin cost £4m by the way…
What you may have
missed
This blog being produced even remotely close to on time. Saints grinding out yet another 1 nil victory. Palace realising the “Pardew factor” is not a long one. Man City just about beating Leicester. At home. And just sitting there in second… not bothered. Ozil missing an open goal from three yards. Giroud continuing to score goals, despite obviously being shit. Theo Walcott being “eased” back into action slower than a snail circumnavigating the globe. Spurs and Swansea enjoying an entertaining attacking ding dong that meant ultimately very little. Stoke winning again and generally annoying everyone. Liverpool now being the most in form team in the league. Philipe Coutinho remembering how good he is at football again. Chelsea playing so average, all of the time, and just winning… 1 or 2 nil… again… it’s… just… so… fucking… boring.
This blog being produced even remotely close to on time. Saints grinding out yet another 1 nil victory. Palace realising the “Pardew factor” is not a long one. Man City just about beating Leicester. At home. And just sitting there in second… not bothered. Ozil missing an open goal from three yards. Giroud continuing to score goals, despite obviously being shit. Theo Walcott being “eased” back into action slower than a snail circumnavigating the globe. Spurs and Swansea enjoying an entertaining attacking ding dong that meant ultimately very little. Stoke winning again and generally annoying everyone. Liverpool now being the most in form team in the league. Philipe Coutinho remembering how good he is at football again. Chelsea playing so average, all of the time, and just winning… 1 or 2 nil… again… it’s… just… so… fucking… boring.
Do you think if we put together a best of the rest team we
could beat Chelsea? Who would we have?
De Gea
Zabaleta Fonte Reid Bertrand
Silva Eriksen Song Sanchez
Kane Aguero
Zabaleta Fonte Reid Bertrand
Silva Eriksen Song Sanchez
Kane Aguero
Nah? Probably not…
Dear god can anyone defend in this league except Chelsea and
Southampton? I mean, I’ve had to put two West Ham players in there!
I need a beer.
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