Monday 18 December 2017

Five Things we've learnt from the Premier League - Week Eighteen

City reach impossible heights
Firstly some perspective. City have won nothing yet. They’re not the treble winning Manchester United team of the Fergie era, nor are they the Arsenal invincibles. What they remain, is a team with the capacity to eclipse both.

City swept aside Spurs on Saturday to take their collective results against the other “big 5” this season to 5 wins, 16 goals and 3 conceded. That scoreline flatters the other clubs. City battered Chelsea to a 1-0 victory and could have scored more against all the other clubs as well. Only Arsenal, for a 15-20 minute spell, truly managed to “hurt” City and make them look vulnerable. Sadly, with a defence as organised as theirs… that only seemed to make them madder and like on Saturday, the Sky Blue players swept forward with reckless abandon taking it in turns to fill their collective boots.

Raheem Sterling has now scored 15 goals this season despite being absolutely terrible at shooting. Lord knows how Man City could have scored if the sort of chances he gets every game fell to Aguero. None of that is to insult Sterling – I questioned the shooting ability of Mo Salah earlier in the season as well, and the two of them now sit on a ridiculous 35 goals with the campaign not even half way through. Both players have become supremely talented at creating space and ghosting into the box like ninjas.

City look unbeatable. Not just for the title, but in every singular game. They look as good as the Barca sides of Pep’s pomp and they are doing so without a Lionel Messi. Yes Pep has spent a lot of money, but he has still taken rough diamonds and polished them into the most sparkling of gems. 

This was supposed to be the most open of seasons – with six genuine challengers for the coveted top spot.

It is no longer a question of whether they will win the title. It’s a question of what records they might break doing so.

Pardew struggling to get Baggies out of neutral
4 games, no wins, 1 goal – it’s safe so say it’s very much so far so exactly the same for Pardew and West Brom. This is made even more awkward by the fact that the other clubs who’ve replaced their managers (Leicester, Palace, West Ham, Everton) have all enjoyed relative honeymoon periods so far. West Brom just look bereft of ideas in the final third, possessing neither a centre forward capable of scoring goals, or a midfielder capable of creating them. The side have missed the talents of Chadli, Phillips and Brunt for most of the season and they have nothing to fill the void when those players aren’t working in tandem. January can’t come fast enough for Alan and his army… although at least they play Stoke next week. The only team currently looking more shit than they do.

Moyes finds gold in most unlikely of hills
It took a couple of games, but West Ham were unlucky to lose against the mighty Manchester City and since that match have drawn with Arsenal, beaten Chelsea and Stoke and all without conceding a goal. Clearly all of this can’t be explained by merely dropping the abysmal Joe Hart, and it’s becoming increasingly more likely that at some stage I might, you know… actually have to praise David Moyes and the utter transformation of Marko Arnautovic. I’ll put that off for a little while longer and instead talk up confidence & momentum as being a wonderful thing. West Ham now have a ridiculous run of fixtures where they play only one of the current top 8 in the next 9 games. If they can maintain this form during that warmest of winter runs, they could easily be in the top half by February and this blogger will have to consume the humblest of humble pies.

Watford have to learn how to defend
Watford remain 9th in the table, despite not winning in 5 matches and now possess the second worst defensive record in the league. Their fans have seen 60 goals go in at either end this season, a level of entertainment only eclipsed by City. They cannot go on however, defending with such a total lack of carelessness.

Watford have lost the lead more times than I care to remember this season, but they didn’t even give themselves that against an ailing Huddersfield. Instead they were down to 10 men before they could mount a comeback and conceded 4 goals to a team who had previously scored that many in 7 matches.

Silva is a likeable and positive manager, who clearly wants his team to entertain. But he needs to add some stability to such forward momentum or both his and Watford’s season will be remembered merely for what might have been.

Newcastle lost as owner finally cashes out
Rafa Benitez is clearly a fine manager, but he cannot continue to blame those above him for a run of form so hapless that he now finds his team within the relegation zone. Newcastle have lost 8 and drawn 1 of their last 9 matches. A run dripping with excrement and wrung dry with smegma. They just look a terrible side all over the pitch and with the resurgent West Ham, followed by Manchester City up next they might require a lot of signings in January to dig themselves out of this hole.

In fairness to Newcastle, Arsenal were only marginally better than they were at the weekend. A truly turgid game of football made interesting for 3 reasons. 1. That Ozil goal – worthy of winning any match. 2. Back to back 90 minutes for Jack Wilshire for the first time since Brexit happened. 3. The ability to now play “what minute will Lacazette be dejectedly substituted” game in literally every match.

Team of the Weak

Gomes – on one of those runs where he looks less like a goalkeeper and more a puppet whose strings have been cut
Simpson – has played well of late but was awful here and torn apart by Zaha
Janmaat – remains a defender with great ability who very rarely shows it
Francis – let’s be kind, Liverpool could probably have scored ten
Rose – spent most of the match just looking enviously at Kyle Walker and mouthing “why Kyle… why did you leave me here?”
Fletcher – did a fine job shielding West Brom’s defence last season, but has looked terrible for Stoke and no poorer than here where Lanzini made him look like a duck on ice for most of the match
Gross – the Seasiders most creative spark earlier in the season now looks to have fizzled out along with the team
Alli – in horrendous form and should have been sent off for a dangerous and deliberate lunge – the rule about not being able to review yellow cards really needs looking at
Dembele – little better – is not having a good season and Spurs spine currently looks weak and devoid of form
Deeney – a terrible challenge for any player to make, but at 2-0 down and as club captain – near criminal
Defoe – when you play against Liverpool you always have a chance – Defoe didn’t take it
Murray – a missed penalty in another stalemate – you gotta make those count Glenn, you just gotta

Enjoy Christmas yer all. I’ll be back after the festivities for my usual “upside down” universe entrant into the canon.



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