Monday 6 November 2017

Five Things we've learnt from the Premier League - Week Eleven



Lukaku and Jose fluff their lines again
It has now been 13 away games against “top six” opposition since Jose Mourinho won. And in that time his teams have scored a solitary goal. A derisory record that would make Arsene Wenger blush. United at least tried to attack Chelsea on Sunday, but they did so with very little threat and the complete lack of a centre forward who can lead his team from the front when the chips are down. Whereas Morata was a menace throughout, Lukaku looked like exactly the sort of player who we’ve seen so many times now in these type of matches. The common thinking was we couldn’t judge Lukaku properly as a “top, top” striker until we saw him in the bigger matches for United. Everton, after all, have largely been a collective embarrassment in the bigger fixtures for over a decade now. Well so far, so exactly the same then. No goals against Liverpool, Spurs or Chelsea in recent weeks have blotted his copy book once more and it’s in these type of games that United need a £70m striker to earn his wage. Lukaku is not missing easy chances, but he’s also not grabbing games by the scruff of the neck and he’s making it far too easy for centre backs to mark him out of the game. Against Spurs this was maybe acceptable, but judging by the way that Liverpool and Chelsea have defended this season… it certainly isn’t.

United now sit adrift of City as the final international break looms; and anyone who still doesn’t rate Paul Pogba only needs to look at how one note the team has been since he got injured. For Lukaku, he now has Newcastle, Brighton and Watford up next. The Belgian finds himself in the curious situation of if he finds his form and the net again in those matches… it will merely serve to prove his doubters right, rather than wrong.

Hammers Hammered again as Bilic departs
Another weekend, another woeful performance in front of their own fans by West Ham. It’s becoming increasingly hard to pick out individuals such is the collective incompetence, which is probably why the owners finally had enough this morning and gave Slaven Bilic the sack. Liverpool had to do little beyond bide their time and wait for West Ham to shoot themselves in the foot. Nobody profited more than Mohamed Salah, who now has an impressive 11 goals (more than anyone bar Kane in English football) in his second stint in the “greatest league on earth.” The Egyptian is in fine form and whilst his first was a gift, his second goal was a wonderful hit worthy of winning any game.

For West Ham, they head into the break in the relegation zone and with the haunting spectre of David Moyes looming on the horizon (I mean seriously guys – he’s not even like the best of the worst option out there, let alone the best). Still, it’s always darkest before the dawn lads, chin up*.
*it’s not – this is a ridiculous phrase, I don't care how cool a movie The Dark Knight is

City cantering to the title as Arsenal exposed again
The most obvious result of the weekend saw Manchester City never even bothering to get out of third gear to despatch a pathetic Arsenal side. Like a Lion playing with a wounded mouse, City teased and tortured Arsenal by refusing to do anything but sit back and wait for the mistakes to happen. Arsenal fans will cling to such positives as… well… actually scoring… but in truth this was yet another embarrassment for their side. Manchester City had ten, man over counter attacks during the match. Ten. Just think about that for a moment. Ten times City broke at pace from an Arsenal attack and had a 3 on 2, 4 on 3… or on one occasion, an astonishing 5 on 1. They scored from none of these opportunities. Their final ball, particularly from the otherwise superb Kevin De Bruyne, was chronically lacking and they let Arsenal off the hook time and time again. 3-1 flattered Wenger, who is now the most clueless manager in a decade of Premier League management. The season might be only 11 games old, but it’s hard to see how any team can catch this City side. Realistically they are going to have to stop them scoring at some stage. If they don’t, it won’t just be the title City claim, it will be every scoring record in league history along with it.

Swans capsize at home again
Swansea City lie in 19th position and have the worst home record in the top flight. They have lost 5 of their 6 home games this season, conceding 10 goals and scoring just 4. No other side has lost more than 3 times in front of their own fans and three of those teams have already sacked their managers.
With only one player who looks capable of scoring and a midfield almost uniquely devoid of any creativity, pace or dynamism, it’s hard to see how Swansea can improve quickly without grinding out 1 nils. All of this is a far cry from last season, when a Sigurdsson inspired team took an improbable 13 points from their last 15 available to steer themselves to safety. 

Swansea look in real trouble with as many games again (11) before they can bring in any new faces to freshen things up. Swans don’t usually make the menu at Christmas time, but if things don’t improve soon those better off than them will be having a festive feast at their expense.

Yeah.

I’m not sure that worked either. It was the Swansea City of tenuous analogies.

That’s better. Onwards…

Dyche delights on a shoestring… again
Burnley are 7th having lost as few matches (two) as any team in the league bar City. They don’t score a lot (10 in 11) but have the best defensive record outside of the top 3 and it’s obviously something to do with the management rather than the individual. A team currently missing 3 of their key 5 men from last season have actually improved their backline statistics and one wonders how much longer Sean Dyche can continue to defy his suitors and remain loyal to his club.

It is staggering, for example, that West Ham haven’t at least sounded him out regarding their position. Dyche is a hugely likeable manager and the work he has done at Burnley deserves huge recognition. Their home ground is a fortress, but this season they have defended well on their travels as well. If they could just add a genuine goal scorer, or a midfielder say with the vision of a Christian Gross over at Brighton, they could make a compelling case for being the best of the rest in a league that is increasingly looking two tiers.

Or three. With City in a league of their own.

Team of the Weak:
The West Ham back line, the Arsenal midfield and the Manchester United attack.

All three completely missing in action.

Police are still searching for Granit Xhaka with little hope of recovery.

See you all after the international break as the festive fixture fest finally starts to kick in.


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