Sunday 28 February 2016

Five things we learnt from the Premier League this weekend

City find the corners to end Liverpool’s hopes.
An absorbing if low on quality cup final came to an end with the Russian Roulette that is a penalty shootout this evening, and it was the boys in Blue who were left singing all the way back up to the North West. City won thanks to some ruthless, almost laser guided penalties that all found the corners of the luckless Mignolet’s net. Even the one they missed hit the post. Pool on the other hand, showed the usual inconsistency that has blighted their season throughout and were left empty handed, grimacing at the knowledge that their only hope of any glory this season, now lies in getting past that other, smaller club from Manchester in the Europa League. Klopp will ultimately be judged on next season not this one, and Pool can probably consider themselves lucky to be here at all, having actually only won two of their six league cup matches in normal time. City meanwhile can dust themselves off and see two games in a week around the corner (including Pool again) in the Premier League. How will that draining 120 minutes affect their troops? And what side will they put out on Wednesday now they find themselves closer to dropping out of the top four than winning the title? Only time will tell on that front, but for now their fans will simply be happy that another season has already been ticked off with something in the silverware column.

You can’t win anything with kids, but you can still beat Arsenal.
Oh Arsenal. You’re just not going to do it are you? And I mean ever. Or at least as long as Arsene Wenger stays at the helm. All of your main rivals have had their worst seasons in years and you’re still going to finish 3rd of 4th. And to Spurs as well? I mean Leicester hurts everyone (Citation: Delights everyone) but Spurs? Oooh... you can’t finish below them can you? Can you?

Apparently, they probably can. Certainly as long as they remain incapable of rousing themselves against a Manchester United side which featured a front three of pre-schoolers, a defence constructed by pre-schoolers and by the end had put so many kids on the pitch that it was beginning to resemble an N-Sync concert (insert band who the kids actually love in 2016).

Say what you want about Van Gaal (and I have) but he has shown a staggering commitment to youth when other managers would have caved and gone out and got reinforcements in January. He has given debuts to 16 academy players since taking over the job and none of them have hit the ground running faster than Marcus Rashford. Four games in two huge games, have propelled Rashford into the stratosphere and have finally given the United faithful something to cheer about again. Where he goes from here is anyone’s guess. Although you imagine Woy already has him on the plane...

Spurs and Leicester fans keep dreaming?
Dare I say it... these were title winning victories this week. Battling hard against a stubborn defence before finally getting a winner at the death? Never giving up and coming from behind to snatch victory? What a season it has been for these two clubs. Sensationally managed with a team spirit that cuts through each and every player. If there is one thing this season has taught us, is that it doesn’t matter how much money or sponsorship you have - if you’ve got a group of talented, well motivated players who are all willing to go out there and work this hard for each other - you can achieve anything. Fairy tales like this were supposed to be dead in English football. Not anymore. 11 games left lads... you probably only need to win 6 of them. Don’t stumble.

Is this the worst relegation fight ever?
Villa have gone, Chelsea have escaped and realistically this is looking increasingly like two of Sunderland, Newcastle and Norwich to go down. The trouble is, none of them want to win matches? When they do, they tend to follow it up with a useless loss. West Ham literally couldn’t have played worse on Saturday, and Sunderland still couldn’t score past them. Norwich played much better, but again got no reward and Newcastle’s prize for a fortnight off is another away match to a revived Stoke team who have embarrassed greater squads than theirs at the Britannia this season. At this point I literally don’t care which two of these teams go down... just as long as it’s over, quickly.

When the game of the day is West Brom, you’re in trouble.
Let’s not beat around the bush, great as was for Leicester to win again, the league action on Saturday was just about as poor as I’ve ever witnessed. Five matches had produced a mere eight goals before Pulis and Pardew served up a five goal thriller of, er... you batter us for one half and then we’ll do the opposite and see who scores more. Every game was blighted with individual errors, strange refereeing decisions and a complete and utter lack of ability. You’re all back again on Tuesday lads. Shape up, and don’t serve up any of that shit again.

Team of the Weak

Mignolet - I don’t even need to say it do I
Ward - Fell over more times than he completed successful crosses or tackles.
Okora - Okawful
Van Aanholt - Awful error for the goal in a match that would have been nil nil until time stood still. Looked like he was going to cry.
Gabriel - Oh Arsene. Oh Arsene, Arsene.
Walcott - Allegedly played 62 minutes of a football match.
Cabaye - Fouled people, pranced around, went off, probably cried.
Khazri - Bad day at the office culminating in that hopeless rabona attempt.
Westwood - Deadwood
Ighalo - Has gone off the boil. I don’t like to see you in here son. Come on, you’re better than this.
Anybody who plays up front for Norwich City - I mean, lads? Come on?

What you may have missed

Cristiano Ronaldo saying this his “team would be in first place if they were all on my level” angrily after a match. Before then retracting it and claiming he only meant “fitness wise.”

Did you mean that though Chris? Did you really...

Happy Fox Hunting.


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