Monday 19 October 2015

What We Learnt From The Premier League

Klopp needs time, luck and a strike force who can stay fit.
The big talking point of the past fortnight hasn’t been Holland somehow not qualifying for the European Championships despite Northern Ireland, Iceland, Wales, Bristol Rovers and Jersey managing that feat. No, because only about 12 people still care about international football (Gareth Bale’s family basically) - most of the news was taken up with the appointment of Jurgen Klopp at Liverpool. If Liverpool are a sleeping giant, they’ve been in hibernation for some time. Klopp did a fine job at Dortmund, particularly in the middle of his spell when he took his team to the final of the Champions League, thrashing Real Madrid en route, in between back to back league titles. The squad he inherits at Liverpool is young, pacey and treading a thin line between highly promising and highly disappointing. There are a lot of players here who, with the right coaching and management, could challenge for major trophies in 2-3 years. Likewise, the whole squad could conceivably be transferred to Villa and Sunderland in the same timescales. Klopp needs time to make his mark at the club, but he also can’t afford to be losing the likes of Benteke, Sturridge, Henderson and Firmino to injury all at the same time. Liverpool have lacked cutting edge since Suarez left anyway, and if the German is too succeed, he needs to add goals to a team who have too often flattered to deceive in the final third.

Or you know, he could just buy Robert Lewandowski. In la la land.

Newcastle finally get their Win... naldum
It would be stating the obvious to say that Newcastle had started the season poorly, but the caveat to that was the time it would take a lot of new signings to gel, and a fixture list that literally gave them 6 of the hardest matches of the season in the first 8. Against a Norwich team who love conceding goals even more than they do scoring them, Newcastle cut loose in stylish fashion to record their first win of the season. Central to their success was a front four that buzzed with pace, creativity and power. Mitrovic and Ayoze is a young strike partnership that could frighten any team given time and patience. Behind them, Moussa Sissoko is perhaps the quintessential Newcastle United player. One week he’ll huff and puff and nothing will come off, the next he’ll be sent off for petulance, then an entire game will pass him by before finally, he’ll turn up once a month and look like the best player in the world. Sissoko created everything on Sunday, most of it converted by the imperious Wijnaldum. The Dutch international has now scored more goals from midfield than any player in world football over the past 12 months. Which does kind of beg the question, what exactly is he doing at Newcastle? With a fixture list that now turns kinder than any other side from now until Christmas, Newcastle suddenly have the confidence and the firepower to climb the table, maintain their status as a mid table club who claim to be a big one... and sell all their prized assets for a profit in the summer.

Everton mourn much more than a mere loss
There was nobody stepping up to criticize Everton when their heads visibly dropped after United scored this weekend. Hours before kick off the news had broke that Howard Kendall, arguably their greatest ever manager, had died. Such news only ever goes two ways with teams, serving as a motivational tool to galvanize them to great heights, or weigh hard on shoulders and hearts. It was the latter at play at Goodison and Everton players and fans all looked like they had bigger things on their minds as United cruised to a comfortable victory. Kendall had three spells at Everton and was certainly the man I associated with Everton growing up. He was hugely successful in his first spell, winning trophies both home and abroad with teams containing some of the greatest names ever associated with the club; Peter Reid, Trevor Steven, Andy Gray, Tony Cottee, Gary Lineker. If ever there was an example of a manager in love with a club though, it was demonstrated by Kendall’s extraordinary decision to return to the club when they were battling relegation. Extraordinary because at the time he was managing Manchester City, challenging at the top. He steadied the club and twice preserved their status as the longest serving club in the top flight. Kendall was a passionate manager and clearly a fine man. In an increasingly fickle sport, it was saddening to lose such a genuinely loyal and respected figure.

Watford need goals. From anywhere.
The lowest scorers in the Premier League battled well for an hour against Arsenal before falling to defeat in a ruthless ten minute spell. Nobody is expecting Watford to compete with Arsenal upfront, but given they signed 372 players in the summer, it’s probably fair to suggest that someone other than Odion Ighalo should be scoring by now. The Nigerian has scored five of his teams six goals, and the other was scored by Layun in the 13th minute of the opening game. That means, that aside from Ighalo, nobody at Watford football club has now scored in 800 minutes. That, quite frankly, is a joke. Flores needs to get his team firing and fast. Deeney is a loyal work horse but looks to lack the finesse to flourish at this level. Behind them though, the midfield need to start creating chances for their strikers to finish. And be reminded that, at any stage, they are actually allowed to shoot.

Jamie Vardy
I mean, I don’t want to say I called it. But this is getting embarrassing now. The least Man United could do is get Woodward to table a £50m speculative bid just for a laugh. Most underrated player in England? I’m upgrading that to Europe. Hail Foxes.

Team of the Weak

Guzan – the once safe pair of hands is now costing villa goals every week. None more so than against a continuously lethargic Chelsea, when he opted to gift them a goal having already seen one slip past him due to a hideous error from Lescott. Sherwood could do a lot worse than taking both players out of the firing line at once.
Lescott – see above. When you’re the weak link in a defence that includes Micah Richards and Alan Hutton, you’re in trouble.
Whittaker & Olson – the two full backs for Norwich were absolutely torn apart by Sissoko (4 assists) and Wijnaldum (4 goals). Norwich have no problems scoring goals, but they have to start learning how to shut the door behind them if they’re not going back to the fiery chasm from whence they came.
Distin – If there’s one thing Raheem Sterling can do, it’s run. And if there’s one thing 58 year old Sylvain Distin can’t do… well, you get the idea.
Barry – was tasked to protect his defence and keep Ander Herrera quiet. Failed.
Larsson – here is a simple tip to any new Sunderland manager. Please. Please stop picking Larsson. Ever.
Lamela – Another one of those frustrating performances by the youngster, who continues to flatter to deceive in almost every other match.
Hazard – Only played for seven minutes after being placed in the naughty corner by Jose Mourinho for not defending enough. But still, he’s in here because it’s very funny to see the creative player of the year not get to start, at home against arguably the worst team in the league because he won’t defend enough. Come on Jose, lighten up and take the hand brake off for fucks sake. A goal difference of minus three after 9 games isn’t just because of the defence.
Origi – It honestly looked like Liverpool had stuck the lad on work experience up top.
Fletcher – Sunderland is the place where strikers go to die. And so after paying £12.5m for the man who had plundered 33 goals in three seasons, the Black Cats have watched Fletcher stumble to 10 in the same time period. His average for Sunderland is now a goal every 350 minutes. And he’s spent most of the extra time injured.

What you may have missed
Harry Kane looking longingly into the eyes of the back of the net and remembering wistfully when he used to put a ball in it; Diego Costa being absolutely amazing by NOT getting sent off and scoring a tap in from five yards; Alan Pardew basically just gently pleading with the referee to have not sent off his player even though... he was completely correct to send off his player; Wayne Rooney scoring a goal away from home; against Everton; Raheem Sterling scoring a hat trick; despite really having should have scored eight; Leicester coming from behind yet again; West Brom eeking out another 1-0 win as their fans slowly, but surely all turn to rugby and Swansea and Stoke all showing 6 year olds everywhere, how not to pass a fucking football.


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