Sunday 19 January 2014

Five Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Twenty Two

1. Man Utd have to decide to stick or twist.
First, some statistics. So far this season Manchester United have played the current top 9 clubs a total of 10 times. Their record reads won 1, drawn 2, lost 7. A record worse than any of those clubs when compared side to side. The aggregate score in those ten matches is 7-15. And Utd have only once scored more than a single goal. It’s no point throwing any negative adjectives at a record like that… it stands up all on its own. So the decision for Utd is now whether to stick or twist with David Moyes. Based on current form, injuries and the record to date against the teams around them, it is impossible to see how Utd are going to make up the ground required to get 4th and the coveted Champions League spot. Indeed, it is far more likely that they will be even further behind come the 38th game than they are now. What message does it send to the players, both present and future that within a single season shorn of Ferguson the club have tumbled from 1st to 7th? A club who have never finished lower than 3rd in the Premier League era. Are Rooney, Van Persie and the few other marquee players going to stay? Are the new kids on the block going to come? The worst case scenario is a Utd team stripped of their star assets, out of Europe and forced into a complete rebuild over a long period of time whilst City, Chelsea et all compete for the main prizes over the next decade. The alternative of course is to give Moyes some time, based on the assumption that he will get better and will have the chance to bring in his own players to improve a very average squad in the summer. This is a nice idea in theory, but is based on the assumption that Moyes has in his locker something he has yet to show any evidence of in his managerial career to date… and that is winning big games against big teams. If Utd keep Moyes they have no chance whatsoever of getting 4th this season. Sack him, bring in someone else and a couple of new signings and there is at least a chance (all be it a very small one) of momentum turning it round and capitalising on the inconsistencies of the teams above them. It is likely that Utd won’t twist at this juncture though. The squad as well as the manager have been horribly exposed this season and it’s clear that whoever is in charge needs at least six new players. For Utd fans, the question now isn’t whether they’ll be playing Champions League football next season… but if they’ll be playing it at all anytime soon.

2. The defence is refusing to rest.
The season is 22 games old and Arsenal are still top. Shorn of Aaron Ramsey the Gunners have stuttered creatively of late, but they are getting over the line game after tedious game thanks to the inexplicable form of Mertesacker and Koscielny. I say inexplicable only because of the way both these players started their Premier League careers. Neither are especially quick and both seemed prone to the sort of positional errors that you’d expect from a team managed by Mick McCarthy not Arsene Wenger. This weekend’s home win against Fulham was the 29th game in a row that the two have started and finished unbeaten. Koscielny is all competitive tackling, raw desire and increased ability possibly stemming from Steve Bould sitting him down to watch hour after hour of himself, Adams and Keown keeping clean sheets like they were notches on a bed post. His improvement has been marked, not least in cutting out the errors that littered his early seasons. But his development into one of the finest defenders in the league has been nothing compared to that of Mertesacker. Watching the big German play this season is making it seem like a group illusion that he could have been so abject in his opening campaign. He is composed, classy and his positional ability is now the best in the league bar none. People don’t mention his lack of pace anymore… and he hasn’t got any faster. Combined with a fine young keeper and full backs who have found their form again thanks to genuine competition, Mertesacker and Koscielny have emerged as the season’s best partnership to date. Looking at how Arsenal have done when either of them haven’t played, it may be that Arsene Wenger’s biggest injury fear isn’t Olivier Giroud, but his centre backs.

3. Will the real Adeboyer please stand up.
Few players have managed to look as good and as bad as Emmanuel Adeboyer over the past decade. He has always been an emotional player, and if you ask me for abiding memories of him it would be either that absurd knee slide to the Arsenal fans or the time he refused to square the ball to Thierry Henry for an open goal and the Frenchman fell to the floor and beat his fists on the ground. But amidst the inflated wage transfer dealings and performances so poor he may as well have been invisible; there continues to be bursts of brilliance for a couple of months here, couple of months there that continues to convince you he may be one of the great underappreciated geniuses of our time. Adeboyer rarely seems to actually play football, he wanders around with a general sense of distain for having to be on the pitch at all and then bursts into life at a moment’s notice. He has been central to Spurs’ unexpected renaissance under Tim Sherwood and has scored 5 and created 3 in his last 6 matches. The real tests are still to come though. Can the big striker sustain this form for the rest of the season and give some sort of credible claim to the drunk guy in the corner who thinks Spurs can finish 4th? Before all that, can he actually deliver a performance when it truly matters. Like, to choose one game at random, the next league game at home to Manchester City. After all, he and the club should need no extra motivation to play well in that one.

4. How much is Yohan Cabaye worth now?
Arsenal’s bid of £10m in the summer is looking more derisory by the week. Newcastle bounced back from their cruel defeat by Manchester City last week with a performance of class and guile masterminded by their very own Napoleon. Cabaye is getting better with age like a fine Bordeaux and, now 28, is littering the Premier League with class almost every week. After that questionable start to the season the Frenchman has scored 7 times in the last 15 games and popped up with 4 further assists. His set piece delivery is unerring and his range of passing would make Paul Scholes tip his hat in appreciation. Cabaye is the heartbeat of a Newcastle team that has grown in confidence with each game. They remain an outside bet for a Europe League place, but most fans would have bitten your hand off for that following their efforts last time around. Talking of biting hands, the mind boggles at Alan Pardew promising to “punish himself” for his outburst last week. That is one video of self-flagellation I’d pay money to avoid…

5. Norwich need to get relegated.
Saving themselves with two games to go last season, Norwich actually managed to finish in mid table and look destined to repeat the trick this time around in a bottom half so bunched it could… hold on, I’ve just realised that my comment above about Alan Pardew implies I would happily pay money to see other videos of self-flagellation. I wouldn’t. I just want to make that absolutely clear.

Absolutely clear.

Where was I? Norwich. Yes. Oh fuck it you all know they’re dull don’t you. 22 games, 18 goals, more nil nils than any team, boring, dull, lifeless… you do the rest, I’m off to bed.


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