Monday 29 October 2012

Five Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Week - Week Nine


1. How hard is it to let football to do the talking?
Sky’s Super Sundays rarely delivers, but this weekend’s combination of a high octane Merseyside derby littered with subtext; and a full out attacking bonanza at Stamford Bridge were both ruined by terrible refereeing. At least the Everton & Liverpool game waited until the last few minutes before letting controversy mar it. This was not the case at Chelsea, where the Mark Clatternburg show completely took over what was fast becoming the game of the season. As it was, not only were we robbed of a final half hour of end to end attacking football, we were left once again to listen to the pundits, the managers and the media seemingly forget about how much wonderful football they’d seen and just discuss the controversies over and over again. This is the biggest shame about all of this. I want to hear people talk about the way Suarez tore through Everton’s defence. Or the way David Moyes team rallied themselves in fine style to come back from two down. I want to discuss the passes that combined to create Chelsea’s magnificent second goal, or the movement from Robin Van Persie in both of Utd’s openers. What I don’t want is half an hour of people going on about bad decisions. Decisions, it has to be said, that were so obviously wrong it barely merits a discussion in the first place. Indeed, you open the papers this morning and there’s little mention of the football in light of not only the existing incidents, but the extraordinary allegations that Clatternburg racially abused a Chelsea player. A friend made a good point yesterday on that. If he is found guilty will he be given a 4 game ban like John Terry? Unlikely. He’ll probably be sacked. In which case not only will football once again be guilty of terrible hypocrisy, but Howard Webb has a lot of responsibility as Fergies remaining 12th man…

2. But… we have to give refs more help.
All of yesterdays’ controversy could have been wiped away with three simple rule changes. Diving, the professional foul and offside goals all ruin games week in week out and none of the changes outlined below would slow the game down or take away the “power” from referees like FIFA claim.

i. Retrospective punishment for diving.
Refs are on increasing pressure to clamp down on simulation and it’s clear that was the message ringing in Clattenburg’s ears when he booked Torres yesterday. However, it was an impossible call and one he should never be in a position to have to make. Ref’s should never be having to guess whether people went down too easily or not, they should let the game flow and be able to assess the video footage after a match and if they think someone has dived, be able to issue a retrospective straight red card. This would cut out diving at once as right now, about three people would be sent off every game. It would also keep the power with the referee who would have time and technology on his side to make his decision.

ii. Change the professional foul rule.
One of my most despised rules in all of football, it the tackle isn’t cynical or dangerous, a player should not be sent off for what we saw on Sunday. A clash of legs, accidental collisions or a genuine mistimed tackle should not be punished by a red card. But what do you do when someone is clean through outside the box then? Simple. Award a penalty. They do it in other sports, why not football. All that has been denied is a “clear goal scoring opportunity” – so give them one.

iii. Allow for offside goals to be reviewed by the 4th official.
Within 20 seconds on Sunday, the 4th official would have correctly awarded Liverpool a goal and denied Man Utd one. For all the fuss about goal line technology, this is a much more common problem and one that offers exactly the same solution. Just allow a team to review it? The 4th official (or someone else) could communicate to the referee during the celebrations whether or not the goal was offside or not. It wouldn’t slow the match down and if you’re worried about assistant refs losing their jobs then say that each captain can review one decision a match. We’re all human, we all make mistakes, but what we saw on Sunday (especially at Goodison) were just total bottles from fallible officials under intense pressure. The time has come to help them, rather than just abuse them. Maybe this way we can start talking about football again…

3. David de Gea is all sorts of fun.
Say what you like about De Gea, he’s pure box office. Easily the most entertaining keeper since Crazy Jens left our hallowed shores, the young Spaniard is a mixture of the surreal, sublime and complete shit in every single 90 minutes he plays. On Sunday he managed to follow up an 80 yard pin point drop kick under pressure onto the boot of Van Persie, with a scuffed clearance straight to a Chelsea player. The next minute he was flapping at a cross before making one of the saves of the season to deny Torres. There is no middle ground with De Gea, his distribution is often extraordinary accurate and his shot stopping is as good as anyone in the world. Sadly his command of his penalty box is, at best, invisible and at worst disastrous. In short, you never know what you’re going to get next from him. Currently he saves at least one shot he has no right to save every match. Which would be great if he didn’t concede a goal he really should have kept out every match as well. Regardless of his performances, Fergie owes it to the league to play him every match. The division is much more entertaining with him in it.

4. There is no defence for Southampton.
Fast becoming the new Blackpool, without the ability to actually win, Southampton look set to be an entertaining footnote in this year’s Premier League battle. Lying in 19th place already adrift of safety, they are actually the league’s 6th highest scorers. Sadly they have conceded 26 goals in 9 games. Indeed, their fans have witnessed 40 goals in all at an extraordinary average of 4.5 a match. At this rate they are on target to beat Swindon Town’s unenviable record of 100 goals in one season… in less games. The problem with Southampton is simple, they cannot defend in any way shape or form. Bale’s opener yesterday came from a looped cross which he headed in from around 16 yards, barely challenged. Before that, Saints had been carved open by the seemingly new technique of people passing the ball and running after it. They improved in the second half, but only because they had more of the ball. Indeed, given you can’t see how they’re going to improve their rearguard at this hour, the only chance they have of getting close to the 40 point mark is trying to keep the ball for the vast majority of the time. Saints possess some very good footballers and they should look to Swansea as their blueprint for how to keep the ball and also stay vaguely solid at the same time. If not, you fear for them not just getting relegated, but going down with an unwanted statistic hanging around their necks as well.

5. There are no winners at Norwich.
Norwich are probably the most regularly patronised club in the top flight. 3 minutes of highlights can’t go by without a nod to their director’s box or reference to Alan Partridge. Most football fans couldn’t name more than three of their players. This summer they replaced the departing Paul Lambert with the reliable, likeable Chris Hughton. On the evidence of Saturday however, neither manager nor club can be particularly happy with the way things have turned out. Norwich under Hughton are less expansive than they were under Lambert, preferring a tighter formation and reliance on the creativity of their wingers to cut inside. Villa meanwhile… are Villa. If Lambert has tried to improve the way they football, he’s failed. Which is a bit surprising given he’s only using about three players who were there under the McCleish regime. A predictably tight draw left both teams looking over their shoulders at the wrong end of the table and wondering where the attacking football of yesteryears had gone. Perhaps if both managers just swapped jobs things would be better? Maybe not. But a long, hard and potentially very disinteresting season awaits both clubs. Oh well, maybe Delia can spice things up instead…

(the author is aware that this last entry is mildly patronising to Norwich)

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