Monday 8 August 2011

5 Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend:


1.  West Ham aren’t going to have it all their own way. 
On paper it looks like West Ham are well positioned to bounce straight back into the big time.  They’ve bought in the experienced and morbidly large head of Sam Allardyce and the far too good for the Championship Kevin Nolan, not to mention managed to retain most of their core squad from last season.  However, the Championship is a tough and unpredictable league and teams will love nothing more than coming to Upton Park and taking points.  So it proved on Sunday when an organised and resilient Cardiff side kept the Hammers at bay, before poaching a late winner via the talismanic figure of mediocrity that is Kenny Miller.  Given West Ham are about as loveable a football club as Rupert Murdoch is a person, I will personally be cheering every point dropped between now and May...

2.  Seaside’s are where the good football is played.
After Blackpool lit up the premier league last season, only time will tell if the likes of Norwich, QPR or (as is more likely) Swansea will approach their task in such an enjoyably swashbuckling way.  In the Championship however, Blackpool have been joined by Gus Poyet’s Brighton.  His team coming from a goal behind to win in the entertaining fashion that they made a habit of last season.  Whether there’s something in the sea air to suggest that coastal teams play with the shackles off and a casual disregard for defence is unclear; but with Southampton also winning with a degree of style all three clubs could do well in what is sure to be an impossibly hard to predict league as always.  And yes, I know Southampton isn’t really a seaside... but at least it’s not Portsmouth.  Or Hull...

3.  Can the Charity (sorry “Community”) Shield be a derby every year?
After a grand total of one good charity shield match in my lifetime, yesterday’s curtain raiser was played with the sort of zest and vigour that only a derby can provide.  Clearly neither team gave two hoots about winning the shield... but they cared deeply about beating the other and getting early season bragging rights.  Surely this can be arranged each year?  If the results don’t throw up a decent match up can’t we vote to just have a derby instead?  Spurs v Arsenal, Pool v Everton... hell... I’d rather watch Villa v Wolves than yet another toothless match up featuring Chelsea and... well anyone.

4.  Tom Cleverly is good enough to play for Man Utd.
Clearly one match is no basis to judge anything, but this could be the season that Tom Cleverly finally kicks on and shows the potential he’s had in his locker all along.  Superb in the Championship two years ago and playing well in a pretty terrible Wigan team last time around, Fergie has this time retained the youngster and for 45 minutes yesterday you could see why.  With the sort of movement and one touch passing that Michael “cocksucker” Carrick can only dream about, Cleverly and Anderson tore into City time and time again after the break, helping to create a marvellous 2nd goal that was worthy of any stage.  Clearly Utd still need a creative and experienced head to complete their squad, but yesterday’s 2nd half comeback with an average age of just 23 showed how bright the future might be after all.

5.  Do we really have to endure Gary Neville for an entire season?
Contrary to popular belief, Gary Neville doesn’t “polarise opinion” – most Man Utd fans hate him as well.  A fine servant and passionate supporter, Neville should be applauded for a terrific career in which he made mediocrity an art form.  Whilst he’s clearly a more intelligent footballer than Alan Shearer, Neville is crippled by his consistent desire to state opinions as if they are facts.  We all know he’s going to be a little bit biased, but you can’t just say “City have major problems, I look at Balotelli, I see nothing” without coming across like an angry rival fan.  His stunted banter with Redknapp is beyond awkward, both clearly suppressing the desire to slug it out between advert breaks... indeed the only thing they could agree on is their hatred of footballer of the moment Balotelli.  So, at the risk of sounding like an angry rival fan.  City have major problems... I look at Balotelli, I see nothing.  Except a c**t.

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