Jose hopes for second coming again
Jose only does second seasons apparently, and certainly on the strength of their opening performance, this looks a very different beast to the United we saw last time around. The two new signings being the most pivotal on the pitch in what was, eventually a 4-0 stroll against an ailing West Ham. Matic was the game’s best player. The Serbian dominated midfield with the sort of casual ease that must have made Chelsea fans turn away in shame. His interceptions, tackling and short passing key to creating time and space for the other midfielders to release the front 3. Lukaku, who scored the first two goals, was dominant and his pace and power allowing both Rashford and Mkhitaryan to go beyond him several times. This was a fluid United attacking unit that had barely been seen in years. Zlatan may have been king, but the aging Swede certainly couldn’t have picked the ball up on the half way line and burst past two players down the wing in the way that Lukaku did in the opening 10 minutes. The front three took a while to get going but once they did they tormented the West Ham back line. Rashford with pace, Lukaku with power and Mkhitaryan with guile. Last time Mourinho won the title he took a good, well organised squad and made it great with the addition of Fabregas and Costa. On the evidence of the opening 90 minutes here, he may well repeat the trick.
Jose only does second seasons apparently, and certainly on the strength of their opening performance, this looks a very different beast to the United we saw last time around. The two new signings being the most pivotal on the pitch in what was, eventually a 4-0 stroll against an ailing West Ham. Matic was the game’s best player. The Serbian dominated midfield with the sort of casual ease that must have made Chelsea fans turn away in shame. His interceptions, tackling and short passing key to creating time and space for the other midfielders to release the front 3. Lukaku, who scored the first two goals, was dominant and his pace and power allowing both Rashford and Mkhitaryan to go beyond him several times. This was a fluid United attacking unit that had barely been seen in years. Zlatan may have been king, but the aging Swede certainly couldn’t have picked the ball up on the half way line and burst past two players down the wing in the way that Lukaku did in the opening 10 minutes. The front three took a while to get going but once they did they tormented the West Ham back line. Rashford with pace, Lukaku with power and Mkhitaryan with guile. Last time Mourinho won the title he took a good, well organised squad and made it great with the addition of Fabregas and Costa. On the evidence of the opening 90 minutes here, he may well repeat the trick.
Pep purrs as City pour forward
Down on the South coast, the most compelling case against Jose’s second season syndrome was taking shape. Manchester City dispatched Brighton with two second half goals to open up their account with a well earned win. City never looked like losing this match and whilst their formation remains a work in progress, the amount of creativity and striking power they have at their disposal is genuinely frightening. Their bench cost more than Brighton have spent on transfers in their history. Sane, Sterling and Bernando Silva would be a front three that would finish in the top six on their own... and that’s what City have in reserve. Behind the wonderfully talented Jesus and Sergio “still got it, I never actually lost it” Aguero lies the scheming talents of David Silva and Kevin De Bruyne. Two players who could double up as professional locksmiths. There will be tougher tests ahead for both Manchester sides... but on the evidence of the new look attacks, and indeed defences who seem vaguely capable of actually going 90 minutes without conceding, they appear to be the teams to beat.
But seriously, who cares about titles... when you can just watch Liverpool & Arsenal
The first two games of the season saw an absurd 13 goals in displays of defensive incompetence not seen... since Liverpool & Arsenal played last season. Liverpool had clearly learnt nothing from the night before; that if you’re going to defend this terribly, you have to score at least 4 goals to actually win the match. Both clubs remain embroiled in “will they, won’t they” transfer sagas they could do without, but they certainly made no compelling case for their star players to stay and try and win the title with defending of this magnitude. Yes Liverpool have a front three that can be a blur of pace and movement. Yes Arsenal have a terrific looking new striker and the best substitute in the league. But does it really matter if you can’t defend a gently stroked ball into the box? If a long punt over the top feels you with blind panic? If you have the entire summer to buy someone and you decide that Alberto Moreno is actually your best left back? Or that Calum Chambers, a guy who played well in a back three all last season is not worth a place in your squad whilst you play your left back in the middle of it?
The first two games of the season saw an absurd 13 goals in displays of defensive incompetence not seen... since Liverpool & Arsenal played last season. Liverpool had clearly learnt nothing from the night before; that if you’re going to defend this terribly, you have to score at least 4 goals to actually win the match. Both clubs remain embroiled in “will they, won’t they” transfer sagas they could do without, but they certainly made no compelling case for their star players to stay and try and win the title with defending of this magnitude. Yes Liverpool have a front three that can be a blur of pace and movement. Yes Arsenal have a terrific looking new striker and the best substitute in the league. But does it really matter if you can’t defend a gently stroked ball into the box? If a long punt over the top feels you with blind panic? If you have the entire summer to buy someone and you decide that Alberto Moreno is actually your best left back? Or that Calum Chambers, a guy who played well in a back three all last season is not worth a place in your squad whilst you play your left back in the middle of it?
Klopp and Wenger will continue to make such awful decisions all season because they care only about one end of the football pitch. It might not win titles, and it might not win all the fans over. But it’s incredibly entertaining and long may it continue.
Shelvey undoes his team’s great work
I think we all know this won’t be the last time Jonjo Shelvey gets sent from a football pitch. The Newcastle captain gave the referee little choice with a cynical, but above all, utterly pointless step on the ankle of Dele Alli. His team were playing well, Spurs didn’t really look like scoring and he turned a very good performance into a miserable one; as everybody’s favourite almost team ran away with it thanks to the creative genius of the greatest Dane since Hamlet.
I think we all know this won’t be the last time Jonjo Shelvey gets sent from a football pitch. The Newcastle captain gave the referee little choice with a cynical, but above all, utterly pointless step on the ankle of Dele Alli. His team were playing well, Spurs didn’t really look like scoring and he turned a very good performance into a miserable one; as everybody’s favourite almost team ran away with it thanks to the creative genius of the greatest Dane since Hamlet.
Spurs still have work to do. Their squad is so thin it belongs in an After Eight box. Whilst they have done well to (largely) resist any offers to their key players, it is unthinkable what might happen should Eriksen, Kane or Alli have a prolonged period of time out. They got out of jail this time but their next match against Chelsea should be a lot tougher.
Or you know... maybe not.
Mounie & Mooy give Huddersfield hope
In order to stay in the league coming up from the Championship you need to be able to defend... and be able to score. Two basics of any successful football team, but essential when making the transition from one league to another. Huddersfield aren’t going to score as many goals as Liverpool or Arsenal, but on the basis of this weekend they might well concede less. They did a fine job taking care of a disorganised Palace and took their chances when they had them. In midfield they have a player who has the sort of love for a pass and dead ball that a Tory politician does for cuts to the poor. And up front a man who looks fit, focused and knows where the net is.
If this is beginning to sound like a who’s who of footballing cliches you’re probably right. But after one game, Mounie & Mooy have... oh my god I was about to put a rhyme in there then? Jumping for joy? Really? I’m better than that. Honest.
I don't know anything about Huddersfield town. Like, at all. They're the best team in Yorkshire now. Yorkshire? We almost won the Olympics and our best football team is Huddersfield town? Seriously...
Oh well.
I don't know anything about Huddersfield town. Like, at all. They're the best team in Yorkshire now. Yorkshire? We almost won the Olympics and our best football team is Huddersfield town? Seriously...
Oh well.
At least it's not fucking Leeds.
Team of the Weak:
Hart - Welcome back to Manchester Joe
Holding - More like holding on for dear life
Morgan - Battered, bruised and beaten by Giroud
Rudiger - The sort of debut that nightmares are made of
Matip - Made Moreno look good. It’s hard to live that down
Fabregas - Let his team down... and himself. In the naughty corner Cesc
Puncheon - Allegedly the captain of Crystal Palace
Shelvey - Just a bit of a tosser really
Barton - Didn’t actually play this weekend because he’s banned for 18 months. Just thought I’d remind everyone of that because it’s really funny
Benteke - As mobile as a dying elephant
Any striker who us unlucky enough to play upfront for Southampton - how many minutes is that at home without a goal now lads? 1000? It feels like a lifetime. Just put the ball in the net. Please. Anyone.
Goodnight.
https://twitter.com/HinduMonkey
It's good to have you back!
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