De Bruyne and Salah
continue to toil as Mourinho has last laugh
Bought by Manchester City and Liverpool for a combined total of some 90m, Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho continued to mock the ailing seasons of the two players he was “absolutely right” to let go when he was managing Chelsea. Coming up against his former club, De Bruyne was once again given a lesson in passing by new signing Tiemoue Bakayoko. The French midfielder continuing to post unheard of accuracy in the top flight, now standing at 99.5%. The Belgian was left unable to respond to Chelsea’s superior possession and dynamism, and was substituted once again just after the hour mark.
Bought by Manchester City and Liverpool for a combined total of some 90m, Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho continued to mock the ailing seasons of the two players he was “absolutely right” to let go when he was managing Chelsea. Coming up against his former club, De Bruyne was once again given a lesson in passing by new signing Tiemoue Bakayoko. The French midfielder continuing to post unheard of accuracy in the top flight, now standing at 99.5%. The Belgian was left unable to respond to Chelsea’s superior possession and dynamism, and was substituted once again just after the hour mark.
Over on Merseyside however, his troubles were put in to
perspective by the form of Mo Salah, who continues to wait for his debut goal
for his new club. As manager Jurgen Klopp promised he would “eventually score,
by accident if nothing else” the Egyptian once again missed 17 chances at home
to Burnley and missed a penalty that hit both posts before going in off the
luckless Nick Pope and thus going down as an own goal.
Meanwhile at Old Trafford, United continued their impressive
start to the season as Juan Mata used his electric pace to tear through the Brighton
back line, round the keeper and smash in the winner.
Watford’s defence
holds firm again
22 games into the season and the Hornets defence continued its impressive form with its 15th shutout of the season, a league record at this stage. Marco Silva has guided his team to 6th spot, mainly off the back of his defensive nous. Whilst critics may point to Watford’s attack being about “as fluent as dried cement” – this has been more than compensated by their form at the back.
22 games into the season and the Hornets defence continued its impressive form with its 15th shutout of the season, a league record at this stage. Marco Silva has guided his team to 6th spot, mainly off the back of his defensive nous. Whilst critics may point to Watford’s attack being about “as fluent as dried cement” – this has been more than compensated by their form at the back.
In goal, Heurelho Gomes lived up to his Octopus name by making
a save with all four of his key appendages during the match. In front of him, the
imperious Younes Kaboul continued his record of playing every minute of every
match, ever, and now leads the league for every key defensive metric available
from Opta.
A 1-0 victory thanks to a Tom Cleverly piledriver was only
marred by Greek full-back Jose Holebas getting booked for the first time in 3
years.
Ancelotti eyes title
for high flying Everton
After surprising everyone by choosing Everton as the next club to continue his managerial odyssey, Carlo Ancelotti has now guided the Toffees to a 10th successive league victory and seen them rise to 3rd in the table. The club sacked Ronald Koeman back in October for refusing to buy a striker and believing Wayne Rooney was still “just 22… and fully fit to lead the line.” Since then, Ancelotti, who left Munich because he was “bored of winning every week” admitted he wasn’t expecting to suffer from the same affliction at Everton. He has pioneered a 3-7-0 system has meant that all five of the “number 10s” that the club bought for around £300m in the summer can all be incorporated into a fluid, free flowing structure where they never get in each other’s way.
After surprising everyone by choosing Everton as the next club to continue his managerial odyssey, Carlo Ancelotti has now guided the Toffees to a 10th successive league victory and seen them rise to 3rd in the table. The club sacked Ronald Koeman back in October for refusing to buy a striker and believing Wayne Rooney was still “just 22… and fully fit to lead the line.” Since then, Ancelotti, who left Munich because he was “bored of winning every week” admitted he wasn’t expecting to suffer from the same affliction at Everton. He has pioneered a 3-7-0 system has meant that all five of the “number 10s” that the club bought for around £300m in the summer can all be incorporated into a fluid, free flowing structure where they never get in each other’s way.
Ancelotti, who continued his outspoken way of talking to the
British Media, said he was “as surprised as anyone” by the form of Davy
Klaassen. The Dutch international was instrumental in the 3-0 victory, scoring
his 17th and 18th goals of the season before a sublime
rabona created space for Icelandic bargain Gylfi Sigurdsson to bend in the 3rd.
“I’ll be honest,” added Ancelotti “I had seen Klaassen play
earlier in the season and thought he was a complete shit. But fair play to him…
he has proved me wrong.”
Saints attack
prospers again at St Mary’s
Southampton, managed by Mauricio Pellegrino, are fast making a name for themselves as the most entertaining side across Europe. Their 5-3 home victory to West Ham meant they have now been involved in a staggering 70 goals across their 12 home matches. The Argentinian coach, who claimed his philosophy is “attack, attack, attack” – said after the match that the St Mary’s crowd “are almost getting sick of goals flying in at both ends of the pitch.” He admitted that whilst it might be dramatic at times, sometimes he did wonder what it might be like to manage a team that was continuously beaten by the odd goal in a drab, tepid affair.
Southampton, managed by Mauricio Pellegrino, are fast making a name for themselves as the most entertaining side across Europe. Their 5-3 home victory to West Ham meant they have now been involved in a staggering 70 goals across their 12 home matches. The Argentinian coach, who claimed his philosophy is “attack, attack, attack” – said after the match that the St Mary’s crowd “are almost getting sick of goals flying in at both ends of the pitch.” He admitted that whilst it might be dramatic at times, sometimes he did wonder what it might be like to manage a team that was continuously beaten by the odd goal in a drab, tepid affair.
He said the teams’ success was “down to everyone working
together in a fluid, attacking unit;” but did single out Irish striker Shane
Long, who scored his third successive hat trick in the match to lead the
Premier League scoring charts by a clear 5 goals.
“Long just loves scoring” said Pellegrino. "People have asked
me what I’ve done to transform him but it turns out he only used to run around
like a headless chicken because he didn’t understand the rules of the game. Now
that I’ve told him the aim is to put the ball in the net, and not simply cover
the most ground in 90 minutes, he’s been a player re-born.
Managing is easy”
Arsenal fear
relegation as Wenger refuses to walk away
Languishing in 19th having won just four times
all season, Arsenal continued to stutter in what is turning out to be a genuine
horror show of a campaign. The Gunners went down 1-0 at home to Stoke after conceding
their 12th penalty of the season. Wenger spoke afterwards of “conspiracies”
and a “campaign against the club” but had no answer when quizzed on why his
team had a shot to goal ratio of 0.07% and why they thought Alexis Sanchez was
likely to play well when he continued to take the field in a manacle and chain
that only stretched as far as the centre circle.
“Sanchez is too important for Arsenal” said Wenger, when
asked to justify yet again why the Chilean’s chain meant he was physically unable
to enter the penalty area “he is going nowhere in January… or the Summer. He
has already signed a new contract, he just doesn’t know it yet.”
After the match there was another mass protest of 10,000
Arsenal fans shouting “Wenger In” in unison. When asked why they wished to
persist with a manager who had become such a specialist in failure that Oxford
were considering placing his picture next to the word in their visual
dictionary, a spokesman replied “look, we’ve been chanting Wenger Out for years
and it’s not made a blind bit of difference… so we’ve changed tact. Hopefully
this way the board might listen to us and you know… finally get rid of the
useless wanker.”
Happy New Year
