This weeks blog is delivered via a haze of sleepless nights, endless loops of frozen and the knowledge that no matter what I do, I cannot defeat my cat in fantasy football.
The Big Issue - What has happened to Liverpool?
There is both a short answer and a long answer to this question. The short one is a front three that delivered a near century of goals last season are injured, jaded or playing for Barcelona. But the long one is much more complex.
Liverpool aren’t just playing like a team who have lost their star strikers, they are playing like a team who have lost their identity again. Last season Rodgers didn’t just sweep away teams with fluent, attacking football. He consistently and expertly tactically out thought them. This season he has done that just once (away to Spurs) and the most damning thing about Liverpool’s season to date is that their league position actually flatters them. Gone is the pressing, gone is the passing football, gone is the confidence, gone are the fast counters and in have come slow, side to side football culminating in endless Steven Gerrard long passes.
Liverpool punched above their weight last season, but the gap between them and Chelsea is bordering on the ridiculous given they actually finished above them. The comparison is just because Chelsea have done exactly what Liverpool haven’t in the summer. They have brought in proven, experienced footballers who can sit seamlessly into a squad competing on all fronts. Rodgers transfer policy appears to be a mixture of total punts. It’s hard not to admire his desire to take rough diamonds and try and polish them, but so far this tactic has worked solely on Daniel Sturridge (although he has improved greatly both Henderson and Sterling). Losing Suarez meant Liverpool HAD to go out and buy big. They had Champions League football and one of the biggest names in the world. Instead they failed to buy a single player who significantly improved their first XI from last season.
The defence remains shocking. Has Rodgers considered that the problem isn’t the players AROUND Skertel and Mignolet but those players themselves? Neither inspire any confidence and are prone to at least one total howler a match. Carragher and Agger were a better partnership two years ago. The isolation of Lucas, as a genuine player who can actually protect the defence, remains a mystery. Steven Gerrard is not a holding midfielder. He is an attacking midfielder who can no longer run. Ahead of him none of the new signings from Lallana through to Markovic have done anything and the cherry on the cake is Mario Balotelli. Having already cost two managers their jobs in his fledgling career the Italian is well on course to claim a third. It would be worth all the sulking and lack of effort if Mario was genuine world class. But he isn’t. He’s a player who is now 24 and, if you remove penalties, has scored just 63 goals in 233 club games. He isn’t the only reason Liverpool are failing this season, but he symbolises how far they have plummeted in so short a space of time.
Getting 4th would be a major achievement for this squad. Thanks to the desperate plight of others it’s still not beyond them. But Rodgers needs to find his mojo again and fast. Real Madrid and Chelsea up next. It’s probably best to go and hide for a week Scousers...
Stat of the Week:
Liverpool and Manchester United have 27 points between them so far this season. Chelsea have 26 on their own.
Stat of the Week II:
Not one single Premier League match featured more than 3 goals. The first time this has happened since records began. Or last season, depending on what you want to believe.
Manager of the Weekend:
Ronald Koeman - I’m considering retiring this award until Southampton lose a game. They’ve even managed to get the play badly and win match out of the way now. Saints for 2nd? Maybe not. Saints for 4th? If they can keep that front four fit then yes.
Enigma of the Weekend:
Romelu Lukaku - He’s still young and has time to sharpen his game. But few players possess the ability to be quite so unplayable one minute and completely useless the next. Lukaku is 10/10 one week and 2/10 the week after. Mutating from a powerful, fast centre forward one minute to a lumbering clown with the touch of an Electric Eel the next. He was only on the pitch for twenty minutes this weekend but still managed to miss three gilt edge chances, one of which literally just hit him. Everton fans must be hoping for a run of 8/10 performances rather than this erratic, never know what you’re going to get approach to the game. I mean, don’t make me bring up Nani.
Fantasy Football disaster of the Weekend:
Captaining Benteke for a differential. Or re-jigging your entire side to get Costa back in whilst completely ignoring Alexis Sanchez...
Quote of the Weekend:
From any Man Utd player/coach “We were the better team and created enough chances to win.”
Who cares? You didn’t. You’ve won three times in eleven matches. Three! Man up and put the fucking ball in the net.
Team of the Weak:
Jakupovic - Gave away a goal in the first few minutes with a terrible kick and then sat and watched as Saints played it around the park without bothering trying to shoot again “for a laugh.”
Moreno - Showed the tracking ability of a lame elephant to lose his marker in a three yard race with a two yard head start,
Smalling - A total waste of space, an embarrassment to the club and should be stripped naked in the middle of manchester and be told to find his own way home. Or ideally abroad.
Rojo - A mirage of a World Cup finalist. Should have conceded a stone wall penalty and got sent off. Didn’t, played appallingly, finally got injured and watched as a child did much, much better than him.
Pieters - Offered little going forward and then watched idly as Stewart Downing destroyed him. Stewart. Downing. Write that on your tombstone mate.
Gerrard - Attempted 2,376 passes from the edge of his box to the edge of opposition box. Once seen in other half of the pitch in open play, but turned out to be Joe Allen. Snap him up City.
Cambiasso - Horrible own goal that he could do nothing about, but has not managed to stamp his authority on a midfield that has actually looked worse since he started playing in it.
Huddlestone - Looked like he was still playing for Spurs. Damning.
Eriksen - Created nothing, got booked, hauled off, looked pretty.
Benteke - Can’t buy a goal. Helps himself to a red instead. Bravo.
Van Persie - Playing as a lone striker when he cannot hold the ball up or run. LVG is a genius! Hail maestro!
What you may have missed:
Chelsea collecting their Premier League winners medals before kick off. Cesc Fabregas collecting his player of the year award shortly after. Newcastle fans performing a dramatic U-turn over their manager based on that mythical currency known as results. Jonjo Shelvey getting in a scuffle with Everton fans outside the ground. Chuck Norris being 74 (seventy four) years old. Hull buying all those creative players on deadline day and allowing one of them to play per match. West Brom being level on points with Manchester United. 99% of the audience of Match of the Day yelling "Oh Fuck Off Shearer" at some stage of the broadcast. Big Sam just treating this whole “attacking football” lark as a compete laugh and Aston Villa losing again to a Spurs team who literally just do not give a shit if they win football matches.
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