1. Loftus Road was the place to be
The game of the week was served up not at Old Trafford, Anfield or White Hart Lane, but at the home of Queens Park Rangers who hosted their promoted cousins and now relegation rivals, Leicester City. A five goal thriller which had the usual ingredients of a classic. Superb goals, comical own goals, end to end stuff, fluent attacking football, hopeless defending, copious bookings and fine saves. All it lacked was a red card. These clubs have gone in different directions since that fateful victory over Manchester United. Rangers have grown into the league and whilst still in the relegation zone, a winter fixture list which is considerably easier than the Autumn one they were given, should enable them to slowly climb a compact table. Leicester on the other hand, have just 2 points from a possible 24 since thumping United. They have plummeted to the bottom of the table, look clueless at the back and lack organisation and hope. Pulis has already been mentioned. It’s that sort of league...
2. LVG is finally starting to stamp his authority
Despite the sight of Angel Di Maria clutching his hamstring and departing the field the 41st United player injured this season, things are finally starting to look up under Louis Van Gaal. Back to back victories are always welcome but it was the manner of the performance here that impressed. For the first time this season United played like the team we had got used to under the Ferguson era. They pressed, harried but above all controlled and dominated possession and launched waves of attacks upon Hull’s fragile defence. Far from the finished article, any team that includes Chris Smalling looks vulnerable and the decision to go into the season with two, injury prone specialist full backs and a shed load of wingers as cover always looked suspect. But this was much more like it. For the first time in 18th months the prospect of 4th looked vaguely likely rather than a pipe dream.
3. West Ham won
I’m contractually obliged to do at least one article per team per season so here is my token nod to West Ham. They won. They didn’t concede. The match was turgid other than an hilarious red card. Their two main strikers were injured though and they have a £35m donkey up front again. Yawn this is so boring. Let’s liven it up by quoting from the website of David Gold, their chairman, instead. Which is written entirely in the third person. By himself.
“With his great acumen, there was nothing Gold wouldn’t do for success”
Really David, nothing?
“Keen for others not to benefit from flying him around Europe, Gold Air International was set up, chartering jet travel to the rich and the famous”
What? You total prick.
“David won the Gozo Beacon in 1979”
This is what it’s all about right here.
“The publishing of Gold’s book, “Solid Gold” won a significant personal battle over his despised father”
Moving on...
4. Saints finally humbled
Southampton’s superb run finally ended today as City rocked up, got a man sent off and then proceeded to batter them during a second half which was pretty much the equivalent of spanking someone for getting too big for their boots. Ya Ya Toure’s form seems finally to have come to life in time for the long Winter and up front, the imperious Sergio Aguero continues to border on the unplayable. He should have had another hat trick here, but was denied by the referee, Fraser Forster and finally himself by falling over. He had to settle then, for two well crafted assists that helped his team back up to second in the table and likely to remain in a futile, cyclical weekly loop where they will find themselves never, ever catching Chelsea. As for Saints, chin up, it’s Arsenal next. And anyone can score against them.
Well, except West Brom apparently.
Team of the Weak:
McGregor - Didn’t inspire confidence in the defence. Probably because there was none.
Morgan - Own goal, average rearguard performance, I can’t spell the name of the bloke who plays along side him. But...
Him - You get the picture. Wazialiwsi? Wasikwillie? Passamaquoddy?
Chiriches - A sham of a defender, let alone a right back. Somehow finished on the winning team.
Yoshida - Came on at half time for Schneiderlin and was torn apart.
Tadic - Early season promise has faded into passing the ball six yards and then standing still, or over hitting crosses into the keeper.
Matic - Never really got to grips with the absolute force of nature that is Lee Catermole. Booked for cynical foul.
Sissoko - In fairness to the lad, if you’re gonna kick the ball away on the way to a red card, REALLY kick it away. You go mate.
Arnautovic - Showed great promise last season and looked a shrewd signing. Now is worse than Charlie Adam. Without the ability to strike a dead ball. Or eat pies.
Costa - Should have been sent off, misses the next match, caused people captaining him at fantasy football to swear, kick and probably cry.
Pelle - Hasn’t scored in five league games and looks like he’s permanently carrying a knock. Might just need a break.
What you may have missed:
The fifth point in this blog, a thrilling midlands Derby at Turf Moor, Paul Ince wearing what appeared to be a glittering cardigan on Match of the Day, Liverpool actually not conceding a goal, Diego Costa not getting sent off trying to drop kick John O’Shea in the head, Lee Catermole outplaying Cesc Fabregas, Liverpool actually not conceding a goal, Spurs winning after a Europa league match, Arsenal not conceding a goal on the counter attack and I know I’ve said it twice now but one more time... I mean fuck me folks... Liverpool actually kept a clean fucking sheet.
And fucking Glen Johnson scored! I mean whatever next!? Spurs finish 4th and DON’T sack a manager midseason? Come on now...
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