Leicester just keep giving
On a marvelous Sunday afternoon of attacking, physical football - Leicester and West Ham shared the spoils in a match laced with drama and incident. At times it’s hard not to believe that there is something divine helping Leicester to this title, be it lady luck, god, the ghost of Richard III or an extremely powerful drug that is about to wear off. They should have been behind after two minutes as the King Power Stadium fell in to a near deathly, slow motion silence after a header hit both posts before trickling into the keeper’s arms. They then took the lead through the man of the moment Jamie Vardy, a ruthless finish following typically excellent build up work from Mahrez and Kante. But the game turned in the second half when the Yorkshireman was sent packing for what was, let’s be frank, an appalling dive. Having already been booked one wonders what was going through his head as he contrived to win his 74th penalty of the season. Vardy has always tread a thin line between brilliance and provocative but he deserved to be sent off here and his team will hope his decision to call the ref a “fucking cunt” to his face upon leaving won’t face further repercussions. West Ham piled on the pressure and scored two quick goals to claim the inevitable 3 points. Except this is Leicester, and they just don’t lose football matches (except to Arsenal). 94 minutes had all but elapsed when the referee did point to the spot and award the Foxes a last gasp chance to share the spoils. If it was a soft decision, there had been a stone wall appeal turned down five minutes before and a draw was a fair result overall. 3rd choice striker and penalty taker, Leonardo Ulloa slammed in the spot kick and the Foxes pulled further away from Spurs before they play Stoke tomorrow night. Was this 2 points lost or 1 gained? Give the situation and the late drama of the winner, it felt like the second. Only momentum will slow this team down, and as they head to a home match with mid table Swansea, it felt like it was still only going one way.
On a marvelous Sunday afternoon of attacking, physical football - Leicester and West Ham shared the spoils in a match laced with drama and incident. At times it’s hard not to believe that there is something divine helping Leicester to this title, be it lady luck, god, the ghost of Richard III or an extremely powerful drug that is about to wear off. They should have been behind after two minutes as the King Power Stadium fell in to a near deathly, slow motion silence after a header hit both posts before trickling into the keeper’s arms. They then took the lead through the man of the moment Jamie Vardy, a ruthless finish following typically excellent build up work from Mahrez and Kante. But the game turned in the second half when the Yorkshireman was sent packing for what was, let’s be frank, an appalling dive. Having already been booked one wonders what was going through his head as he contrived to win his 74th penalty of the season. Vardy has always tread a thin line between brilliance and provocative but he deserved to be sent off here and his team will hope his decision to call the ref a “fucking cunt” to his face upon leaving won’t face further repercussions. West Ham piled on the pressure and scored two quick goals to claim the inevitable 3 points. Except this is Leicester, and they just don’t lose football matches (except to Arsenal). 94 minutes had all but elapsed when the referee did point to the spot and award the Foxes a last gasp chance to share the spoils. If it was a soft decision, there had been a stone wall appeal turned down five minutes before and a draw was a fair result overall. 3rd choice striker and penalty taker, Leonardo Ulloa slammed in the spot kick and the Foxes pulled further away from Spurs before they play Stoke tomorrow night. Was this 2 points lost or 1 gained? Give the situation and the late drama of the winner, it felt like the second. Only momentum will slow this team down, and as they head to a home match with mid table Swansea, it felt like it was still only going one way.
It’s time to take the Arsene out of Arsenal
It’s hard to think of a more Arsenal performance than this. Dear fucking god how was this game a 1 all draw? Arsenal passed and probed and created chance after chance after chance and couldn’t add to Alexis Sanchez’ first half header. It was almost inevitable that Palace were going to score. It wasn’t even a good goal. A speculative try from distance that squirmed under the keeper. Still Arsenal had chances. Still they couldn’t score. Sanchez had eleven attempts and hit the target once. I mean, I know being captained by me at fantasy football must feel like having a ball and chain tied around your leg but come on. Even Giroud couldn’t score!? Oh no wait, that’s not a genuine point. Let’s move on.
It’s hard to think of a more Arsenal performance than this. Dear fucking god how was this game a 1 all draw? Arsenal passed and probed and created chance after chance after chance and couldn’t add to Alexis Sanchez’ first half header. It was almost inevitable that Palace were going to score. It wasn’t even a good goal. A speculative try from distance that squirmed under the keeper. Still Arsenal had chances. Still they couldn’t score. Sanchez had eleven attempts and hit the target once. I mean, I know being captained by me at fantasy football must feel like having a ball and chain tied around your leg but come on. Even Giroud couldn’t score!? Oh no wait, that’s not a genuine point. Let’s move on.
Nothing at Old Trafford will be missed
The worst team in the league this season were beaten by the worst attacking Manchester United team in history. 1 nil, from about four shots, in a game so spectacularly uninspiring I would have rather listened to Jeremy Hunt defend the Junior Doctor contract by saying the same line over... and over... and over... and over again than endure it for another 90 minutes. There were just three positives from that match. One, Villa won’t be in the Premier League for a long, long time. Two, United fans surely, surely, surely won’t have to endure Louis Van Gaal for more than 6 or 7 more matches. Three, Marcus Rashford - who is a real talent and deserves his chance to be playing regular football at a club at this level.
The worst team in the league this season were beaten by the worst attacking Manchester United team in history. 1 nil, from about four shots, in a game so spectacularly uninspiring I would have rather listened to Jeremy Hunt defend the Junior Doctor contract by saying the same line over... and over... and over... and over again than endure it for another 90 minutes. There were just three positives from that match. One, Villa won’t be in the Premier League for a long, long time. Two, United fans surely, surely, surely won’t have to endure Louis Van Gaal for more than 6 or 7 more matches. Three, Marcus Rashford - who is a real talent and deserves his chance to be playing regular football at a club at this level.
The North East just woke up
Look Newcastle and Sunderland, I’m not having you do this to me again. Letting me think all season you’re going to be relegated and then pulling it out of the back at the death. You see here’s the rub, this time at least one of you HAS to go down. You’re not catching Palace or Swansea, it’s two from three and even if you take poor, provincial Norwich with you one of you is still destined to be in the Championship and replaced by er... another team from the North East. Really? Oh for fu...
Look Newcastle and Sunderland, I’m not having you do this to me again. Letting me think all season you’re going to be relegated and then pulling it out of the back at the death. You see here’s the rub, this time at least one of you HAS to go down. You’re not catching Palace or Swansea, it’s two from three and even if you take poor, provincial Norwich with you one of you is still destined to be in the Championship and replaced by er... another team from the North East. Really? Oh for fu...
Seasons really do need to be judged after the last ball is kicked
Of the four FA Cup finalist, only Watford can probably be proud of their season’s work. Thanks to an improbably double penalty save from Gomes, the Hornets lie in mid-table, safe from relegation and free to enjoy the party for another year. Everton have frustrated their fans with defensive lapses, United have bored them with attacking ineptitude and Palace started well before going on an Alan Pardew trademarked twenty game run of filth. But if any of those three teams win the FA Cup will managers be forgiven? Palace are surely now safe and were never going to get in to the top six. So winning the FA Cup will surely be a hugely successful season. Likewise Everton. Yes they have a squad capable of a top six push but not a top four one. As a fan I’d prefer a Wembley final victory than another 6th place finish and a draining Europa campaign. And United? Well no. Given who’s left a club of their supposed stature (you know, bigger than Spurs Louis) should probably be winning it and not drifting around the edges of the top four all season. But it would at least give the fans a moment to smile again and believe in the future.
Of the four FA Cup finalist, only Watford can probably be proud of their season’s work. Thanks to an improbably double penalty save from Gomes, the Hornets lie in mid-table, safe from relegation and free to enjoy the party for another year. Everton have frustrated their fans with defensive lapses, United have bored them with attacking ineptitude and Palace started well before going on an Alan Pardew trademarked twenty game run of filth. But if any of those three teams win the FA Cup will managers be forgiven? Palace are surely now safe and were never going to get in to the top six. So winning the FA Cup will surely be a hugely successful season. Likewise Everton. Yes they have a squad capable of a top six push but not a top four one. As a fan I’d prefer a Wembley final victory than another 6th place finish and a draining Europa campaign. And United? Well no. Given who’s left a club of their supposed stature (you know, bigger than Spurs Louis) should probably be winning it and not drifting around the edges of the top four all season. But it would at least give the fans a moment to smile again and believe in the future.
Basically there is a lot of football still to played people. Over to you Spurs...
Team of the Weak
Courtois - Has escaped criticism this year but has been utterly garbage. Was on a par with David De Gea two years ago. Now on a par with Rob Green.
Antonio - A fine player, but not a right back, and I’m not sure why his manager seems to think he now is.
Ivanovic - Graeme Souness picked him as his first defender in the team of the season. What. A. Plonker.
Olsson - Battered at home to your relegation rivals. Never good.
Lescott - It’s okay now mate, all that weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
Montero - Do you remember him? He was AMAZING. For the first four games of the season.
Gibson - I feel that Darron Gibson always gets forgotten about when we talk about injury prone football players. He’s also banned from driving for hitting a cyclist when pissed. So he’s probably a prick.
Depay - Take a look at Mahrez Memphis. Take a look at Rashford. Take a fucking look at yourself.
Milner - Brought in to my fantasy football team. Didn’t play. That’s just not cool James. Not cool at all.
Sanchez - I’m sorry Alexis, but you can’t miss that many chances and not get in here. I mean, you stood on a ball from six yards, missed an open goal with a header and scuffed one wide from ten yards when unmarked. I’m pretty sure the one you scored came off your shoulder as well...
Rooney - Captaining an England team for no reason this summer.
Antonio - A fine player, but not a right back, and I’m not sure why his manager seems to think he now is.
Ivanovic - Graeme Souness picked him as his first defender in the team of the season. What. A. Plonker.
Olsson - Battered at home to your relegation rivals. Never good.
Lescott - It’s okay now mate, all that weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
Montero - Do you remember him? He was AMAZING. For the first four games of the season.
Gibson - I feel that Darron Gibson always gets forgotten about when we talk about injury prone football players. He’s also banned from driving for hitting a cyclist when pissed. So he’s probably a prick.
Depay - Take a look at Mahrez Memphis. Take a look at Rashford. Take a fucking look at yourself.
Milner - Brought in to my fantasy football team. Didn’t play. That’s just not cool James. Not cool at all.
Sanchez - I’m sorry Alexis, but you can’t miss that many chances and not get in here. I mean, you stood on a ball from six yards, missed an open goal with a header and scuffed one wide from ten yards when unmarked. I’m pretty sure the one you scored came off your shoulder as well...
Rooney - Captaining an England team for no reason this summer.
What you may have missed
Steve Davis retiring from the snooker. The greatest gentleman to ever pick up a cue.
Steve Davis retiring from the snooker. The greatest gentleman to ever pick up a cue.
That is all.
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