It’s even grimmer t’up north than ever
Winless in August, winless in September. After seven games you could add the points of Sunderland and Newcastle together, and they’d STILL be in the relegation zone. As the grim reaper of premier league managers glides ominously across the the country from London to Birmingham to Merseyside, he has now set up permanent residence in the North East ready to claim his next victim and carry them back to the purgatory of mid table European sides or League one hopefuls. Newcastle, knocked out of the League Cup by Sheffield Wednesday in midweek, at least rallied this weekend to show some fight against Chelsea. Denied a victory by a flighted free kick that eluded everyone to go in (also, the only type of goal that Willian is now allowed to score). Sunderland meanwhile are in desperate, desperate trouble. Put to the sword by a third gear Manchester United on Saturday, it’s impossible to see where there next win will come from. They don’t score, they can’t keep a clean sheet and they have a manager who never really wanted to be there in the first place. Next week the two can look forward to playing the teams currently sitting in 2nd and 3rd, before they set themselves for the Tyne & Wear derby on October 24th. Something surely has to give then, but as Watford, Bournemouth and Norwich show them both how to defend, entertain and score respectively, it’s hard to make a case for either side going on a run to pull themselves from the mire just yet.
Injuries define seasons as much as form and tactics
When people ask me who I think will win the league, I normally respond with a caveat centered around what luck any respective team will get with injuries. Chelsea last year for example, managed to complete the season with their first choice back 5 having played virtually every game. You can’t buy or coach that, you just need a little luck, and probably not to sack your club doctor for being a woman. Arsenal by contrast, haven’t just not won the league for a decade because of Wenger’s stubbornness to buy a striker or a 9 year quest for a plan B. No, they keep failing because each and every season over half their team seems to get struck down by awful injuries. Indeed, Walcott, Wilshire and the Ox have had more days out injured in the last two years than Chelsea’s ENTIRE squad. Man City, imperious for four games, have now lost three matches in a row without their chief creator David Silva and captain Vincent Kompany. United have lost the best young left back in the country for the season, and yesterday the sight of Calum Wilson leaving the field with an injury that could keep him out for months will leave Cherries’ fans sick in the stomach of how much their survival chances will now be hampered. Would Hull have stayed up had Robert Snodgrass not been injured in the first few minutes of last season? Would Arsenal have won the title and dominated for years had Eduardo never had his leg broken? These are questions we don’t know the answer to, but what we do know is that no team ever wins the title without keeping their core assets on the pitch for the vast majority of the time. As City have already proved, calling a title race after 5 games is utterly absurd. Even the best teams are just a couple of key injuries away from disaster.
When people ask me who I think will win the league, I normally respond with a caveat centered around what luck any respective team will get with injuries. Chelsea last year for example, managed to complete the season with their first choice back 5 having played virtually every game. You can’t buy or coach that, you just need a little luck, and probably not to sack your club doctor for being a woman. Arsenal by contrast, haven’t just not won the league for a decade because of Wenger’s stubbornness to buy a striker or a 9 year quest for a plan B. No, they keep failing because each and every season over half their team seems to get struck down by awful injuries. Indeed, Walcott, Wilshire and the Ox have had more days out injured in the last two years than Chelsea’s ENTIRE squad. Man City, imperious for four games, have now lost three matches in a row without their chief creator David Silva and captain Vincent Kompany. United have lost the best young left back in the country for the season, and yesterday the sight of Calum Wilson leaving the field with an injury that could keep him out for months will leave Cherries’ fans sick in the stomach of how much their survival chances will now be hampered. Would Hull have stayed up had Robert Snodgrass not been injured in the first few minutes of last season? Would Arsenal have won the title and dominated for years had Eduardo never had his leg broken? These are questions we don’t know the answer to, but what we do know is that no team ever wins the title without keeping their core assets on the pitch for the vast majority of the time. As City have already proved, calling a title race after 5 games is utterly absurd. Even the best teams are just a couple of key injuries away from disaster.
We’ve been asking the wrong question about Martial
After four games, four goals and performances laced with verve and purpose, the question isn’t why United payed £36m for a teenager who had barely played, but why he had barely played to begin with. Martial already looks like one of those teenagers who is 19 going on 30. He plays with his head up, reads the game well and seems to not even remotely bothered by all the hype going on around him. His reaction to scoring is as if it was expected, rather than to be celebrated. Like a slightly more animated version of Mario Balotelli’s famous “does the postman celebrate when he delivers the mail” line. The price is almost irrelevant to United, so the question was always going to be could Martial give United what they were missing in the final third? So far that question has been answered resoundingly with United having cut loose to score 12 goals in four domestic games since he joined. A front three of Martial, Memphis and Mata suddenly seems like a deadly combination of pace, trickery and creativity with Rooney pulling the strings behind like an aging headmaster who still wants to sit at the kids table. Indeed, with De Gea restored and United having employed an ominously strong rotating shield of defensive midfielders, Rooney continues to look like the odd man out in a youthful and well drilled side. United sit on top of the table after 7 games, of which they’ve looked impressive for probably just 2. But if they are to go further this year and stay there come May, easing his captain out of the side might just be the best thing Van Gaal can do for the club.
After four games, four goals and performances laced with verve and purpose, the question isn’t why United payed £36m for a teenager who had barely played, but why he had barely played to begin with. Martial already looks like one of those teenagers who is 19 going on 30. He plays with his head up, reads the game well and seems to not even remotely bothered by all the hype going on around him. His reaction to scoring is as if it was expected, rather than to be celebrated. Like a slightly more animated version of Mario Balotelli’s famous “does the postman celebrate when he delivers the mail” line. The price is almost irrelevant to United, so the question was always going to be could Martial give United what they were missing in the final third? So far that question has been answered resoundingly with United having cut loose to score 12 goals in four domestic games since he joined. A front three of Martial, Memphis and Mata suddenly seems like a deadly combination of pace, trickery and creativity with Rooney pulling the strings behind like an aging headmaster who still wants to sit at the kids table. Indeed, with De Gea restored and United having employed an ominously strong rotating shield of defensive midfielders, Rooney continues to look like the odd man out in a youthful and well drilled side. United sit on top of the table after 7 games, of which they’ve looked impressive for probably just 2. But if they are to go further this year and stay there come May, easing his captain out of the side might just be the best thing Van Gaal can do for the club.
Why was nobody else in for Payet?
Costing a little over £10m, Dimitri Payet has wasted no time in adapting to life in the Premier League and has helped elevate West Ham to the lofty heights of third in the table. His record in the French league has been imperious over the past three seasons. Indeed he has scored over 20 times and created some 40 more goals in that period. Last year, he led the league for assists and nobody in European football made more through balls bar Lionel Messi. So why on earth was nobody else in for him when Bilic swooped in the summer? Chelsea, to name but one team, are crying out for a number 10 to take the strain off the fatigued Oscar and the increasingly erratic Fabregas. Spurs have Eriksen in that role, but beyond that nothing and Payet would have been a more than adequate step up on the guileless Nacer Chadli. Roberto Martinez bemoaned the lack of available players who fitted Payet’s description the entire transfer window. Those club’s loss is West Ham’s gain. Payet has been their best player so far as they have won away at Arsenal, City and Liverpool. If he can keep them ticking over, a European place is far from out of reach.
Costing a little over £10m, Dimitri Payet has wasted no time in adapting to life in the Premier League and has helped elevate West Ham to the lofty heights of third in the table. His record in the French league has been imperious over the past three seasons. Indeed he has scored over 20 times and created some 40 more goals in that period. Last year, he led the league for assists and nobody in European football made more through balls bar Lionel Messi. So why on earth was nobody else in for him when Bilic swooped in the summer? Chelsea, to name but one team, are crying out for a number 10 to take the strain off the fatigued Oscar and the increasingly erratic Fabregas. Spurs have Eriksen in that role, but beyond that nothing and Payet would have been a more than adequate step up on the guileless Nacer Chadli. Roberto Martinez bemoaned the lack of available players who fitted Payet’s description the entire transfer window. Those club’s loss is West Ham’s gain. Payet has been their best player so far as they have won away at Arsenal, City and Liverpool. If he can keep them ticking over, a European place is far from out of reach.
Jamie Vardy would get in any squad in the country
You probably laughed at that line didn’t you? I mean, this is Jamie Vardy, a guy playing non league football but a few seasons ago and a man so rough around the edges he could be carved in gravel. But look beyond that you see a footballer with a work rate higher than the entire Manchester City squad. A striker who is not only the leading scorer so far this season, but one who is unselfish and plays only for his team and not himself. Vardy creates goals, scores goals and even stops them. You cannot watch Leicester without being drawn to his energetic presence. He gives opposition defenders not a single moment of peace for 90 minutes and has the end product to back it up. Vardy may be 28, but being such a late starter to the rigors of top flight football has meant his career still has years ahead of him. He plays with the abandonment of a 16 year old and even though Leicester lost this weekend, he was the stand out player along with Alexis Sanchez. He is, right now, a better forward than Theo Walcott, Wilfried Bony, Wayne Rooney, Danny Ings and Radamel Falcao. Every fan, of every club, should want him at their club.
You probably laughed at that line didn’t you? I mean, this is Jamie Vardy, a guy playing non league football but a few seasons ago and a man so rough around the edges he could be carved in gravel. But look beyond that you see a footballer with a work rate higher than the entire Manchester City squad. A striker who is not only the leading scorer so far this season, but one who is unselfish and plays only for his team and not himself. Vardy creates goals, scores goals and even stops them. You cannot watch Leicester without being drawn to his energetic presence. He gives opposition defenders not a single moment of peace for 90 minutes and has the end product to back it up. Vardy may be 28, but being such a late starter to the rigors of top flight football has meant his career still has years ahead of him. He plays with the abandonment of a 16 year old and even though Leicester lost this weekend, he was the stand out player along with Alexis Sanchez. He is, right now, a better forward than Theo Walcott, Wilfried Bony, Wayne Rooney, Danny Ings and Radamel Falcao. Every fan, of every club, should want him at their club.
Team of the Weak
(not to be confused with Garth Crooks‘ team of the week. A man who wouldn’t know an actual formation if hit him in the face, and who steadfastly refuses to pick defenders who keep clean sheets.)
(not to be confused with Garth Crooks‘ team of the week. A man who wouldn’t know an actual formation if hit him in the face, and who steadfastly refuses to pick defenders who keep clean sheets.)
Caballero - A back up keeper for a reason. Cabellero spilled, flapped and blundered his way through 90 minutes and left with his manager praying Joe Hart never, ever gets injured again.
Kaboul - WHY PEOPLE WHY!!!?
Olsson - It’s a good job Norwich can score, because they sure as hell can’t defend. O’Neill needs to find a combination of defenders that can keep some clean sheets and fast if their thus far entertaining start to the division isn’t going to be a short lived one.
Sagna - This was the Sagna of big Arsenal away games again, rather than the one who has done so brilliantly to date this season. Over hit crosses, mis-timed tackles and a general sense of not really knowing what is going on.
Johnson - Stoke used to have a good record at the back. Then their captain got injured, and they signed Glen Johnson.
Coutinho - Inexplicably in Garth Crooks team of the week, it really is now getting incredible how bad Phil is at shooting. He has had more shots than any player in the league. Hell, he has had more shots than most entire TEAMS in the league. 18 in the last two matches alone, many of them clear cut. Zero goals. Thanks for coming.
Sterling - Cut from the same shooting cloth as the above, Sterling isn’t just at Man City to run into corners and create space for real players. No wait, that is what he’s there for. My mistake. £50m. Ka-ching!
Juarado - Watford’s great play-maker has yet to score this season. And has created nothing since the opening game. They need him to start firing and fast.
Ayew - Has completely gone off the boil, along with the entire Swansea side after such an impressive start. No goals in three for the whole team now, and Ayew is floundering.
Aguero - Not entirely sure what has happened to Aguero this season. Imperious for his country during the international break, he has come back and continued to fire blanks for his club. Looks a yard off and badly needs a couple of goals to kick-start his season.
Remy - Just could not give a toss.
Sagna - This was the Sagna of big Arsenal away games again, rather than the one who has done so brilliantly to date this season. Over hit crosses, mis-timed tackles and a general sense of not really knowing what is going on.
Johnson - Stoke used to have a good record at the back. Then their captain got injured, and they signed Glen Johnson.
Coutinho - Inexplicably in Garth Crooks team of the week, it really is now getting incredible how bad Phil is at shooting. He has had more shots than any player in the league. Hell, he has had more shots than most entire TEAMS in the league. 18 in the last two matches alone, many of them clear cut. Zero goals. Thanks for coming.
Sterling - Cut from the same shooting cloth as the above, Sterling isn’t just at Man City to run into corners and create space for real players. No wait, that is what he’s there for. My mistake. £50m. Ka-ching!
Juarado - Watford’s great play-maker has yet to score this season. And has created nothing since the opening game. They need him to start firing and fast.
Ayew - Has completely gone off the boil, along with the entire Swansea side after such an impressive start. No goals in three for the whole team now, and Ayew is floundering.
Aguero - Not entirely sure what has happened to Aguero this season. Imperious for his country during the international break, he has come back and continued to fire blanks for his club. Looks a yard off and badly needs a couple of goals to kick-start his season.
Remy - Just could not give a toss.
What you may have missed
Chelsea in 15th having won two games all season and looking absolutely awful. Nothing else matters really. They literally can only win games by cheating now. Hail Jose!
Chelsea in 15th having won two games all season and looking absolutely awful. Nothing else matters really. They literally can only win games by cheating now. Hail Jose!
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