Crash! Bang! Wallop! What a Weekend
The Shocks Digested:
After four weeks of average to solid fare, the Premier League exploded to life this weekend with a set of results that defied reason and with an entertainment factor that went right up to 11. 31 goals, red cards, wonder strikes, high end drama... none of this was seen at Turf Moor. But the other 9 games all served up more shocks than a 70s mental hospital.
Here were the top 5:
QPR 2 - Stoke 2. Having scored just three goals between them so far, QPR and Stoke served up an end to end feast with late drama to boot. And Mark Hughes escaped alive.
Everton 2 - Crystal Palace 3. Palace hadn’t won a game yet and Neil Warnock’s side have been playing with the handbrake off since replacing the irreplaceable, yet defensive Tony Pulis. The former Blades boss looks like he plans to enjoy his final fling with the Premier League. Meanwhile, Everton look great going forward and terrible at the back. Something which they are far from alone in...
Newcastle 2 - Hull 2. A dramatic comeback spared Alan Pardew for another week as Cisse came off the bench to fire Newcastle to a draw after two absolute wonder goals looked to have condemned the Anti-Christ back to Hell.
West Ham 3 - Liverpool 1. 3 defeats from 5 and no points against Villa and West Ham have tempered Liverpool fans expectations. The team looks impotent whenever Sterling isn’t on the ball and it doesn’t seem to matter who plays, they always concede. Meanwhile West Ham continue their fine early season form and those calling for Big Sam to be sacked have gone a little quiet. Alex Song... seriously how was he allowed to move to West fucking Ham.
Leicester 5 - Man Utd 3. Utd losing a game is hardly a shock these days, but even by their recent standards this was a new benchmark in implosion. Two goals up, twice, they were torn apart by a player who was in the conference three years ago. Each week Utd manage to find new ways to sink lower and lower into the bog. What next? A six nil home defeat by West Ham? Frankly what would be the biggest shock right now, is this side putting together a run of results that suggest anything but a mid-table finish.
Alternative Shock of the Weekend:
Spurs 0 - West Brom 1. Spurs losing 1 nil at home after a Europa league game is pretty much fair game. But to this West Brom side? Come on lads... seriously?
Manager of the Weekend:
Nigel Pearson. What an absolutely phenomenal job he has done for Leicester. One hopes for all of football that when they do have a bad run, he receives nothing but total and utter support from this club.
Villain of the Weekend:
Frank Lampard. I honestly thought he was about to cry. In fact I’m pretty sure he did. I wouldn’t want to be his wife with John Terry coming over after that goal.
Fantasy Football disaster of the Weekend:
A very solid looking back five of De Gea, Zabaleta, Ivanovic, Evans and Jagielka. Getting you 1 point between them...
Quote of the Weekend:
“Chelsea played like Stoke” - Pellegrini. Over to you Hughesy...
Team of the Weak:
De Gea - Conceded five goals, got nowhere near two penalties and distribution was again woeful. Looks to have morphed back to the keeper during his first month with the club and badly in need of some tlc. Or, alternatively, two actual centre backs.
Skertel - Continues to play like a POW who’s just escaped for 90 minutes and can’t believe his luck. It’s a good job Liverpool didn’t just sell a player who’s much better...
Tyler Blackett - So out of his depth it hurts to watch. And then once Chris Smalling came on he really did have no chance.
Cissokho - Presumably forgot he now played for Villa and not Liverpool. Torn apart in ten minutes by a man who last played well in 2012. (Citation: also a 42m World Cup Winner)
Distin - Possibly the most underrated centre back in Premier League history. But the time has come to take him out to pasture...
Barton - Swanned around, took a few rubbish free kicks, got injured, has rubbish hair.
Tiote - Commits 1000 fouls a match, doesn’t protect the defence, never scores. He’s like an even worse version of John Obi Mikel.
Lamela - That second coming... or even first one... hasn’t really come yet has it.
Gerrard - Continues to be played in the role that Lucas was born for. Is in the side to take the penalties won by diving forwards. Which given Pool bought Lambert and Balotelli, makes him now completely pointless.
Bony - Yet to score this season, now sent off. Slow clap.
Jutkiewicz - Seriously this guy is shit. Burnley, even I want you to score a bloody goal now. You’re letting yourself down, you’re letting The Tudors down. Man up.
What you may have missed:
Me failing to even mention my two favourite neutral teams, Swansea and Southampton because their game was bloody awful. Di Maria’s outrageous, simply outrageous goal before all hell broke loose. Ben Foster making a single save. David de Gea making no saves. A Liverpool full back getting injured for the 847th time in the last 2 years. Leighton Baines still scoring penalties. At least 80 minutes of the Man City v Chelsea game. Danny Welbeck currently outscoring Radamel Falcao. Mrs Frank Curran being top of the fantasy football league with “no outside help.” And finally, just to repeat it one more time, a Leicester City forward who played in the conference on this day three years ago, scoring 1 and assisting 4 as his team beat Manchester United by 5 goals to 3.
https://twitter.com/HinduMonkey
No comments:
Post a Comment