Sunday 31 August 2014

Week Three - The Key Issues

The Big Issue - Everton. The defence rests.

For the third successive week Everton were involved in the highest scoring match of the day. A preposterous 6-3 defeat to Chelsea took their total match day haul to 17 goals since the season began, and has thus far earned them the unlikely status as this years great entertainers. The problem for Everton fans though, will be that 10 of those goals have been shipped into their own net. Everton have never looked better going forward in the Premier League era than they do right now. The creative talents of Miralles, Pienaar, Barkley, Lukaku, Osman and the criminally underrated Naysmith all swarm with waspish intent no matter which quartet are picked each week to find holes in the oppositions defence. Seven goals in three games is just reward for such talent, but goals matter for little when you’re letting them in by the bucket loads behind you.

Few teams have had more stable back lines over the past five years than Everton. Martinez did little to change the rear guard which David Moyes built and instead set his sights on improving Everton higher up the pitch (as well as introducing a passing game). But that back line is now showing serious signs of age. Sylvain Distin has been one of the biggest unsung hero’s of the premier league era, but he is turning 37 in December and quite simply cannot go on forever. Alongside him both Phil Jagielka and Leighton Baines appear to have arrived back home with a World Cup hangover. At 29 and 32 both have probably already peaked and it is worrying that they have yet to get into their stride. Coleman, offensively, remains the best right back in the league alongside the towering colossus that is Branislav Ivanovic. But he remains callow when being attacked and was guilty of several errors during a defeat that laid the foundations of the team bare for all to see. Behind the back four, Tim Howard remains a solid, if occasionally enigmatic presence. The big American has rarely been more than 10 games away from a howler, and was lucky not to be sent off on Saturday. Twice.

It was certainly hard to see this coming when Everton were 2-0 up with barely ten minutes left to Arsenal last week. But since then they have shipped 8 goals in less than two hours and now have two must win games on the horizon before the annual battering at Anfield. With two days left of the transfer window it is unlikely that Everton will look to strengthen. They have the talented John Stones in reserve and the case for him to start now looks stronger than ever. Beyond that though, they are very thin. Tony Hibbert remains on the books and so, apparently, does Antolin Alcaraz. The Paraguayan player recently likened his career at Everton to “being in prison,” which hardly bodes well for his reintroduction (there is a massive, massive pun in here somewhere which I’m too tired to make).

The big issue of course, is whether or not this decline is terminal. The season remains young and Everton have hardly had an easy start. But if they are to get anywhere near the heights they achieved last year, they will need to correct the problems at the back urgently.  Any more of this and even Lawro might predict more than 1 goal.

Alternative Game of the Weekend:


Newcastle 3 Palace 3. An absolute belter. Neil Warnock, the Premier League welcomes you back to its hallowed shores.

Manager of the Weekend:


Brendan Rodgers. People are quick to jump on Liverpool’s defensive frailties as a sign of weakness in Rodgers. Whilst that might be true, he remains a shrewd tactician and consistently tore teams to shreds last season by working out what system would cause them the most trouble. He could certainly do with some Jose re-training at the back, but he proved again today that, as an attacking coach, he is arguably the finest in the league.

Person most likely to be put in Garth Crooks team of the week for no fathomable reason:


Any of the defenders who scored in the St James Park goalfest. Utterly shirking their main job to pop up at the other end and do what literally any Newcastle striker is unable to do.

Actual player of the Weekend:


Gylfi Sigurdsson. Deemed not good enough to be given a chance as chief string puller for Spurs, the Icelandic international has been in scintillating form since returning to the Welsh coast. His display at the weekend was like Beethoven in his prime. Or, you know, whoever conducts Beethoven in his prime.

Ok so I was well out of my depth with that analogy.

Fantasy Football disaster of the Weekend:


Loading your attack with Man City players, captaining Aguero and laughing as Manchester United failed at lunchtime...

Journalistic Quote of the Weekend:


“City are trying to find a way to sign the £55m Falcao whilst sticking to Financial Fair Play...”

Manager Quote of the Weekend:


Jose Mourinho - “I spent 90 minutes with my defence drilling them for this game. I should have stayed home with my wife.”

What you may have missed:
A feast of attacking football from Manchester United’s £150m frontline. A feast of attacking football from Manchester City’s £150m frontline. Nathan Dyer being the best English winger never to receive even a token call up. Saints finally shaking off their summer blues. Aston Villa being 3rd in the table. Javier Hernandez not being deemed good enough for Man Utd, but moving to second tier team Real Madrid instead. Yaya Sanogo giving a performance that would have made Carlton Cole blush. Another human being possessing the same first name as Yaya Toure. Ryan Bird being top of my Fantasy Football League and finally, Gary Linker’s absolutely fucking god awful to hell and back facial hair on Match of the Day.

Which was still better than Phil Neville.

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