Tuesday 5 April 2016

Seven questions that still need answering this season.


Can anybody stop Leicester City?

Or the more pertinent question perhaps being, can anybody score past Leicester City? Four, 1-0 wins on the spin and five out of the last six have opened up a seven point lead on Spurs with just six games left in the locker. Is this really all over now? Can anybody breach this implausible rear guard? Does it matter who you play in defence if you have N’Golo Kante covering every blade of grass on the pitch positioned in front of you? Sunderland are up next, a team who struggle to score at the best of times. Even in a season as unpredictable as this, it’s hard to see beyond another clean sheet, another three points and the Foxes having one paw on the title.

Who is the player of the year?
There are only three contenders. For all the magical assists of Mesut Ozil and striking power of Harry Kane, the award has to go to a Leicester player and Jamie Vardy, Riyad Mahrez and N’Golo Kante would all be worthy recipients. These three have lit up the league with their power and skill, but the key word that unites all of them is energy. Kante is like Makelele on speed, Vardy is the hardest working striker in the league and Mahrez is that rare creature; a skilful, showboating genius who also possesses work rate and ethic. If anybody but these three wins the top gongs, they should hand it back in shame.

Who will get fourth?
Just one point separates the two Manchester Clubs with West Ham a further two behind. United rarely score, but rarely concede; City blow hot and cold like a bust gasket and West Ham continue to undermine their often poetic attacking play with careless lapses at the back. It’s hard to know who the neutrals would want to get 4th. West Ham would probably be the common consensus, but the self-entitlement of their fans would likely mean they’d expect their club to finish their season after season if they did so. United and Chelsea finishing outside of the top four would probably have been many fans wishes that were never likely to come true last August; but both are probably now trumped by the potential comedy of City hiring Pep Guardiola to fulfil their Champions League dreams… and then not even qualify for it.

Who will join Villa in the Championship?
Oh Villa – what an absolute shower of shit you really are. Villa have now lost seven games on the spin and haven’t even scored in the last four. In fact, they’ve only scored 22 times all season. Which really is pathetic. That’s what Harry Kane has scored on his own. And he didn’t even start playing until October… But anyway, beyond their wretched, putrid filth, it’s looking increasingly more likely that only something special will stop the two North East club tumbling in to the abyss with them. Palace and Norwich remain in ropey form but both seem to possess a greater sense of togetherness that may just be enough to get them over the line. In a season of oddities, Rafa Benitez ending up at Newcastle as they descend in to the Championship is right up there. He will need quite a few “ghost goals” to get out of this mess.

Who will win the Golden Boot?
Whilst Harry Kane is the obvious candidate here, currently leading Jamie Vardy by three goals; it should be noted that four back stands Romelu Lukaku… who actually has three games in hand on young Kane. Plus you know, Aguero might score five in a match again just for fun.

Will Roy Hodgson pick the right England squad/team for this summer?
Here’s a tip Roy. No to starting Wayne Rooney over Kane or Vardy. And no taking Theo Walcott. And certainly no to taking Jack Wilshire. I don’t care how good he looked against Barcelona when he was 11; he hasn’t played all year and Drinkwater, Ali and Dier all deserve to be ahead of him.

Will anybody in the league be a worse signing ever, than Radamel Falcao?
It doesn’t matter that he was free. What matters is that Chelsea opted to bring on board an injured ravaged striker who’s best years were so far behind him you’d need a telescope to pick them out. And pay him £130,000 a week tax free. Falcao has scored five goals in forty matches since arriving in the Premier League. Whilst better than most strikers at Norwich, it is not a return which screams give him another season, as his agent is comically and tragically now requesting. He is currently the 75th choice striker for Chelsea. Who have chosen to play their entire youth team and even inexplicably sign, nurse back to health and then play another injury prone striker ahead of him as well. 

Memphis Depay, come on lad, you can do this. Don't let Chelsea win even one thing this season...

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