Is this the end of the road for Gus?
Being beating in front of your own fans is never great. Being beating by a rival for relegation less so. But being thrashed at home by Aston Villa, a team who had mustered just four goals in their previous 14 away games... well, you can’t really get much lower. Villa took just 45 minutes on Saturday to equal what they had achieved in the 1300 preceding it. Their play was full of pace and power, but to be honest, only one team turned up. John O’Shea and Wes Brown are a curious centre back partnership, capable of imperious performances against the top teams one minute, and looking like they’ve both stepped out, hungover, for the Dog & Duck the next. This weekend certainly fell into the latter category and battening down the hatches at half time will mean nothing to the 90% of Sunderland fans who had already left. Sacking a manager with just 9 games left seems unlikely, but it would certainly be a surprise to see Poyet given beyond the summer to attempt to rebuild this club. Sunderland are a good team to have in the Premier League, in that they have a large number of loyal and passionate fans. But judged on their record of transfers, finance and management over the past four to five seasons, they’re probably taking up space for one of the many team contesting the tightest Championship in years.
Burnley deserve to stay up
Unlike Sunderland, Burnley have no money, no squad and select the same eleven players each week. A feat considered almost inexplicable in the modern era. They remain in the relegation zone but they have momentum on their side and when you consider they were utterly adrift and winless after 10 games, their turnaround since has been remarkable. They now lie just 3 points behind Hull in 15th and it looks like one from the two of those four, Sunderland and Villa for the drop. Saturday evening saw the highlight of the season so far as they eased past a flat Manchester City to take a ridiculous four points off the champions. George Boyd could not even get in the Hull squad before being sold to Burnley, and the match winner has been an example of the outstanding work ethic that runs through Sean Dyche’s squad. Burnley have performed exceptionally during a difficult run against the top teams but must now do it all again against those around them. Judging by the way they played on Saturday, that shouldn’t be a problem. No club deserves to stay up more than Burnley.
QPR are, all things considered, pretty shit
The third in this weeks relegation trilogy features a club who are surely heading back to the fiery chasm from whence the came. QPR were spectacularly bad in the first half against Palace. Even in a weekend which saw at least four spectacularly bad first half performances. Neil Warnock, Mark Hughes, Harry Redknapp and now Chris Ramsey have thus far not been able to get any consistency from a club who continues to pay premium salaries for players who seemingly don’t care. As Jonathan Liew tweeted, “The funny thing about QPR, is how every single one of them clearly thinks they're a genius surrounded by morons.”
Utd & Spurs both rolled back the clock
Anyone who watched the first half at Old Trafford today could be forgiven for thinking they’d entered a time machine and gone back three years. United pressed, passed the ball quickly and blew away Spurs in a ruthless opening half hour. Something they haven’t done to any team since Fergie hung up his gloves towards the end of his final, triumphant season. Spurs meanwhile, remembered what all great Spurs teams do when faced with a crisis... duck and cover. If United’s first two goals owed everything to the bullish centre forward play of Marouane Fellaini and the pin point precision of Michael Carrick, the third owed everything to a team who looked like they had simply given up on the art of defending. The ball was passed straight to Rooney (by a Spurs player), but even then the Utd captain was 35 yards out and surrounded by four men. He went past one by running rather than walking, and then watched as Eric Dier performed what must be a contender for the limpest tackle of all time. Not believing his luck, he broke through before finally placing the ball past Loris in a way that could not have been more telegraphed. Rooney’s celebration was a tongue in cheek reference to his apparent boxing knockout last month. His goal provided the knockout to Spurs challenge for the top four. Although, in truth, like all great Spurs’ sides, they applied the decisive punch themselves.
Saints just won’t go away
They probably won’t make it into the Champions League places, but Southampton refuse to just disappear quietly into the night and once again caused problems for a top team this weekend. Saints have some wonderful players, mixed with the best back line in the league. If they had Diego Costa up front they would probably be second. Thankfully for Chelsea, Costa plays for them and his well taken goal was enough for them to escape with a single point from a match that really should have wrapped up the title. Saints meanwhile, continue to punch above their weight and now have seven of their final nine games against teams in the bottom half. With the teams above them all due to play each other. The impossible, still remains almost possible.
Team of the Weak
Green - Hard to pick out a single keeper from some of the horrific defensive showings this weekend. But Green got his angles wrong on each of the three goals he conceded. And has a really whiney little face.
Coloccini - It’s a good job Newcastle already have 35 points, because if they get more than a handful more between now and May I’ll be shocked.
Dier - Absolutely awful. Has the mobility of a three legged cow.
Brown & O’Shea - Might be the last season in the big leagues for the ex United squad players. The glory years look a long way away right now.
Matic - Has badly lost his early season spark, much like his fellow teammates. Dragged off after 52 minutes before getting sent off. Again.
Taarabt - Shocking. Just doesn’t do anything for the team and seemingly plays one in six games just at random.
Townsend - When you get subbed after 29 minutes, you have not had a great match.
Song - Not the home coming he wanted. Looked like he didn’t want to be there from kick off and to be fair, the scoreline flattered West Ham.
Aguero - Every dog has his day Sergio. And this was yours. I never thought I’d see you in here. I almost feel wrong doing it. But come on lad, you’re better than this.
Kane - An absolute horror show. No service, no support and when he did get in the game near the end every touch was a bad one. It’s not every week you can put two of the best strikers in the league in here... but it was that sort of weekend.
What you may have missed
Charlie Austin, the one QPR player who can score, not being passed the ball. Matty Phillips, not bothered, just blasting one in from forty yards anyway to complete disprove my first point. Ozil’s twinkling toes and Giroud’s rugged good looks being too much for a limp West Ham. Leicester and Hull. Just that. Leicester and Hull. Tim Sherwood calculating how he already has the best win percentage of any managers in Aston Villa’s history. Tony Pulis winning a match 1-0. I mean, seriously Tony come on. We thought you’d changed a little after Crystal Palace. But you hadn’t had you? You boring, boring bastard. Burnley beating Manchester City. Just to repeat... Burnley beating Manchester City. Everton winning a match at home. Just to repeat... Everton winning a match at home. Jose Mourinho complaining about nothing, for a change. And Manchester United... being just too... fucking... good... for a Spurs team who were so bad. Just so, so, so bad. Everything I said about Louis Van Gaal was nonsense. Hail maestro. I mean, he even played Juan Mata.
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