Substitutes Mata.
After a largely uneventful first half in which Manchester United deservedly led through a sweeping, Juan Mata finished move, I’m not sure there was anyone out there who was prepared for the madness that was to come. As it was, this game was ultimately decided by those who stepped off the bench and left their mark. First and foremost, the mark into the leg of Ander Herrera from Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard. Gerrard has been sent off many times in his career, but never so quickly and as pointlessly as this. Playing in his final Liverpool match against United, Gerrard stepped onto the pitch with the attitude of the fan he truly is. He crashed into one tackle, crashed into a second and then reacted horribly and was deservedly shown his marching orders. What he failed to do was remember that he was also an actual player and the captain of his team. He also failed to apologise to the player he stamped on in a groveling apology to the people of his city, his manager, his fellow professional, his dog, his solicitor and John Terry. But let’s not kick a man when he’s down. That’s what Gerrard would do.
Moving on from that came Angel Di Maria, who perhaps aggrieved and amazed at the sight of Ashley Young playing instead of him delivered the pass of the match to set up the winning goal. He then proceeded to play absolutely toilet. Which thankfully didn’t Mata as much as the ball he played to Juan did. Almost as comical as all of that was the appearance of Mario Balotelli. Perhaps affronted by Gerrard stealing his limelight, Mario did everything he could to be sent off via a series of cynical tackles, late lunges and in one truly comical moment, being restrained by two actual fans from reacting to Chris Smalling.
Apart from the above, there was also a brilliant goal, a dramatic goal, clearances off the line, a missed penalty, at least two other clear red cards waved away and the constant sight of people paid an average of 100k a week each give the ball away again... and again... and again...
The fall out from the result means United now sit 5 points clear of the chasing pack in 4th and still well in the hunt for 2nd. Something that seemed inexplicable as little as a fortnight ago. Van Gaal finally seems to have found something that works at the business end of the season. It wasn’t a formation. It wasn’t a tactic. It wasn’t a philosophy.
It was called fucking playing Juan Mata.
Referees need help.
Perhaps the pace of the game really has changed that much in ten years. Perhaps the bringing in of goal line technology has turned our attentions elsewhere. Or perhaps the over analysed, social media instant replay world we now live in can make judgements on a referees call where they can’t. But even putting that aside, it seems that every week now there aren’t just errors or bad calls, but absolute stone wall howlers. None more so than within just a few minutes of kick off this weekend, when yet again the wrong player was sent off by a referee who looked like he genuinely had no idea what he was doing.
There is no credible reason as to why a referee cannot be miked up to a 5th official sitting in the stands with a monitor to give him a 30-60 seconds window to make a decision on a key moment. It doesn’t have to be as wooly as rugby “is there a reason why I can’t penalise the flanker who may have hit the opposition person before scoring the try which I disallowed anyway.” It could be based on two criteria and two alone. Is that a red card and if so to whom? And is that a penalty? Too often games are ruined by both of those decisions going the wrong way for the wrong team. Arguments about slowing the game down are nonsense. The ball is only in play 65% of the time over 90 minutes and we’re not doing anything about that. Arguments about undermining referees are hollow. Could they really be in a worse position than they are now? And ultimately the decision would still rest with them, they would just get the benefit of another person relying, factually, what occurred for them to make the call on.
Football cannot continue to look down upon other spots as the most popular in the game when it lags so far behind in key areas. It is badly lacking in progression and this is an obvious way to make the game better and fairer. Perhaps then we can have punditry shows which don’t spend 90% of the time discussing wrong decisions.
Giroud. Yes. Apparently this is real.
I am not a fan of Olivier Giroud. Mainly because he has the first touch of a donkey, the second touch of a mule and looks like he’s more interested in his hair than getting his boots dirty. After returning from injury he has been on fire and whilst a truly horrific hour against Monaco threatened to expose him for the sham that he is, he has rallied again following it. Giroud now has 13 league goals for the season at a rate of one every 96 minutes. To put that into perspective, Aguero has 17 at a rate of 107, Costa 19 at a rate of 101 and Kane 19 at a rate of 98.
So Giroud is the best striker in the league.
Apart from Cisse. Who has one every 92 minutes. But nobody cares about Newcastle.
Is there a harder manager to beat than Jose?
Chelsea are not going to win the league by being the best team anymore. Or even having the best players. They are going to win it be having the best mentality. It might not be pretty (it isn’t) and it might not be fair (rarely) but nobody is harder to beat than teams managed by Jose Mourinho. Chelsea were absolutely awful for large parts of their game against Hull but whereas lesser teams would have crumbled or retreated under the pressure, Chelsea just dug in, got on with it, and eventually won. They have lost just four times in almost 50 games this season, and three of those were utterly ridiculous matches and, tellingly, none were against their rivals or the bigger clubs. They even went out of Europe drawing both matches. Chelsea will add the league title to the league cup come May, it’s now just a matter of how much they let us believe they might not in the meantime.
More of the same doesn’t make for an easy blog.
I try to be original, it try to be informative, I even try to be amusing. But seriously, what more can be said about Southampton’s absurd defence? Of Harry Kane being brilliant again? Of QPR getting relegated? Of West Ham and Sunderland being boring? Of Aston Villa not scoring right after they’d convinced us all that was going to end?
Wait there was a Clasico on? Oh for fucks sake...
Team of the Weak
Vorm - Came on for injured Lloris. Conceded three goals. Still, at least he got a game after his big club move in the summer...
M. Dawson - The worst in a back three containing Paul McShane and Alex Bruce. I mean, come on.
C. Dawson - Should have been sent off. Wasn’t. And then watched his team concede a simply unbelievable 43 (forty three) shots.
Yun - Did Harry sign this guy? Can he actually tackle? Like, at all?
Upson - Seriously. Is anybody listening here?
Gerrard - You'll always have Istanbul Stevie. Just no league titles. Chin up.
N’Zogbia - Well Tactics Tim made him good for one game at least.
Allen - Does anybody know what Joe Allen does for Liverpool? Is he there just to make Jordan Henderson look really good?
Sterling - Utterly anonymous. Although playing left back for the last twenty minutes against the best player on the park whilst Mario strutted around up front probably told you the manager had lost it a little...
Defoe - Laughably bad.
Pelle - This was a good week for strikers all things considered. Pretty much everyone scored. Except Pelle. 1050 minutes now son...
What you may have missed
The funeral of the betrayed former King of England Richard III. And the rugby. Being so much better than the football even when the football was pretty damn brilliant.
Oh and El Classico. Barcelona won. Suraez. Remember him?
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