With a second child on the horizon ready to throw my
carefully organised world into a carelessly disorganised one, this will be my
last blog for a few weeks. I’m sure you can survive next weekend without me.
And I know you can survive England showing “all their attacking teeth” against
San Marino the week after. But either way, let’s make this blog a good one. After
all, we’ve just won the Ryder Cup. Again.
After a season filled with attacking flair, young English
talent and a wonderful pressing game, Saints pushed Swansea every step of the
way last year in aiming to become everyone’s second team. This season, they
have rebuilt half the team, gone Dutch and are now the clear contenders to be
everyone’s second team. They are, put simply, a joy to watch.
Saints fans were fearful in early August when Lovren had
followed Shaw, Chambers, Lambert and Lallana out of the club. More so with Schneiderlin
and Rodriguez set to join them. Koeman though never faltered, he held on to the
final two, said he had plenty of young defenders coming through the academy and
had already bought Tadic and Pelle to replace Lambert and Lallana. Those two
have since been joined by Saido Mane and the three playing in tandem look as
good as any in the league. Sluggish in his first two games, Pelle has since
scored 5 goals in 6 and further improved his reputation with a preposterous
overhead kick on Saturday. If Mane is direct, full of pace and power, then
Tadic is the real main cog in this new look team. He is the type of footballer
who’s first touch gives him a yard over everyone on the pitch. He treats the
ball like an object not of leather, but of the finest bone china, caressing it
tenderly, lovingly with each delicate strike of his boot.
Behind the forwards it’s easy to see why Koeman was most
keen to retain the services of Schneiderlin. The Frenchman is a wonderful
footballer and works brilliantly with the more industrial skills of Victor
Wanayama or Jack Cork. Behind them Ryan Bertrand seems finally to have found a
club where he belongs and Nathanial Clyne is the best English right back by
such an embarrassing margin it’s beginning to get perverse that literally
anyone from Liverpool or Man Utd continue to get selected above him. The
underrated Fonte continues to impress centrally and both Yoshida and
Alderwiered have been solid enough to be part of, thus far, once again the best
defence in the league. It’s barely even been noticed that Saints also upgraded
their keeper to the excellent and less erratic Fraser Forster.
Southampton are 2nd in the table and will
certainly not be overawed about the prospect of going to White Hart Lane this
weekend to face their old manager. On this evidence, followed by further games
against Sunderland, Stoke, Hull and Leicester… Saints are a much better bet for
4th than anyone from Merseyside.
The Bug Bear
There are few more petty crimes committed each week then
during the art of celebrating a goal. This weekend saw Nacer Chadli booked and
warned that he “could have been sent off” for cupping his hand to his ear when he
scored against Arsenal. Why exactly? Players get abused relentlessly by
opposition fans during football matches, why on earth aren’t they allowed to
give a little back when they prove them wrong? There is a line of course, but
one that Chadli certainly didn’t cross and for the commentator to just say
“he’s stupid there, you just can’t do that” is a sad and frankly pathetic indictment
of the game. Indeed, compared to Lampard’s pathetic, humbled apology of a
celebration last weekend it was a breath of fresh air. Personally I would
rather an automatic yellow was given for a non-celebration rather than a
passionate one. Footballers are overpaid and over privileged, but let’s not
take away their ability to actually, truly care about scoring a fucking goal.
Team of the Weak
Heaton – Burnley’s defence crashed back down to earth this
weekend. Heaton was beaten 4 times from a mere 6 shots and looked ill at ease
throughout.
Mee – Sooner or later the complete inability of Burnley to score a goal was going to cause the pressure on the defence to finally buckle. That was Sunday.
Mangala – An own goal, a truly terrible tackle to concede a penalty and a name that has brought tabloid headliners out in a rash with excitement.
Michael Dawson – Hull had one of the better defences last year and it wasn’t an area of the team that cried out for strengthening. They opened the season with a clean sheet and were unlucky to concede a late equaliser in their second match whilst playing with 10 men. Since then, Michael Dawson has come in and helped the Tigers ship 10 goals in 4 matches. I mean, I don’t want to point fingers…
Trippier - A third Burnley stopper makes the team. Trippier was much touted for his attacking play before promotion. Something we have seen precisely nothing of since the season started. Although in fairness to the lad, we have seen precisely nothing from the entire team in that area.
Cleverley – This was more like it Tom. Misplaced passed, needless booking, game passing you by. This is what United fans knew and loved. Thanks for reminding us again.
Vardy – Last week’s hero was this week’s fall guy. Missed a guilt edged chance, got booked, watched his side get overpowered and lose.
Fer – I’m not entirely sure what Fer is supposed to do. He seems to play in a free number 10 role, yet averages a goal or assist every 500 minutes. Which is bloody awful. Are people buying him just because he’s Dutch?
Rooney – A quietly impressive 45 minutes was undone by a laughably crap and cynical foul on Downing. Won’t play for his club again until November, and Juan Mata is better anyway, so nobody is really bothered.
Wickham – Could be a staple fixture in this feature if Sunderland continue to look as toothless as this. Can’t buy a goal at present.
Welbeck – Looked tired, off the pace and never really got going. Who does he think he is, Giroud?
Mee – Sooner or later the complete inability of Burnley to score a goal was going to cause the pressure on the defence to finally buckle. That was Sunday.
Mangala – An own goal, a truly terrible tackle to concede a penalty and a name that has brought tabloid headliners out in a rash with excitement.
Michael Dawson – Hull had one of the better defences last year and it wasn’t an area of the team that cried out for strengthening. They opened the season with a clean sheet and were unlucky to concede a late equaliser in their second match whilst playing with 10 men. Since then, Michael Dawson has come in and helped the Tigers ship 10 goals in 4 matches. I mean, I don’t want to point fingers…
Trippier - A third Burnley stopper makes the team. Trippier was much touted for his attacking play before promotion. Something we have seen precisely nothing of since the season started. Although in fairness to the lad, we have seen precisely nothing from the entire team in that area.
Cleverley – This was more like it Tom. Misplaced passed, needless booking, game passing you by. This is what United fans knew and loved. Thanks for reminding us again.
Vardy – Last week’s hero was this week’s fall guy. Missed a guilt edged chance, got booked, watched his side get overpowered and lose.
Fer – I’m not entirely sure what Fer is supposed to do. He seems to play in a free number 10 role, yet averages a goal or assist every 500 minutes. Which is bloody awful. Are people buying him just because he’s Dutch?
Rooney – A quietly impressive 45 minutes was undone by a laughably crap and cynical foul on Downing. Won’t play for his club again until November, and Juan Mata is better anyway, so nobody is really bothered.
Wickham – Could be a staple fixture in this feature if Sunderland continue to look as toothless as this. Can’t buy a goal at present.
Welbeck – Looked tired, off the pace and never really got going. Who does he think he is, Giroud?
Fantasy Football Disaster
of the Week
Gloating at halftime that you took the decision to captain
Rooney over Costa this week.
Non Argument of the
Week
Steven Gerrard SILENCES
critics with free kick. Those would, er, be the critics who said the only
thing he can still do is strike a dead ball then? Well… that’s us told.
Manager of the Week
Alan Irvine. Back to back wins. Back to back clean sheets.
Vibrant, attacking football. Er, where has this come from?
Worst Post Match Comments
of the Week
The remarkable interview with both Big Sam and Kevin Nolan
who tore apart the linesman for correctly awarding his goal as offside against
Man Utd. First the manager said “it was just offside, but, he must have been
superhuman to see it from there.” He then took a breath and seemed to change
his mind to “no, he’s dropped a bollock, for me it’s onside.” This was followed
by Nolan saying “you could see him blowing where he couldn’t keep up with play,
it was a poor decision and I was definitely onside.”
Crucially Kevin, you weren’t. And regardless of whether the
linesman saw it, took a punt or an educated guess, he got the decision right.
Nothing else ultimately matters.
Quote of the Week
Arsene Wenger on his sides 8th injury crisis in 8
years:
“I don’t know. We’ll have to analyse. There’s no logic to it.”
Perhaps continuously signing lightweight players made of glass and teaching them pass, pass, pass, pass in every training session isn’t always ideal when it comes to physical matches? Just a guess. I’m no expert. But we are kind of going round in circles here Arsene.
“I don’t know. We’ll have to analyse. There’s no logic to it.”
Perhaps continuously signing lightweight players made of glass and teaching them pass, pass, pass, pass in every training session isn’t always ideal when it comes to physical matches? Just a guess. I’m no expert. But we are kind of going round in circles here Arsene.
What you have missed
Europe retaining the Ryder Cup. Sky putting a match on
Sunday that almost nobody cared about so that we could all watch Europe
retaining the Ryder Cup. One defender walking out on Brendan Rodgers and
another one hitting him with a 30 yard, derby day piledriver. Manchester United
defending like desperate dogs against the might of West Ham at home. Edin Dzeko
rolling back the months to last season. Alan Pardew still being in a job.
Portsmouth being debt free six years after Harry Redknapp left them in
“excellent shape.” Chelsea winning the Premier League Title in September. Frank
Lampard scoring four goals in a week. None of which were for Chelsea. Ronaldo
coming “home” to Manchester United. Every week. In every paper. Only he won’t.
Ever.
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