It’s Christmas, so it’s time to see what’s happened so far
this season in an alternate universe…
Martinez Makes a Mockery
of Second Season Syndrome
After a superb debut season at the helm of Everton, sullen and instantly dislikeable Roberto Martinez has picked up where he left off and already guided the Merseysiders to 3rd place playing a brand of football that screams total from every orifice. Claims that Gareth Barry would fade as soon as he was given a permanent contract have looked well off the mark as the midfield maestro has eclipsed his form from last year with a series of assured displays. He is still yet to receive a booking, or mistime a single tackle this season. At the back, Martinez has felt no need to add youth to experience and has now kept 6 consecutive clean sheets thanks to the age defying presence of Sylvain Distin. Up front, Romelu Lukaku has made a mockery of his £28m fee by dominating games, never, ever going missing and thus far netting 20 goals in just 18 appearances. Special mention has to go to Kevin Mirallas though, who was thus far completed the most successful forward passes in the league, silencing talk that he is a greedy little hogger who thinks he is the Belgian Ronaldo. Hail the Toffees!
After a superb debut season at the helm of Everton, sullen and instantly dislikeable Roberto Martinez has picked up where he left off and already guided the Merseysiders to 3rd place playing a brand of football that screams total from every orifice. Claims that Gareth Barry would fade as soon as he was given a permanent contract have looked well off the mark as the midfield maestro has eclipsed his form from last year with a series of assured displays. He is still yet to receive a booking, or mistime a single tackle this season. At the back, Martinez has felt no need to add youth to experience and has now kept 6 consecutive clean sheets thanks to the age defying presence of Sylvain Distin. Up front, Romelu Lukaku has made a mockery of his £28m fee by dominating games, never, ever going missing and thus far netting 20 goals in just 18 appearances. Special mention has to go to Kevin Mirallas though, who was thus far completed the most successful forward passes in the league, silencing talk that he is a greedy little hogger who thinks he is the Belgian Ronaldo. Hail the Toffees!
Garth Crooks gets it
right again
Previously maligned “pundit” Garth Crooks, has thus far managed to “nail” each and every one of his fabled teams of the week. Calling for Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard to be jointly given the player of the year award after just one game was brave, but both have repaid his words by being consistently excellent in defensive midfield all season. In a much talked about move, Crooks controversially stepped away from just naming defenders who scored every week, and instead rewarding the actual job they are paid to do, namely keeping clean sheets. In goal, he has now gone a barely believable 3 whole weeks without giving the position to Joe Hart for no reason imaginable. Finally, despite having no reason whatsoever to stick to an actual formation, Crooks has defied his critics and done just that. No longer picking a side with seven forwards and Drogba at centre back, Crooks now hand crafts an XI each and every week that stands up both statistically and intelligently to any in the land.
Previously maligned “pundit” Garth Crooks, has thus far managed to “nail” each and every one of his fabled teams of the week. Calling for Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard to be jointly given the player of the year award after just one game was brave, but both have repaid his words by being consistently excellent in defensive midfield all season. In a much talked about move, Crooks controversially stepped away from just naming defenders who scored every week, and instead rewarding the actual job they are paid to do, namely keeping clean sheets. In goal, he has now gone a barely believable 3 whole weeks without giving the position to Joe Hart for no reason imaginable. Finally, despite having no reason whatsoever to stick to an actual formation, Crooks has defied his critics and done just that. No longer picking a side with seven forwards and Drogba at centre back, Crooks now hand crafts an XI each and every week that stands up both statistically and intelligently to any in the land.
West Brom prove loyalty
and stability is the key to success
Riding high in 6th place, West Brom chairman Jeremy Peace has cited “total stability” as the key to his sides form. Peace has refused many claims to sack Roberto Di Matteo despite indifferent form over the past five years. He has been rewarded though with the Italian playing fluent, passing football and a superb transfer window in which the Baggies added proven ability to their rosters and laughed whilst other clubs took hopeless punts on strikers who literally cannot score. Peace made reference to the likes of Stoke City and Swansea in his Christmas Speech, two clubs who have both gone through 11 managers in 3 years and have proven time and time again sacking coaches after a few months, whilst giving them no say whatsoever in transfers, is a highly risky strategy. West Brom can now enjoy the rest of the season, safe from relegation and ready to push for a much deserved European spot.
Riding high in 6th place, West Brom chairman Jeremy Peace has cited “total stability” as the key to his sides form. Peace has refused many claims to sack Roberto Di Matteo despite indifferent form over the past five years. He has been rewarded though with the Italian playing fluent, passing football and a superb transfer window in which the Baggies added proven ability to their rosters and laughed whilst other clubs took hopeless punts on strikers who literally cannot score. Peace made reference to the likes of Stoke City and Swansea in his Christmas Speech, two clubs who have both gone through 11 managers in 3 years and have proven time and time again sacking coaches after a few months, whilst giving them no say whatsoever in transfers, is a highly risky strategy. West Brom can now enjoy the rest of the season, safe from relegation and ready to push for a much deserved European spot.
Arsenal remain the
team to beat
10 points clear at the top and currently unbeaten, Arsene Wenger has quoted “mental toughness,” “never getting caught on the counter attack” and a “peerless record” against the other big teams as the key reasons behind their current success. Resisting the urge to add three more attacking midfielders to his team for no reason whatsoever, Wenger instead bought Mat Hummels and Diego Godin to the Emirates, as well as the defensive shield of Sami Khedira. The three have been crucial in cutting out the former frailties of the side and allowing the partnership of Danny Welbeck and Yaya Sanogo to play with potent abandonment up front. The pair, who many doubted would score the goals required for a title challenge, have notched 35 times between them to date. Behind them, Mesut Ozil and Jack Wilshire have been inspired and injury free, gathering 20 assists to date and having never once gone missing on a rainy night in Stoke.
10 points clear at the top and currently unbeaten, Arsene Wenger has quoted “mental toughness,” “never getting caught on the counter attack” and a “peerless record” against the other big teams as the key reasons behind their current success. Resisting the urge to add three more attacking midfielders to his team for no reason whatsoever, Wenger instead bought Mat Hummels and Diego Godin to the Emirates, as well as the defensive shield of Sami Khedira. The three have been crucial in cutting out the former frailties of the side and allowing the partnership of Danny Welbeck and Yaya Sanogo to play with potent abandonment up front. The pair, who many doubted would score the goals required for a title challenge, have notched 35 times between them to date. Behind them, Mesut Ozil and Jack Wilshire have been inspired and injury free, gathering 20 assists to date and having never once gone missing on a rainy night in Stoke.
Poyet lays all credit
at the feet of Altidore and labels him “World’s Best”
4th spot, ahead of the free flowing but ailing Chelsea and the Wayne Rooney managed Manchester United, is rich reward so far for a Sunderland team who have taken off the handbrake and are currently the seasons top scorers. Whilst the likes of Lee Catermole, Jack Rodwell and Seb Larsson have all weighed in with goals a plenty, the real success story has been the reborn Jozy Altidore. The American has plundered 26 goals so far in just 17 matches with a shot conversion rate of 70%. He has been an absolute lethal weapon in the Black Cats armoury and looks set to take the Champions League by storm if his team can maintain this sort of form into the New Year. His form is almost the complete opposite of the much maligned Sergio Aguero. The Argentinian is struggling badly in a City side that are languishing in mid-table and has now gone over 2,000 minutes without a goal, missing 8 penalties in that time. His manager remains positive though, singling out the fact he is yet to get injured as cause for optimism.
4th spot, ahead of the free flowing but ailing Chelsea and the Wayne Rooney managed Manchester United, is rich reward so far for a Sunderland team who have taken off the handbrake and are currently the seasons top scorers. Whilst the likes of Lee Catermole, Jack Rodwell and Seb Larsson have all weighed in with goals a plenty, the real success story has been the reborn Jozy Altidore. The American has plundered 26 goals so far in just 17 matches with a shot conversion rate of 70%. He has been an absolute lethal weapon in the Black Cats armoury and looks set to take the Champions League by storm if his team can maintain this sort of form into the New Year. His form is almost the complete opposite of the much maligned Sergio Aguero. The Argentinian is struggling badly in a City side that are languishing in mid-table and has now gone over 2,000 minutes without a goal, missing 8 penalties in that time. His manager remains positive though, singling out the fact he is yet to get injured as cause for optimism.
Team of the Season so
Far:
Simon Mignolet
Wes Morgan
Kyle Naughton
Sylvain Distin
Eliaquim Mangala
Tom Cleverly
Darren Fletcher
Mikel Arteta
Hatem Ben Arfa
Mario Balotelli
Brown Ideye
Wes Morgan
Kyle Naughton
Sylvain Distin
Eliaquim Mangala
Tom Cleverly
Darren Fletcher
Mikel Arteta
Hatem Ben Arfa
Mario Balotelli
Brown Ideye
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