Monday 28 April 2014

Five Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Thirty Six


1. Nobody can kill football like Jozzze
It has been an ongoing question all season, at what stage would Mourinho throw his toys out of the pram and make his “happy one” comments seem even more ludicrous than they were initially? He has threatened to combust a few times but the real tipping point came last week when, following a defeat at home to Sunderland, Jose ripped into the officials and the media in a truly astonishing rant. To imply that you have been unlucky with decisions is one thing, but to outright state that you have been a victim of “engineered results” by the entire Referees Union? No Jose. You just can’t say that. Except of course, he actually can. Because the punishment for managers who spout such bile is about as much of a deterrent as FIFA’s racism stance. A fine and token touchline ban will no doubt follow, but what do managers have to do to get proper suspensions for calling the game into disrepute? Head-butt somebody? Anyway, I’m ranting about this largely to avoid talking about the match on Sunday, which saw Jose come, park and leave with three points that blew the title race about as open as a Savanna Plain. It will almost certainly now go to the last kick on the last day and whilst the momentum has swung back to City, I’d be shocked if there wasn’t at least a couple more twists in the tail yet. In fairness to Jose, nobody parks the bus quite like him. Other, lesser managers dream of the odd nil nil against the big boys. But Jose manages to sneak victories as well. Perhaps that’s because unlike Pulis, Allardyce et all, Jose has millions and millions of pounds to spend on buying the best defensive players in the world to entertain us all with. Poor Jose, if only he had a striker he wouldn’t have to play like this. Honest.

2. Giggs brings back the love
For much of the first half it looked as if the wave of euphoria following David Moyes’ sacking was about as misplaced as Utd’s passing. “You can’t just turn confidence on and off like a tap,” said Gary Neville as he watched Utd struggle to break down a Norwich team who will be playing in the Championship next season. But then, the luck that eluded dear David. A penalty, an early second half goal and from there Utd could have run out winning by six or seven. Confidence flowed back through the ranks as if a tap had been turned on (sorry Gary) as Utd countered and attacked with pace for the first time since the opening day of the season. Presumably when the players hadn’t quite worked out how bad Moyes was yet. There is still major work to do here, not least in defence where Evra remains mythically, mystically bad and every centre back seems to spend half the game falling over. But this was as good a start as Giggs could hope for. Van Gaal should follow, with Giggs waiting patiently behind for his chance a few years down the line. Next season will likely be more open than ever and there are no guarantees whatsoever that Utd will bounce back, but for now it was just good to see the stadium filled with people who were happy again. Both fans, manager and crucially, the players.

3. Where has Connor Wickham been?
Not playing for Sunderland is the short answer. After impressing at Ipswich, Wickham was signed by Sunderland in 2011 for a fee of £8m. No small amount for somebody who was 18 and only had 15 career goals. But the potential was there and with it came expectation. Wickham has barely played since his move; he scored just once in his debut season before being loaned to Leeds and (more successfully) Sheffield Wednesday. This was a player who clearly needed games, so it’s surprising that he’s averaged barely 20 appearances a season (including loans) prior to his recent run. It took far, far too long for Gus Poyet to abandon all faith in Dozy Altidore and recall Wickham for one, final throw of the dice. But thankfully for Black Cats everywhere, the dice has come up with a five. Five goals in three games that have turned Sunderland’s season on a head. They gathered an improbable 4 points from away matches with Manchester City and Chelsea, before crushing Cardiff in the crucial match this Sunday. They now sit in 17th, with a game in hand home to West Brom. It is back in their own hands even if they lose at Old Trafford on Saturday. Wickham has been sensational during the revival, offering a focal point for the onrushing Johnson and Borini and converting his chances with confidence and aplomb. Still just 21, it looks as if his talent has finally come out to play.

4. Bony keeps Swans afloat
Four goals in two games from Wilfried Bony has steered Swansea to safety and left them free to dream about who their manager might be next season. Whoever that is, has the enviable task of trying to get Bony and Michu playing in such a way that strikes fear into the heart of opposition defences. Bony has got better and better as the season progresses and now has 16 goals to his name in his debut campaign. A fine effort for a team that have struggled and rich reward for his all round play. Bony is strong, powerful and quick and is actually a much closer fit to Drogba than Lukaku is mooted to be. He was superb again on Saturday, as Swansea brushed aside a pitiful Aston Villa to secure top flight status for another season. How Paul Lambert must wish for a finisher like this following the injury to Benteke. Villa still need just one win to stay in the division but are marooned on 35 points and are in total freefall. They play Hull this weekend in a match they simply have to win. With away trips to Manchester City and Spurs to follow, their entire season likely hinges on that result. So no pressure then.

5. The Premier League team of the season… was bobbins.
Suarez was a worthy winner of the PFA player of the season last night, as were the runner ups to his crown, Eden Hazard and Ya Ya Toure. But beyond those three and the wonderful Adam Lallana, it’s tempting to question every other name on the team of the season sheet. Ok so Seamus Coleman probably deserves to be on there as well, I’m just bitter about the own goal he scored this weekend for my fantasy football team. But the rest of the defence?

Let’s start in goal, where we have Petr Cech, for no possible reason I can fathom. Ok so he’s kept the most clean sheets (16) but he’s barely had to make a save all season and has not once won a match for his side in the way that other keepers have. Tim Howard has kept 14 clean sheets and made 26 more saves than Cech, and that’s before you get to Boruc, who has an absurd 50% clean sheet record; and David Marshall at Cardiff, who has made a ridiculous 145 saves for his terrible team, almost double that of Cech. Cahil has certainly had a strong season for Chelsea, but Kompany alongside him? The City captain has been injury prone again and got himself sent off at a crucial time. Per Mertesacker was the obvious choice, despite Arsenal’s woeful results against the bigger teams. At left back Shaw seems to have been given the nod because he’s young, handsome and English. He’s arguably been the weakest of Saints first choice back five this season and hasn’t been as good as Leighton Baines or the impossibly underrated Joel Ward.

Steven Gerrard’s PR agent presumably bought him a place in the team along with all the penalties his team have bought this season. His reinvention has been impressive but Sterling, Barry and Ramsey all deserved a nod ahead of him. All of which brings us to centre forward, where we have Danny Sturridge alongside the imperious Suarez. Sturridge? Over Altidore? Over Soldado? Over Anichebe? Over Van Wolfswinkel? Over Cornelius? Over… sorry, I think I’ve got confused.

(just type bobbins and back away)

BOBBINS.

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