Sunday 24 November 2013

Five Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Twelve

1. Merseyside Madness
The Merseyside derby has been lacking a bit in recent years. Not so much in passion or full heartedness, but certainly in terms of quality and genuine entertainment. All that changed this weekend with a match that wasn’t just the best derby in recent times, but the best the top flight had offered for several years. Liverpool fans may well point to the incorrect decision to award Kevin Mirallas a yellow rather than a red for a recklessly high tackle on Suarez, but such an act would have ruined what then evolved into a farcical end to end battle of attacking intent. The managers deserve full credit. Gone was the pragmatism of previous derbies, replaced instead by passing, pressing football and a desire to score goals. Rodgers brought on two extra attackers in the last 20 minutes when his team were merely drawing. Everything you could want from a football match was here, from wonderful goals and moments of sublime skill (anything involving Countinho) all the way through to hopeless defending, misplaced passes and blood curdling tackles. A draw, ultimately, was the fair result. Everton’s superior number of chances offset by that Mirallas decision and a ridiculous open goal miss from Joe Allen. I watched the match in a large pub filled with probably around 200 fans made up of both sets of supporters, enthralled neutrals and tragic fantasy football followers. There was huff, bluster and a lot of heckling throughout. But come the final whistle almost everybody in the entire pub stood up and applauded, an action I have never witnessed in a non-international match. This was football as it was meant to be. Pure and simple, theatre.

2. Where have England’s wingers gone?
Not so long ago you looked to the national team and saw several viable options to play on the flanks. The midfield conundrum remained and England have never really found a number 9 since Michael Owen, but out wide you had Joe Cole, Aaron Lennon, Ashleigh Young, Theo Walcott and Adam Johnson all in form and impressing. Now only Theo Walcott remains of that group to have a chance of going to the World Cup, and he wants to play as a striker. Injuries and confidence eroded the form of Cole some time ago, whilst Lennon never looked as comfortable in the white of England as he did at Spurs. But few players have faced such career nose dives as Young and Johnson. Two years ago the former was England’s best player in qualifying for the European Championships. He’d just moved to United and had started his career in fine style; creating chances, winning penalties without the aid of absurd swan dives and scoring goals. Since that opening season he hasn’t scored at all, a barren run now stretching over 30 matches. He has become the poster child for cheating and his career looks, if not over, in huge need of a change of direction. Johnson has fared arguably even worse. Not because he’s been playing badly per se, but because people seem to have genuinely forgot that he exists. Playing in a team who have won less than 10% of their matches since his arrival has not helped, but Johnson still has ability in his locker and, at 25, remains somebody who could yet turn his career around. So now England’s options, besides Walcott, seemingly consist of Andros Townsend and Adam Lallana, both fine prospects, but two people who have only been capped in the last few weeks. Oxlaide Chamberlain is a talent, but an injury prone one. And then there is James Milner. Which is so depressing a thought I’m just going to end this here…

3. If referees should be consistent, why can’t managers?
If there’s a cliché that gets thrown around more than “referees need to be consistent” I’m yet to hear it. Referees will continue to get things wrong because they are human and are expected to make decisions in less than a second. Plus it’s hard to be consistent, week in week out, with nine other people all taking charge of different matches each with their own set of unique circumstances. No, what I’d like to see more of is much easier and attainable… and that’s manager consistency. It’s part and parcel of the game that there will be times when you get a decision that goes for you and times that you don’t. But do managers really have to be so, so obvious with their post-match analysis? There have been some absolute howlers from referees these last few weeks, yet no manager has had the courage to come out and lambast a referee for making the wrong call in their favour. Jose Mourinho may have been correct regarding his apology rant, but he certainly wasn’t correct by claiming that Ramires deserved a penalty for falling over as the opposition player got within a yard of him. Would it really have hurt Roberto Martinez this weekend, after just witnessing his team be involved in the game of the season, to put his hands up and say he was very lucky that Mirallas didn’t get sent off? No, instead the usually affable Spaniard claimed he “didn’t think it was a red.” Really Roberto? I’d hate to see what you do consider a red card if a wild, knee high lunge isn’t worthy of one. But if I’m going to single out anyone it has to be Mark Hughes. Fresh from getting a point at Swansea with the most invisible penalty decision in the history of the game (“I can see why the ref gave it,” mused Mark – no… no you can’t) – Hughes followed that up this week by claiming Wes Brown deserved to be sent off for a challenge that took precisely none of the man and all of the ball. It was “reckless” claimed Mark. When it wasn’t, it was merely fast. It was a “poor challenge,” he added. It wasn’t, it was a great challenge. “It took the shine off our performance, we played really well today.” No they didn’t. Sunderland dominated the game early and were undone by a decision that will be overturned within 3 seconds of an appeal. I understand football is all about mind games and managers defending their players… but for fucks sake guys, there is surely no harm in admitting you got a lucky break once in a while. It will make next week’s rant when you do get a howler far more credible for starters.

4. Man City are now barely credible
City’s record doesn’t tell the whole story, but it still paints a decent picture so it’s worth mentioning it straight up. At home it reads played 6, won 6, scored 26 (26!) and conceded 2. Away from home it’s played 6, won 1, drawn 1, lost 4; scoring 8 and conceding 10. That’s a big difference whichever way you look it and you’d be hard pushed to find two back to back games that highlight the difference more than the two City have just played. Anaemic and gutless at Sunderland, City once again tore into a team on their own patch from the moment the whistle was blown. AVB is a meticulous tactician so he must have known City were going to come at his team from the off? Was this really the game to throw Erik Lamela into? City, and Aguero, Nasri and Toure in particular are as ruthless at home as they are toothless away. Which begs the question… why? This is a team which now has a goal difference the same as their points tally. A team which boasts, in Aguero, the only current candidate for player of the year with Aaron Ramsey. City have Swansea next before three away fixtures and Arsenal. You feel that Pellegrini has to get 10 points from that run if his team are going to be considered a genuine title threat. At the moment, they remain a curious and wonderfully entertaining enigma. I hope for Michael Laudrup’s sake he has done his research going into next Sunday. Here’s a clue. For the first ten minutes. Just. Keep. The. Ball.

5. Who is the worst striker in the league?
This season has been dominated by strikers so far with Sturridge, Suarez, Aguero, Remy, Van Persie, Rooney, Lukaku and Giroud all banging in the goals. Only Aaaron Ramsey is averaging a goal every other game as a midfielder, a far cry from last year when the likes of Mata, Hazard, Walcott, Santi and Bale were helping themselves to goals a plenty. But at the other end of the spectrum some are struggling worse than ever. Berbatov has scored once in over 15 hours. Cisse hasn’t scored at all in 11. But when comparing the worst of the lot three in particular stand out, all from clubs propping up the foot of the table. The first is Modibo Maiga, who has not scored for West Ham this season and has played so badly that his manager would rather play no striker at all, at home, then put him in the starting line-up. His confidence probably not helped further by missing an open goal on Saturday. Marouane Chamakh is well used to be slated in blogs up and down the country, mainly because he is a truly terrible footballer. But, crucially because he has scored two premier league goals in three years. And then, finally, there is Jozy Altidore. Who is yet to score for Sunderland since joining them for a barely credible £7.5m. The American had previously flopped at Hull a few years back and has so far scored a single Premier League goal in… wait for it… 35 hours. Just to break that down. That’s the equivalent of watching the entire extended version of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, three times over. With the Hobbit chucked in for good measure. But seriously if you want to go home and recreate Altidore’s feat, consider one thing. Don’t watch the Hobbit. It was shit.

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