1. £3Billion’s worth
of total and utter rubbish.
With three weeks of the season gone and the transfer window, unforgivably, still open; it’s safe to say this has been the worst August in the history of English top flight football. A safe enough statement given it’s only recently that the season has been stretched to start so early. Last weekend was pretty bad, but this time around the viewing public were treated to just 13 goals and not a single game of genuine merit. Over £500m will have been spent on new players by close of play tomorrow and barely a penny of it contributed to a goal or inspiring bit of play this weekend. What rare moments of quality there were came from established stars like Toure and Ben Arfa, or from Jermaine Pennant. I’ll say that again. From Jermaine Pennant. The transfer window has been a huge distraction but aside from that there have never been more “new” managers in the league. Over half of the teams in the division have managers that have barely or never managed a game in this league with their current club. A slightly convoluted sentence I’ll give you, but one in which I was able to include 11 of the current entrants into the hallowed cash cow that is the Premier League. This season smacks of one which hasn’t got going yet and come Sept 14th that needs to change and fast. Already falling behind the German and Spanish league, the last thing the league needs is for the cash rich French to overtake it also. The Premier League hasn’t attracted the best talent over the past few years but has got by on entertainment and drama. 30 goals across the last 20 fixtures isn’t going to cut it. Shape up lads.
With three weeks of the season gone and the transfer window, unforgivably, still open; it’s safe to say this has been the worst August in the history of English top flight football. A safe enough statement given it’s only recently that the season has been stretched to start so early. Last weekend was pretty bad, but this time around the viewing public were treated to just 13 goals and not a single game of genuine merit. Over £500m will have been spent on new players by close of play tomorrow and barely a penny of it contributed to a goal or inspiring bit of play this weekend. What rare moments of quality there were came from established stars like Toure and Ben Arfa, or from Jermaine Pennant. I’ll say that again. From Jermaine Pennant. The transfer window has been a huge distraction but aside from that there have never been more “new” managers in the league. Over half of the teams in the division have managers that have barely or never managed a game in this league with their current club. A slightly convoluted sentence I’ll give you, but one in which I was able to include 11 of the current entrants into the hallowed cash cow that is the Premier League. This season smacks of one which hasn’t got going yet and come Sept 14th that needs to change and fast. Already falling behind the German and Spanish league, the last thing the league needs is for the cash rich French to overtake it also. The Premier League hasn’t attracted the best talent over the past few years but has got by on entertainment and drama. 30 goals across the last 20 fixtures isn’t going to cut it. Shape up lads.
2. David Moyes is
going to have to learn very, very fast.
It’s very early days into the reign of David Moyes, but for those who questioned his appointment it’s safe to say that every single reason they had for doing so has already come out to say hi. No presence in the transfer market? Check. Undervaluing of players? Check. Solid defence in the absence of creativity? Check. No idea how to manage strikers? Check. Absolutely appalling when playing away at Anfield? Check. United’s performance earlier today could, at best be described as terrible. At worst? As bad as I've seen this football club play in a derby for over twenty years. Liverpool played Utd off the park for 45 minutes before realising that, actually, one was enough all along. The second half was played out with an almost embarrassing ease as Liverpool barely broke sweat (the excellent Daniel Agger aside) keeping a Utd side so devoid of attacking nous it bordered on the criminal. With Wayne Rooney injured the decision to not even include Shinji Kagawa in the squad seemed perverse. Nani came on for twenty minutes and looked as bad as any footballer could ever hope to look. Which at least set a new benchmark for everyone else. Moyes now has 24 hours to buy some midfielders and then two weeks to set this Utd team up as a fluid, attacking unit ready for the next set of games. Nobody expected anything but decline following Ferguson’s retirement… but I suppose one hoped it wouldn’t be quite so soon.
It’s very early days into the reign of David Moyes, but for those who questioned his appointment it’s safe to say that every single reason they had for doing so has already come out to say hi. No presence in the transfer market? Check. Undervaluing of players? Check. Solid defence in the absence of creativity? Check. No idea how to manage strikers? Check. Absolutely appalling when playing away at Anfield? Check. United’s performance earlier today could, at best be described as terrible. At worst? As bad as I've seen this football club play in a derby for over twenty years. Liverpool played Utd off the park for 45 minutes before realising that, actually, one was enough all along. The second half was played out with an almost embarrassing ease as Liverpool barely broke sweat (the excellent Daniel Agger aside) keeping a Utd side so devoid of attacking nous it bordered on the criminal. With Wayne Rooney injured the decision to not even include Shinji Kagawa in the squad seemed perverse. Nani came on for twenty minutes and looked as bad as any footballer could ever hope to look. Which at least set a new benchmark for everyone else. Moyes now has 24 hours to buy some midfielders and then two weeks to set this Utd team up as a fluid, attacking unit ready for the next set of games. Nobody expected anything but decline following Ferguson’s retirement… but I suppose one hoped it wouldn’t be quite so soon.
3. Spurs are far from
the finished article.
Spurs fans who have spent the last month laughing at Arsenal after lavishly splurging over £100m in the transfer market look away now. It takes time to gel a team of course, and today’s match gives no real indication which of these teams will finish higher come May, but the fact remains that for all Spurs talk and bluster they head into week four without having scored a goal in open play. A record boasted by nobody in the league but themselves. The odd goal mouth scramble aside, that never looked like changing against an Arsenal side torn apart by Aston Villa a fortnight ago. The Gunners look calm and composed and deserved to win the game by more on the counter attack. The Bale saga has dragged on to epic proportions and on paper Spurs have bought well. But the Welshman scored or created almost all his sides goals in 2013 and a few more people are going to have to step up to the plate to plug the hole his absence has created. Spurs look better defensively than they’ve ever looked, but AVB is far from the expansive manager he often pretends to be. His 4-2-3-1 currently features Paulinho in the number 10 role, who last time I checked was a holding midfielder. Townsend looks a talent, all be it a selfish one, but as they did last season when he didn’t play Spurs already look to be missing the pace and directness of Lennon. Him and Walker were the best right sided partnership in the league last season and the full back looks a little bit lost without him. Spurs have signed some excellent players, but how they will all fit into a balanced team together still looks unclear. Two weeks with the entire squad away on International duty should help. Oh wait.
Spurs fans who have spent the last month laughing at Arsenal after lavishly splurging over £100m in the transfer market look away now. It takes time to gel a team of course, and today’s match gives no real indication which of these teams will finish higher come May, but the fact remains that for all Spurs talk and bluster they head into week four without having scored a goal in open play. A record boasted by nobody in the league but themselves. The odd goal mouth scramble aside, that never looked like changing against an Arsenal side torn apart by Aston Villa a fortnight ago. The Gunners look calm and composed and deserved to win the game by more on the counter attack. The Bale saga has dragged on to epic proportions and on paper Spurs have bought well. But the Welshman scored or created almost all his sides goals in 2013 and a few more people are going to have to step up to the plate to plug the hole his absence has created. Spurs look better defensively than they’ve ever looked, but AVB is far from the expansive manager he often pretends to be. His 4-2-3-1 currently features Paulinho in the number 10 role, who last time I checked was a holding midfielder. Townsend looks a talent, all be it a selfish one, but as they did last season when he didn’t play Spurs already look to be missing the pace and directness of Lennon. Him and Walker were the best right sided partnership in the league last season and the full back looks a little bit lost without him. Spurs have signed some excellent players, but how they will all fit into a balanced team together still looks unclear. Two weeks with the entire squad away on International duty should help. Oh wait.
4. Who has hidden the
midfield maestros?
What do Mata, Carzola, Walcott, Hazard, Coutinho, Gerrard, Navas, Michu, Snodgrass, Fellaini, Schurrle, Young, Pienaar, Miralles & Johnson have in common? They haven’t scored a goal yet this season. Infact, 21 of the 25 most expensive midfielders on fantasy football (a solid source of quality if ever there was one) have yet to score this season. 18 of them haven’t even managed an assist. I don’t mention this point because I’m a bitter fantasy football manager. I mention this because… ah who I am kidding. Seriously lads… SHAPE UP.
What do Mata, Carzola, Walcott, Hazard, Coutinho, Gerrard, Navas, Michu, Snodgrass, Fellaini, Schurrle, Young, Pienaar, Miralles & Johnson have in common? They haven’t scored a goal yet this season. Infact, 21 of the 25 most expensive midfielders on fantasy football (a solid source of quality if ever there was one) have yet to score this season. 18 of them haven’t even managed an assist. I don’t mention this point because I’m a bitter fantasy football manager. I mention this because… ah who I am kidding. Seriously lads… SHAPE UP.
5. Watch out
Sunderland… the implosion is coming.
The implosionometer ™ swung firmly back round from Newcastle to Sunderland this week following their dramatic late collapse at Palace as the Geordies were bailed out by Ben Arfa’s magical boot. Sunderland looked in control for most of the second half against Palace and it was hard to see how they could end of losing the game. But then… IMPLOSION. A red card for their captain, some calamitous defending and the Mackems were looking at just 1 point from 3 very winnable opening fixtures. Di Canio’s comments post match was the stuff of journalistic dreams. Despite having signed an entirely new team (12 at current count and indeed having signed more players than any current top flight club over the past four years) the Italian described his team as “pathetic” and that it was “obvious” he needed new faces. You know when your mate starts going out with a girl who’s like, obviously bad news and you know isn't remotely suitable for him. There’s always that moment isn't there when you probably feel you should just tell them straight from the start rather than watch as the relationship inevitably hits the rocks via several car crashes. But you never do, because you’re a mate and there’s that small part of you which thinks… maybe, just maybe she’ll change and it all might work out. Well Sunderland fans… this is me… telling you… that Paulo Di Canio is not going to change. He is not going to be a great manager for you and he will get sacked at some stage as manager of your football club. The only question is how much damage will he have done before that happens. Or whether Newcastle will implode first. I suppose there’s always that.
The implosionometer ™ swung firmly back round from Newcastle to Sunderland this week following their dramatic late collapse at Palace as the Geordies were bailed out by Ben Arfa’s magical boot. Sunderland looked in control for most of the second half against Palace and it was hard to see how they could end of losing the game. But then… IMPLOSION. A red card for their captain, some calamitous defending and the Mackems were looking at just 1 point from 3 very winnable opening fixtures. Di Canio’s comments post match was the stuff of journalistic dreams. Despite having signed an entirely new team (12 at current count and indeed having signed more players than any current top flight club over the past four years) the Italian described his team as “pathetic” and that it was “obvious” he needed new faces. You know when your mate starts going out with a girl who’s like, obviously bad news and you know isn't remotely suitable for him. There’s always that moment isn't there when you probably feel you should just tell them straight from the start rather than watch as the relationship inevitably hits the rocks via several car crashes. But you never do, because you’re a mate and there’s that small part of you which thinks… maybe, just maybe she’ll change and it all might work out. Well Sunderland fans… this is me… telling you… that Paulo Di Canio is not going to change. He is not going to be a great manager for you and he will get sacked at some stage as manager of your football club. The only question is how much damage will he have done before that happens. Or whether Newcastle will implode first. I suppose there’s always that.
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