1. Newcastle v Liverpool retains the power to thrill
Over the course of many Premier League seasons, Newcastle v Liverpool has long
delivered goals, drama and entertainment. Saturday was no exception, although
it was possibly the most one sided affair in 20 seasons of the top flight. This
was a match that almost deserved its own 5 things. From the brilliance of Coutinho
through to calamitous defending, this was a match which even provided
entertainment in the post-match comments (the always amusing Steven Taylor
claiming the result was like a “family death.”) It also once again showed us
the maddening inconsistency of Liverpool. Having not played well for three
games and failing to score in two of them, the Reds shook off the loss of Luis
Suarez and hammered six past the Toon with some scintillating attacking play
coupled with defending that made an art form of the term “stand off him.”
Liverpool remain on course to finish in the position nobody cares about, 7th.
A position which is unlikely to convince their star player to stick around for
another year, especially with the FA taking a bite out of 20% of next season’s
league games. Much has been written already of the Suarez incident, so I don’t
feel compelled to labour the point here. The act was stupid and spiteful and
the punishment ludicrous. The only thing more ludicrous is the victim mentality
of Liverpool football club. It has long since been endearing and is now
spilling over to farce. It is not other people’s fault you employ a talented
yet racist, sewer rat on your books. More of a concern right now is the Premier
League survival of Newcastle United. They remain far from safe with three games
left to secure the win which will likely retain their top flight status next
year. The contract given to Pardew and the faith shown in him and the players
is now starting to look a mite generous. But still, they’ll probably beat QPR
and survive and all will be ok again. And then this match will ultimately be
insignificant. Unlike this one, which remains the greatest match the league has
ever thrown up. 5 minutes spare? Treat yourself…
2. The Championship is too good a league for QPR &
Reading
If there was any justice, both these clubs would bypass the entertainment of the Championship and be relegated straight to League One as punishment for their attempts at survival this year. Reading lacked ambition and ability from the off, which is fine if you at least show loyalty and are trying to build a team which will come straight back up. But they sacked their manager for no reason and haven’t won a game since they did. QPR are on the other hand are a disgrace to English football. Their players should be made to walk through the streets of London naked whilst they’re pelted with rotten fruit & veg. QPR have a team made up of Champions League & Title Winners, as well as young and supposedly talented players who have underachieved in a spectacular fashion this season. The sight of their goalkeeper making no attempt to rush to take a goal kick in 90th minute said it all. The sight of the detestable Jose Bosingwa laughing as he walked off the pitch even more so. Redknapp & Fernandes have maintained a united front since the defeat, but I’ll be shocked to see either at the club come August, let alone several of their “star” players. You could ponder for a good hour over your “worst eleven” this year but it would be simpler to make them all QPR players. When Joey Barton, a disgraced midfielder relegated to play in the French league because he behaved so badly, can actually take the moral high ground against what he left behind… fuck me you really are in trouble.
If there was any justice, both these clubs would bypass the entertainment of the Championship and be relegated straight to League One as punishment for their attempts at survival this year. Reading lacked ambition and ability from the off, which is fine if you at least show loyalty and are trying to build a team which will come straight back up. But they sacked their manager for no reason and haven’t won a game since they did. QPR are on the other hand are a disgrace to English football. Their players should be made to walk through the streets of London naked whilst they’re pelted with rotten fruit & veg. QPR have a team made up of Champions League & Title Winners, as well as young and supposedly talented players who have underachieved in a spectacular fashion this season. The sight of their goalkeeper making no attempt to rush to take a goal kick in 90th minute said it all. The sight of the detestable Jose Bosingwa laughing as he walked off the pitch even more so. Redknapp & Fernandes have maintained a united front since the defeat, but I’ll be shocked to see either at the club come August, let alone several of their “star” players. You could ponder for a good hour over your “worst eleven” this year but it would be simpler to make them all QPR players. When Joey Barton, a disgraced midfielder relegated to play in the French league because he behaved so badly, can actually take the moral high ground against what he left behind… fuck me you really are in trouble.
3. Can Match of the Day sink any lower?
No sports show on television is more in need of a makeover than Match of the Day. The format look tired five years ago and has got worse since. Other stations have upped their game, employing genuine pundits like Gary Neville, or stealing the BBC’s best one, Lee Dixon. Indeed, the level of analysis and entertainment provided by the likes of the Guardian Podcast is incomparable, so far removed from the vidi printer on a sofa approach that MOTD still favours that it’s not even worth crossing that bridge. This week we had Phil Neville and Alan Shearer talk absolute nonsense for an hour, providing us with the sort of tactical insight that a ten year old could give me. The commentator and slow motion replay has already told me it was clearly offside lads, I don’t need you to tell me that again? The BBC have often responded to criticism of the show by claiming that because they analyse multiple matches, they don’t have the time that Sky do analysing one. What utter garbage. For starters the BBC coverage is no better when dealing with one off FA Cup or International matches. But the more pressing reason is surely that the people employed to sit on the Match of the Day sofa just don’t care enough. Earlier on in the season, Gary Neville dedicated 5 whole minutes on the Monday Night Match to analyse a Stoke set piece goal. Neville showed how the goal wasn’t just a simple set piece move, but a carefully worked training ground routine that involved no fewer than five Stoke players getting their movements/actions right at the correct time to score the goal. It was a masterstroke of insight the likes of which Alan Shearer could never have provided. This was one such example that MOTD used to show how they didn’t have the time to go into such detail. Why not? Neville prepared the analysis during a 3 minute advert break, the BBC team have over 3 hours. Yes he went into lengthy detail, but anyone sat on the MOTD couch could have dissected it down into a 60 second segment with the same effect? No, instead we are made to watch a 60 second montage of the same fucking highlights again with somebody telling us who we already knew was the man of the match. Match of the Day is a show produced and starring lazy, over paid idiots who know nothing about the tactical side of the game or what it’s like to be a current top flight footballer or manager. It is a show which needs to be called out for what it is. Fucking Shit. That I give my license money each month to pay for it is a crime.
No sports show on television is more in need of a makeover than Match of the Day. The format look tired five years ago and has got worse since. Other stations have upped their game, employing genuine pundits like Gary Neville, or stealing the BBC’s best one, Lee Dixon. Indeed, the level of analysis and entertainment provided by the likes of the Guardian Podcast is incomparable, so far removed from the vidi printer on a sofa approach that MOTD still favours that it’s not even worth crossing that bridge. This week we had Phil Neville and Alan Shearer talk absolute nonsense for an hour, providing us with the sort of tactical insight that a ten year old could give me. The commentator and slow motion replay has already told me it was clearly offside lads, I don’t need you to tell me that again? The BBC have often responded to criticism of the show by claiming that because they analyse multiple matches, they don’t have the time that Sky do analysing one. What utter garbage. For starters the BBC coverage is no better when dealing with one off FA Cup or International matches. But the more pressing reason is surely that the people employed to sit on the Match of the Day sofa just don’t care enough. Earlier on in the season, Gary Neville dedicated 5 whole minutes on the Monday Night Match to analyse a Stoke set piece goal. Neville showed how the goal wasn’t just a simple set piece move, but a carefully worked training ground routine that involved no fewer than five Stoke players getting their movements/actions right at the correct time to score the goal. It was a masterstroke of insight the likes of which Alan Shearer could never have provided. This was one such example that MOTD used to show how they didn’t have the time to go into such detail. Why not? Neville prepared the analysis during a 3 minute advert break, the BBC team have over 3 hours. Yes he went into lengthy detail, but anyone sat on the MOTD couch could have dissected it down into a 60 second segment with the same effect? No, instead we are made to watch a 60 second montage of the same fucking highlights again with somebody telling us who we already knew was the man of the match. Match of the Day is a show produced and starring lazy, over paid idiots who know nothing about the tactical side of the game or what it’s like to be a current top flight footballer or manager. It is a show which needs to be called out for what it is. Fucking Shit. That I give my license money each month to pay for it is a crime.
4. Arsenal fans can have no complaints
After the faintly awkward and needlessly much discussed “guard of honour” - Arsenal fans settled into a steady rhythm of booing the returning Robin Van Persie. It was an action that whilst inevitable, smacked of bitterness and misplaced anger. Van Persie was always going to get more money elsewhere, but that is the fault of Arsenal’s wage cap not anybody else’s. The player has been vocal about his desire to win trophies and the Dutchman has matured pleasingly over the past few seasons. Unlike say Samir Nasri, there has been no pointless rubbing victory in the faces of his old comrades and you get the sense that the reasons for his move were genuine. That he has gone on to win a title at his first attempt justifies his decision to move and if Arsenal still finish 4th justifies their decision to sell. Arsenal with Van Persie would still have finished no higher than 3rd, so why are Arsenal fans so angry with him for having left? No, the real problem is a squad that is systematically being weakened by poor signings and a mentality that now seeps through the team that this a club that has forgotten how to win anything. That and Bacary Sagna, who is now the worst fullback in the entire league.
After the faintly awkward and needlessly much discussed “guard of honour” - Arsenal fans settled into a steady rhythm of booing the returning Robin Van Persie. It was an action that whilst inevitable, smacked of bitterness and misplaced anger. Van Persie was always going to get more money elsewhere, but that is the fault of Arsenal’s wage cap not anybody else’s. The player has been vocal about his desire to win trophies and the Dutchman has matured pleasingly over the past few seasons. Unlike say Samir Nasri, there has been no pointless rubbing victory in the faces of his old comrades and you get the sense that the reasons for his move were genuine. That he has gone on to win a title at his first attempt justifies his decision to move and if Arsenal still finish 4th justifies their decision to sell. Arsenal with Van Persie would still have finished no higher than 3rd, so why are Arsenal fans so angry with him for having left? No, the real problem is a squad that is systematically being weakened by poor signings and a mentality that now seeps through the team that this a club that has forgotten how to win anything. That and Bacary Sagna, who is now the worst fullback in the entire league.
5. Are Swansea the new Charlton?
Swansea haven’t won since the 2nd March and have scored just four goals in their last seven games. The League Cup winners aren’t so much limping over the finish line but crawling towards it like my 7 month old daughter… who is still learning to crawl. Whilst they could not win again all season (and on this form, probably won’t) – this will still have been a richly successful one for Michael Laudrup’s men. But even so, do players have to be so visibly disinterested once they know they’re safe from relegation but outside of the top six? Michu may as well be on holiday already and at the risk of questioning the integrity of the league, would teams not be better served blooding youth or squad players in these latter matches? After all, if the league is going to limit the amount of people you can have on your books at any time, you should be able to use those people freely and without sanction. Man Utd v Swansea is a genuine dead rubber in a fortnight and I for one would like to see two, under 23 teams put out. Then at least you’d have people playing as if it mattered rather than just collecting their wages and waiting for their summer vacation.
Swansea haven’t won since the 2nd March and have scored just four goals in their last seven games. The League Cup winners aren’t so much limping over the finish line but crawling towards it like my 7 month old daughter… who is still learning to crawl. Whilst they could not win again all season (and on this form, probably won’t) – this will still have been a richly successful one for Michael Laudrup’s men. But even so, do players have to be so visibly disinterested once they know they’re safe from relegation but outside of the top six? Michu may as well be on holiday already and at the risk of questioning the integrity of the league, would teams not be better served blooding youth or squad players in these latter matches? After all, if the league is going to limit the amount of people you can have on your books at any time, you should be able to use those people freely and without sanction. Man Utd v Swansea is a genuine dead rubber in a fortnight and I for one would like to see two, under 23 teams put out. Then at least you’d have people playing as if it mattered rather than just collecting their wages and waiting for their summer vacation.
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