Five Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Week - Week Seventeen

1. Fellaini might be heading for the exit.
Marouane Fellaini was hit with a three match batch yesterday for a cowardly and barely defensible head-butt on Ryan Shawcross. I say barely, because head-butting anybody who fights plays for Stoke is understandable in some capacity. The irony of course, is that having now set himself up to miss the festive period, the Big Belgian, who hardly boasts a brilliant disciplinary record already, could well find himself moving to a new club quicker than before. It was thought by some that Fellaini would see out the season at Everton and then make a move south, probably to Chelsea to join their latest revolution and adding some steel to their currently fast footed but arguably light weight midfield. Now though, open season appears to have been declared by the player’s agent following rumours that Fellaini has told Moyes he wants to leave. Arguably the player of the season so far, Fellaini would command a place at most of Europe’s top clubs, although reinventing himself as a number 10 has meant he would be competing for such a role with the likes of Messi, Ozil, Rooney, Silva and Mata. It will be interesting therefore not only to see where he goes, but where he plays. Indeed, one look at the central midfield of Chelsea, Arsenal and both Manchester clubs presents a great chance for anyone with a passing interest in being a DM to step in and step up. If there is a poorer represented position amongst the top clubs I’m yet to find it. Say the words Michael Carrick, Gareth Barry & John Obi Mikel and then Barcelona, Munich, Real… you just laugh don’t you.

2. Liverpool could do with Christian Benteke.
After a mini revival of late, Liverpool were brought down to earth with a bump this weekend with one of the results of the season so far. Failing to win at Anfield has been common place for a while now, but being soundly beaten by Azzzton Villa ranked as the worst result since Brendan Rodgers took over. Rodgers complained about people being tired afterwards, but has only himself to blame for refusing to rotate and either ostracising or selling 50% of his squad in the summer. Villa meanwhile, despite floundering near the bottom of the table, appear to have pulled off a real coup with the signing of Benteke. The Belgian is young, strong, and fast and seems to be adapting to the league after an initially wasteful start. With 8 goals in 16 appearances, as well as a couple for the national team, he surely won’t be at a club of the ambition of Villa for more than a season or two. Liverpool of course, still being a “big club” will instead spend their hard earned cash on Daniel Sturridge this January. For no reason.

3. Eight years looks like a very long time.
Loyalty is not common in this sport, so Newcastle’s decision to award Alan Pardew with an eight year contract this summer was as much of a statement against that culture as anything else. Talk of him now getting the sack is ludicrously premature, but there’s no escaping the fact that Newcastle are having an appalling season so far. Transfers didn’t happen, injuries have mounted up and on the pitch there has been no fluency or rhythm for too long. One win in eleven speaks for itself and Pardew is running out of ways to claim he saw signs of improvement to take into the next game. Right now Newcastle aren’t taking anything into the next game and without the goals of Demba Ba they’d currently be bottom of the table. As it is, they sit two points above the relegation zone with a horrific Christmas schedule to look forward to. It might be even colder than usual in the Toon this year, and that contract will start to look very long indeed if Newcastle are still struggling come March. Of course, should he get sacked Pardew always has his day job of tending to the armies of Hell to fall back on.

4. Sky need to have a range of names for their Sunday viewing.
I remember watching Sky’s inaugural “Super Sunday” in a pub in Bath sometime around a decade ago. Liverpool played Man Utd, and Arsenal matched up against Chelsea. These were games that actually mattered in what was, at that stage, a four horse race for the title. I can’t remember the results, but the point was it was a “Super Sunday” of top four, top flight football. Since then, Sky have rolled out this “event” to every single time there are two televised games side by side on the Sabbath. In short, the magic isn’t there anymore. It certainly wasn’t there this weekend, as West Brom, West Ham, Spurs and Swansea managed a single goal between them in games that were only notable for Frankie Curran losing £25 and myself making the mystifyingly idiotic decision to have a Spurs player as my fantasy football captain. “Sedentary Sunday” would have been more fitting, but Sky either need to downplay some of the games that aren’t as vital for titles, trophies and relegation or come up with something even bigger to describe matches that… oh shit… that’s what they’re going to do isn’t it? What have I done…  

5. Reading are, for lack of a better word, fucked.
Bottom of the league and having been subjected to a series of heavy defeats, I watched Readings match against Arsenal last night and found myself unable to mount a single credible reason why they could stay in the Premier League. The first 45 minutes was just about the worst I’d witnessed all season and the second half only got better in the sense that they actually began to attack once they’d conceded the 4^th goal. Reading have lost six on the bounce and have shipped a ridiculous 36 goals across a campaign that has shown them to be hopelessly out of their depth. Terrible at the back and lacking in any real guile, the Royals have far too many championship standard players throughout their squad, which should at least make the transition easier come May. In fact I’m willing to state that if they survive I will donate £100 to charity. Sadly for Reading fans, I can’t give them a new defence, new midfield, new strike force… or any Premier League points.