5 Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Week - Week Seventeen

1. Liverpool are out of line
Whatever you think of the decision by the FA to ban Luiz Suarez, it is clear to all concerned that this is a delicate case centred around an important and sensitive issue. Liverpool’s reaction to rally around their player in public is fine, but not to the extent of wearing t-shirts which not only support their player but effectively say they don’t accept the FA’s decision in any way. And all this before the written reason for the ban has even been given. Pool and in particular Dalglish are treading very dangerously here, their actions are very close to saying “it’s ok to say racist comments, if you don’t think they’re offensive.” Were all those players really comfortable with the action taking? Luis Suarez is accused and charged with racially insulting Patrice Evra, which isn’t actually the same as being a racist. Indeed, Evra himself, despite countless and made up allegations that he has “history” at this commented last week that he “didn’t think Suarez was a racist, merely that his comments were unacceptable.” All Liverpool and Dalglish have done is tried to turn it around to make Evra the villain and set a dangerous precedent for how clubs tackle racism. The rift between the two clubs now has no chance of being healed anytime soon and the repercussions could be even further reaching. Suarez is probably guilty of no more than being a complete idiot, but Liverpool are now guilty of much more and without evidence. And on a final word on the subject, can somebody seriously shut Gus Poyet the hell up.

2. Steve Kean needs to be put out of his misery
In October last year Blackburn sat in 8^th place having consolidated under Big Sam and nobody would have labelled them relegation candidates. In came Kentucky Fried Chicken, ousted their dull but crucially competent manager and installed a bouncer with no experience of football whatsoever.  Over a year on and the club is in total disarray. The owners are clueless and invisible, the signings have been nonexistent and the decision to continue with the manager is now bordering on torture. There is only so much personal abuse one man can take and Steve Kean clearly has thick skin. For his own sake though, for his family’s sake... this just isn’t worth it. He needs to resign and leave whilst he still can. The club are going to get relegated, even with unlimited funds arriving in January (who on earth would want to go and play for them right now?). He has held himself with respect and dignity throughout everything that has happened but it is now genuinely painful to see him still going through the motions. He has... no... idea... what... he... is... doing. More worrying for Blackburn’s 18 fans is that removing Kean is merely the tip of the iceberg; and one that is almost certainly going to sink into the lower divisions over the next few years. Foreign owners, they’re great for the game I tell thee...

3. Alex Ferguson is really, really going to take some replacing.
It may seem like an obvious point, but once again Fergie has had to take a lot of criticism this season already for not buying or selecting the correct players and watching as Utd stumbled out of Europe and were trounced by City in the league. Despite that though, Utd are just a home win over Wigan away from totting up their highest ever half way points total with an absurd goal difference of plus 30 (which includes a 6-1 loss!). The difference hasn’t been Man Utd in the Premiership, it’s been Man City setting a Jose first season esque bar that, by rights, nobody else in the league should be able to compete with. That Utd are still just 2 points behind them is not a measure of their players but of their manager. Given Vidic is out for the season and City are well stocked in the “Rooney role” there is an argument that no current Utd player would even get in the City side. Fergie through sheer strength of will gets more out of his players than anyone. Utd will still probably finish short, especially as the injuries rack up, but it is to their credit that nobody would still bet against them. As a United fan, despite the mystifying decision not to buy a central midfielder, there’s still no doubt that Ferguson is the most important cog in the Old Trafford machine... when he goes, it’s open season and almost certainly decline. Here’s hoping he has great genes...

4. Forty points may not mean safety, but midtable.
With “team Manchester” picking up points at will and Spurs still enjoying fine form, the inevitable fall out of that means less points for those at the bottom. Judging by the half way totals, 40 points is likely to secure you 11^th or 12^th this year not 17^th. Indeed, it is conceivable that somebody could survive on 30 or 32 points the way the teams near the bottom are playing. Whilst it looks like the bottom three are still in deep trouble, Wolves remain far from safe and QPR have been dragged downwards, perhaps not helped by Neil Warnock’s continued disregard for defending at home. Watching Blackburn v Bolton in an ill stupor on Tuesday night I can confirm that both teams... are really, really shit. Safety, may only be one good run of form away.

5. It’s always important to remember things like...
Fernando Torres - £50m
Andy Carroll - £35m
Demba Ba – Free

Merry Christmas.

5 Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Sixteen

1. Christmas came early at the Etihad Stadium
The scoreline told not even a tenth of the picture here in what was hands down the game of the season. Other matches may have seen goals galore but the flipside of that have been error strewn games with some of the most rancid defending seen in years. The quality level at the Etihad never dipped below top drawer in what was a pulsating and largely even contest for 90 brilliant minutes. Ultimately City won because their defence doesn’t defend such an absurdly high line, but Arsenal deserve enormous credit for not giving up and picking apart City’s back line several times, only to find Joe Hart in imperious form. As the English game is being questioned from all sides following the exits from the Champions League and the re-emergence of Serie A as a high quality division, this match could be held up as all that is still wonderful about the Premiership. All 22 players can hold their heads high; in what was one of those rare matches when everything else becomes secondary and you remember, simply, how exhilarating a sport football can be. A true Christmas cracker.

2. David Moyes team selection needs work.
I’m a big admirer of Moyes, he doesn’t tend to complain with his lot and he has coaxed fine performances time and time again from a team filled with players who largely would not get in any of so called bigger clubs. He is however, like most Glaswegians, a stubborn bastard and it is now costing his team. It probably isn’t a coincidence this season that Everton have regularly saved their best efforts for the last 20 minutes of matches. This is a less a compliment on their fitness levels, but on Moyes finally bringing people off the bench who probably should have started. This week, the continued and mystifying selection of Tim Cahil (statistically the worst “forward” in the league - 2011) was trumped by leaving Drenthe on the bench for Magaye Gueye. For what must be at least the 5^th time this season, Drenthe entered the fray and injected pace and power to an Everton team lacking in both. He created the equaliser and then almost scored the winner. Moyes... it’s time to stop picking your mates.

3. If Luiz Suarez could shoot he’d be the best player in the world.
No player has had more shots this season than Luiz Suarez. No player has hit the woodwork more. No player has created more chances for himself. No player has won more man of the match awards. But the cold hard facts are that Suarez has scored 5 goals in 16 games. Hardly the world’s worst return, but on the one currency that strikers are judged, he is currently not as good as Grant Holt, Steve Morison and Heider Helguson. There is an argument to say he’s been unlucky and that a streak is just around the corner. However people were saying that ten games ago and on Sunday he still contrived to hit the bar, post and fluff two more clear chances. Perhaps it’s just as well, in every other aspect of his game he’s currently the best player in the league. His touch and vision are sublime and he has the added bonus of pantomime charm. Still young, you wonder how far Liverpool could go if they could actually get him and Carroll scoring goals regularly.

4. Hillsborough is worth going to again.
The stock of Sheffield’s football teams has never been lower (in my lifetime) then it was at the end of last season when United, joined Wednesday in the 3^rd flight. As the New Year looms though, some sense of pride has at least been injected back into the city with the clubs lying in 2^nd and 3^rd and firmly on the tails of the runaway Charlton. Better than that though, Hillsborough has finally become the entertaining fortress it was of old. Wednesday have played 10, won 8 and drawn 2 at home and this Saturday saw one of the games of the season as Huddersfield took a 2 nil lead, before conceding 4 and then coming back with an equaliser scored so late it would have made Alex Ferguson shudder. Almost 30,000 watched the game, around 25,000 more than watched Blackburn & Wigan two divisions higher up. The steel city is far from back just yet, but this is certainly a start.

5. Mario Balotelli, the gift that just keeps giving.

Whatever you think of “Super” Mario – only Garth Crookes, a man whose opinion on football is worth less to me than Gwyneth Paltrow’s, could deny his place in the Premier League gives us box office week in week out.  In the last two months alone Balotelli has been sent off, won matches, scored wonder goals, had two training ground bust ups, destroyed his own home, broke curfew, had some audacious hissy fits and smiled twice. Sunday was relatively subdued by his standards but there was still the bizarre sight of him, Sammi Nasri and Theo Walcott in hysterics at him telling a joke before kick off... followed by the obligatory ground thump when he missed one, superbly created chance. All of this however, pales into insignificance with the rumour that his pregame preparation saw him dress up as Santa Claus and give money out on the streets of Manchester. If that is even partly true then that is just a brilliant story. One supposes that like Santa himself, we will never find out the whole truth...  For now, for all his boo hiss qualities, only a fool would want to see Mario exit the league stage left.

5 Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Fifteen

1. Norwich don’t look out of place.
Having not splashed the cash in the transfer window like QPR and thus far overshadowed by the praise for Swansea’s passing style and home fortress, it’s high time Norwich were given some credit. Sitting pretty in the top half on 19 points, the Canaries have performed admirably and won pretty much every game against teams beneath them.  They’ve also scored plenty of goals. Grant Holt may look like someone who belongs in the cast of a dungeons and dragon enactment, but if you put the crosses in he’ll get on the end of them. Granted Newcastle were patched up and shorn of their centre backs, but Norwich bullied them and were the better team throughout. Paul Lambert is doing a fine job and you suspect the clubs biggest task may now not be avoiding relegation, but retaining his services past the summer.

2. Van Persie takes another step towards greatness.
You have to wonder if Van Persie could always have been this good had he actually played a full season, or if this is truly a striker hitting his peak. The answer, as always is a little bit of both. There’s no doubting Robin is benefiting from a proper run of games, but this is also a different player and person to the obnoxious and arrogant Dutchman who first arrived in London. Unlike Fabregas, there is selflessness about RVP since he was made Captain. He is leading the line with verve and menace as is proving an inspiration to the entire team. On the verge of breaking the premier league record for goals scored in a calendar year, RVP is as currently as good as any striker playing in world football. His volley on Saturday being the sort of strike where it’s hard to say anything but a kind of drooling orgasm like sound. Scoring tap ins, headers and wonder goals... the man is a joy to watch and is a massive contender for David Silva’s alleged shoe in for player of the year.

3. The Irish are still lucky.
Luck is certainly something you couldn’t accuse Steve Kean of having right now, his team having thrown away more leads than anyone and on three separate occasions during injury time.  Yesterday Sunderland huffed and puffed and looked like they couldn’t blow the house down until two wonder strikes turned the game on its head.  Martin O’Neil would have been pleased by the effort and application of his new squad, but must be very concerned at the core levels of total mediocrity that Steve Bruce injected into Teeside this summer.  Sunderland possess at least 14 midfielders who could be described as “alright” – and that’s their strongest area. Still, his winning start condemned Steve Kean to another post match interview when he managed to find all the positives (almost not losing) and seem to have zero idea how to correct the negatives (Blackburn keep losing). Currently on a staggering stay of execution, it has to be said that for all their negative play at times, he is making Blackburn very compelling to watch in an entertainingly bad horror movie way.

4. Owen Coyle needs to sort it out.
Phil Gartside is one of the more loyal chairmen in the league and it still seems unlikely that he will part with a manager who remains young, local and positive... but Bolton’s form is now a full blown crisis. Bottom of the league as we hit the festive season, they are losing their best defender in the transfer window and remain incapable of stopping the opposition scoring. A large part of that is down to the continued and mystifying selection of Paul Robinson at full back. It’s been clear from the start that such a sham of a Premier League player was sleeping with the boss, but Owen Coyle can’t let how good Robinson is in the sack muddy his thoughts when it comes to selection. He’s currently the worst defender in the league, making horrific errors each week and not being able to actually run. Coyle has to be cruel to be kind, taking not just Robinson out of the team but finding a midfield that can actually play together rather than just picking the players he likes. Gael Kakuta could surely be given a chance to see what he can do. He might not be Daniel Sturridge, but he’s got to be better than Darren Pratley. Bolton’s four festive games are against Fulham, Blackburn, Newcastle and Wolves. If they don’t get at least 7 points from that it could be game over. There first four in January are Everton, Man Utd, Arsenal and Liverpool.

5. Neil Warnock is just having a laugh.
Since the QPR ownership situation was resolved and Warnock was given the vote of confidence, not to mention several pounds of cash to spend, the former Blades boss has been strutting around like a child who’s been given the keys to the sweetshop and cannot possible contain his happiness. Formally an antagonist, often furious post match interviewer, Warnock now is unable to keep the smile off his face whenever speaking to the media. He may as well be wearing a t-shirt that says “I’m a Premier League Manager and I love every single minute of it.” It’s incredibly pleasing to see someone enjoying their job so much, especially when it’s a job that most armchair critics like myself covet each week. Having already signed Joey Barton and made him captain “for a laugh” – Warnock even defended Luis Suarez this weekend saying he needs protection not persecution. The dour, forlorn manager is so last year and despite Mick McCarthy’s attempts to keep beating the drum that he has the hardest job in the world, you hope that more people take a leaf out of Warnock’s book and realise that managing a football club, working out your tactics, screaming at officials and taking Paddy Kenny to every team you go to... can actually be really fun.

Five Things we’ve learnt from the Champions League this week:

1. Roberto Mancini remains unconvincing in Europe.
Given Mancini’s track record with Inter, it’s probably not all that surprising that Manchester City are achieving league supremacy whilst crashing out of Europe early.  In six seasons now Mancini’s record lists two QF’s, two last 16’s and two group exits (in that order) – so he’s actually getting worse.  The league remains the number one title for any club to win, particularly City given the recent dominance by their neighbours, but that shouldn’t detract from what has to be seen as an early failure for a squad with so many world class players.  A laboured start to the group ultimately cost them and there’s no denying they got a tough draw.  The bad news?  Even if they win the league they’ll likely be in the 4^th pot again next time around so it’s not going to get any easier.  Mancini needs to return to the drawing board and try and find a formula to stop top teams scoring, especially away from home.  You can have all the goals you want in your own stadium, but the key to winning the Champions League has always been about grinding out clean sheets and away goals.  Until Mancini works out how to do that, City won’t be considered a serious threat in the world’s premier club competition.

2. The tournament can still spring surprises.
Just last year the group stages were being accused of being boring, wasteful and ultimately pointless as pretty much every year the same 14/15 teams qualified with maybe a couple of other teams taking turns to then get spanked in the last 16.  Not this year, aside from Man Utd’s epic fail and Lyons simply remarkable turnaround, the group stages saw some truly epic topsy turvy matches with the fate of almost every team in the balance until the closing half of every fixture (the exceptions being Barca and Madrid... who will surely contest the final unless they meet first).  The plaudits though, all belong to one team and one team alone.  Step forward APOEL – a team from Cyprus (that’s right... Cyprus) who not only managed to qualify, but WIN their group and thus avoid the big guns in the next round.   A phenomenal achievement and a real shock to the competition.  They deserve every bit of credit given to them and their success should be shown as an example to all about how far team spirit and unity can carry you.  Granted they also have some decent players, but I bet only Fozu could name any of them...

3. AVB should drop Frank Lampard every week.
Quite why it’s a big deal that a 33 year old player who is 2 years past anything like his best sits out the occasional game is beyond me, but there you go.  Fergie was never getting stick for rotating Scholes and Giggs at this age so it remains baffling that AVB should.  Given the only thing Frank Lampard now offers is the odd deflected shot, AVB’s decision to use younger, better players against Valencia was the correct one which thankfully (for him) was completely justified by both result and performance.  Chelsea’s midfield three were mobile and dominant, making the decision to field Mikel up to now laughable and the decision by Liverpool to ostracise Raul Merilies simply inexplicable.  Chelsea are unlikely to win the tournament, but Tuesday’s performance showed that nobody will relish playing them.  For Lampard, a future on the periphery beckons and if Chelsea are going to truly evolve under their new young manager, several others will soon join him.

4. Fergies decision not to buy a midfielder has been badly exposed.
As with any situation, nothing is quite as simple as pinning all the blame on one reason, but of all the questionable calls Fergie has made over the past decade the decision not to re-enforce the one gaping hole in the squad over the past three seasons is genuinely mystifying.  Utd are kicking, wailing and screaming for a centre mid anywhere near the levels of Keane and Scholes in their pomp.  Michael Carrick and Fletcher have done a job and there’s no denying the long term potential of Cleverly and Anderson, but none of that excuses the continued overlooking of this area while Ferguson stockpiles strikers and wingers.  Ferguson himself now seems completely at a loss what to do with the position given he’s played both Phil Jones and Wayne Rooney there this season along with a staggering 12 other players.  United have been appalling since the Arsenal game, coasting on the result for several weeks before being brought down to earth by City and since finding it impossible to score.  They now find themselves out of the Champions League, without their best defender and relying on a youngster who’s played six times for them to save their midfield.  Fergie has been down before and come back stronger, but you suspect the transition may have to be sped up a bit if Utd aren’t going to lose more ground rather than regain it over the next few seasons.  And whilst we’re here, let it be said again that Jonny Evans would not get in the Wigan team, he is that bad. 

5. Manchester owe it to their fans to take the Europa League seriously.
City’s case here is less clear cut given their relatively new entry into the elite (although you wouldn’t know it talking to Gordan Strachan, who last night claimed they were “a much bigger club than Napoli”).  They are leading the league, in the semi’s of the Carling Cup and are favourites to win two trophies at least this season.  However, the Europa League has just hit the jackpot with one of the biggest (Utd - history, global fanbase, european pedigree, recent trophies that’s what it means Gordan) and the richest (City – that’s right - richest Gordan... not biggest) clubs entering the draw for the next round of fixtures.  City could well win it and that would still represent a major achievement.  Utd on the other hand, owe it to all their supporters to go on and try and win the thing to erase the memory of that group effort.  The two clubs will be rightly amongst the favourites to now win it but only if they take it seriously.  And frankly why not? They have the squads to make a fist of it and neither of them are truly likely to suffer such a lack of domestic form they’ll finish 5^th.  Plus one of them is going out of the FA Cup at the first hurdle to boot.  For either team to play a Harry Redknapp inspired bunch of kids in the next round would be a genuine disgrace and an insult to everyone who pays money to watch and support the clubs.  

5 Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Fourteen

1. Yakubu still has it. 
As Everton continue to regard the art of scoring as a lost pastime, the man they released in the summer has racked up 10 goals in as many matches for an otherwise inept Blackburn.  Scoring all 4 goals this weekend, Yakubu may not be as quick as he once was, but how David Moyes must be missing the big Nigerian now.  A genuine finisher, Yakubu remains a powerful centre forward who, on his day, can give any defence a hard time.  Saturday was one such a day, and you suspect if Blackburn have any chance of staying up, there will have to be plenty more of them to come...

2. Capello might need to have a word with Alex Mcleish.  
Having taken just a few games to successfully turn Aston Villa into the most boring team ever to play football, the repercussions for England could be significant.  Not so much negative as just completely disinterested, the 9-0-1 formation that Mcleish perfects is leaving Darren Bent both confused and isolated.  Given Rooney is not going to be playing in what looks like a very taxing group (despite what the media may think) - it is likely that Bent is currently first in line to lead England’s attack come June.  At this rate, he will have died of boredom by then and certainly won’t be getting much shooting practice.  Capello could do worse than pick up the phone to the Villa boss and beg him to start playing anything resembling positive football.  If this goes on much longer he could be forced to pick Jermain Defoe.  And nobody wants that.  Not even Defoe himself...

3. The FA Cup just got interesting again...
In dire need of an image change, the FA Cup at least got a massive dose of fortune yesterday with a third round tie which will have Adrian Chiles salivating like the cuddly, portly bear man he really is.  Whilst Chelsea were handed their 1000th consecutive home draw to a rubbish team, Manchester United were paired with their neighbors for a mid-season clash of the titans at the illegally sponsored Etihad Stadium.  Given the recent match up, not to mention the obvious rivalry, it’s likely both managers will select full strength teams and start the 3rd round off with a bang.  Hopefully, it will remind people how good this famous competition once was.  Failing that, I’m sure Balotelli will do something to make it worth tuning in...

4. Ref’s... they’re just not getting better are they. 
In a weekend littered with poor decision making, nowhere was there more of a contrast in how a sending off can change a game than at Newcastle and Spurs.  In the early kick off at the sporting direct dot com stadium or whatever the hell it’s called now, Mike Dean inexplicably opted to show David Luiz a yellow card despite there being no rule in the game existing to do so.  With Demba Ba clean through, Luiz hauled him down in what was a stonewall, all day long red card decision.  If the ref had not deemed it a foul, it would have been the wrong decision but at least could have been explained as a genuine error.  Instead, by giving the free kick for the foul and then deciding for no reason whatsoever to show Luiz a yellow, Mike Dean effectively said “I have no idea what the rules of this game are.”  Elsewhere, Spurs got a big helping hand via the perennially hapless Stuart Attwell, who deemed Gary Cahill’s tangle of legs with Scott Parker to be a professional foul despite it being on the half way line, with a man covering.  It’s hard to know which decision was worse, but both refs should be hung out to dry for calls which there was simply no excuse whatsoever to get wrong.  A three match relegation to the lower leagues, 2 weeks wages and being asked to stand naked whilst Ba and Cahill get to pelt them with rotten fruit ought to do it. 

5. Arsenal are very much back in business. 
Ok so Van Persie still scored, but his fellow team mates had already hit the net three times by then and Arsenal swept aside Wigan with the sort of arrogance and casual disregard not seen in a long time.  4 straight away wins and unbeaten since that reverse by Spurs have seen Wenger’s little pocket dynamo’s stumble their way up the table to 5th and only 2 points off the Champions League spots.  Such a transformation seemed implausible 2 months ago and Wenger deserves credit for steadying the ship and slowly, but surely, getting the confidence back into the side again.  His front 6 are all playing well and the return of Vermalen at the back cannot be underestimated enough.  Put simply, Arsenal’s defence are 50% better when he plays.  Ok so Wigan are essentially a joke, but the Gunners are passing the ball around with real fluency again, not least in a 34 pass movement that resulted in their 3rd goal on Saturday. With some big games to come, including Man City in a fortnight, Arsenal now have genuine reason to look forward to Christmas expecting a cracker... and not another turkey (sorry).