Monday 20 August 2018

Premier League (FPL) Team of the Weak - GW Two


Hamer (4.0 HUD) – I think it’s safe to say that coming up against a City side in full flow can be politely described as a baptism of fire. Hamer wasn’t bad against the Premier League Champions 2017-2020, but he made errors and ultimately conceded six goals.

Bailly & Lindelof (5.5 MUN, 5.0 MUN) – In truth, all of the Man United back line could have gone in here. Luke Shaw did try however, and Young vs Bong was made interesting for any fans of The Wire for what was essentially a D’Angelo v Marlo sub plot of incompetence. Mourinho tried all summer to sign a centre back to replace the two he had… er… already bought… and it was clear to see why here. Bailly played the match like a marionette with his strings severed and Lindelof… well… he’s just a bit shit really isn’t he. He’s almost gone past mockery already. Like the horse who tries but can’t get over the first fence. Just put the fucker down and move on.

Schindler (4.5 HUD) – The worst/most out of their depth of the Huddersfield defenders. I don’t want to hurt him anymore than he probably already is after that lesson.

Mustafi (5.5 ARS) – A genuine sham of a defender, Mustafi was found out again and again by the seemingly baffling concept of players running at him. Arsenal could have Messi, Ronaldo and a 21 year old Pele up front and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference with that back four.

Ward (5.0 BUR) – Played 120 minutes on Thursday and a full 90 here and it showed. Was exposed much of the game and made to pay by a lively Will Hughes treating him like he wasn’t there. The Europa League is great if you have a squad of 25. Not 12.

Jota (6.4 WOL) – Looking like this season’s Darren Huckerby, Jota didn’t just look out of his depth against Everton, he looked genuinely scared. Wolves are a good footballing team, but they are not street smart and at this level they will get found out again and again playing this openly.

Kenedy (5.0 NEW) – One of those absolutely brilliant humdingers of a shit show. Kenedy should have been sent off, didn’t complete a pass until an hour had passed and then missed a penalty to win it at the death. Just awful.

Fred (6.0 MUN) – Looking every inch the 8th choice midfielder for Brazil, one can only assume that Fred was under contractual obligation to play slightly worse than Pogba no matter the circumstances. The new signing showed a full range of poor control, passes out of touch, mistimed tackles and hopeless punts forward to nobody to last a lifetime, let alone one game. Did Jose sign this guy as well? Yes? Oh. As you were.

Wilshire (5.0 WHU) – Beaten at home by Bournemouth and outplayed by a midfield of Surman and Gosling. And you think you should have gone to the World Cup Jack? Off you fuck now. And to think Loftus Cheek can’t buy a game anywhere. Have a word Sir Gareth.

Aubameyang (11.0 ARS) – Two stone wall, Harry Redknapp’s wife, mother and dead nana would all have scored chances and an all round performance of utter excrement. This was a very odd performance generally from Arsenal in which they played completely terrible for 90% of the game and could have scored six goals.

Jackson (11.0 falling to fucking priceless MCI) – I missed the Man City game, so I assume Aguero was benched and did nothing? Right? Right...

Hold on. You fucking what mate?

Happy Hunting

HM

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