Hapless Hammers, hammered... again
It’s safe to say that West Ham have not had the best start to the season. Knocked out of Europe at the first stage, by the same set of part-timers that turned them over last year, they have since won just a single game against Bournemouth. More concerning, is that Watford, West Brom and Southampton - teams not known in the slightest for heavy figures in the “goals for” column have all torn them apart scoring 11 goals en route.
West Ham were appalling against Southampton this afternoon. Like a deer frozen in headlights they looked like a bunch of boys playing their first professional match under the big lights. They were nervous, casual and, most worrying for their manager, they appeared to give up once Saints scoring a deserved second. It’s hard to image Dimitri Payet ever playing this badly in a West Ham shirt, but in truth nobody in claret and blue excelled. They were over-run in midfield, exposed in defence and the performance of Zaza up front must have made their fans pine longingly for the return of Andy Carroll.
West Ham need to get past their over achieving hang over from last season, wake up and start the hard work all over again. The Premier League is a cruel and unforgiving world... and form as bad as this is going to be punished every step of the way.
Wenger reminds his critics of his strengths
20 years, broken largely down by many in to two halves of contrasting fortunes. Say what you like about Wenger (and I have) - but he’s stubborn and he’s still here. The frustrations with his Arsenal team over the past decade haven’t been mediocrity. There are no middle of the road bore jibes to throw at Wenger. He has just time and time again promised to deliver greatness and fallen too easily when the real battles have been there to be won. So on the one hand it was refreshing to say his team cut apart a potential rival early in the season with guile and grace. Arsenal were everything Chelsea weren’t in a breathless first half. Ozil and Sanchez the chief tormentors supported by the increasingly more promising Alex Iwobi and the world’s best right back, Hector Bellerin (not a typo).
But on the other, we have been here before... notably last season when Arsenal tore apart a then unbeaten Manchester United in the first half, before going on do the double over Leicester... and still contrive to not win the title. This was an exhilarating and cathartic result for Arsenal fans... but caution should still be applied. Chelsea are a poor team, I don’t care how good a manage Conte may be. They have bought poorly this summer, with only Kante an improvement on the current first eleven that fluffed their title defence so spectacularly last season. If Arsenal play like that against Pep and his merry band of Sky Blue Champions elect assassins... then I might stand up and take notice.
Lambs were slaughtered all over the country
The 10 games this weekend involved 32 goals and 5 of those matches were one sided slaughters. Before Arsenal and Southampton got stuck into their hapless opponents, Manchester United had reaffirmed the belief that they may have spent enough money to finish second this season by re-legalising fox hunting. Who would possibly have thought that dropping Rooney for players capable of sprinting faster than a wounded tortoise could have resulted in an improved attacking display? What genius let the United manager know that maybe putting somebody who could actually pass the ball behind Paul Pogba might liberate him to produce his best form? Sometimes football really is the most simple of games... and when everybody is screaming the same thing... it’s normally because they are right.
And a word on Liverpool... those little swashbuckling midfielderteers that duck and weave and shoot and press and pass and all look so handsome when they do it. How long can this free-flowing lets share the goals around between everyone little escapade go on for before it comes crashing down in a defensive shambles again? Perhaps we should just enjoy the ride whilst it lasts. Pool have had an utterly preposterous 118 shots so far this season, an average of near 20 a game. So if you’re a Swansea fan heading to the Liberty Stadium next week and think it’s going to get better after being put to the sword by Manchester City... you’re probably shit out of luck.
The 10 games this weekend involved 32 goals and 5 of those matches were one sided slaughters. Before Arsenal and Southampton got stuck into their hapless opponents, Manchester United had reaffirmed the belief that they may have spent enough money to finish second this season by re-legalising fox hunting. Who would possibly have thought that dropping Rooney for players capable of sprinting faster than a wounded tortoise could have resulted in an improved attacking display? What genius let the United manager know that maybe putting somebody who could actually pass the ball behind Paul Pogba might liberate him to produce his best form? Sometimes football really is the most simple of games... and when everybody is screaming the same thing... it’s normally because they are right.
And a word on Liverpool... those little swashbuckling midfielderteers that duck and weave and shoot and press and pass and all look so handsome when they do it. How long can this free-flowing lets share the goals around between everyone little escapade go on for before it comes crashing down in a defensive shambles again? Perhaps we should just enjoy the ride whilst it lasts. Pool have had an utterly preposterous 118 shots so far this season, an average of near 20 a game. So if you’re a Swansea fan heading to the Liberty Stadium next week and think it’s going to get better after being put to the sword by Manchester City... you’re probably shit out of luck.
Burnley need a win
Burnley don’t play until tomorrow night but are one point above the relegation zone and are home to Watford. After that they play Arsenal and Everton at home, and Southampton and Manchester United away. It’s hard to see more than a point or two coming from that run so three against the Hornets would be a nice buffer heading into a tough run. Burnley do have a good record at Turf Moor, even from their last stint in the Premier League. They have conceded just 2 goals in 5 matches there and remain the only team in any competition this season to have stopped Liverpool from scoring. Tom Heaton is a hugely underrated goalkeeper and he will need to be at his very best tomorrow to keep out the leagues top’s striker... Etienne Capoue...
Burnley are a likeable club who have shown unswerving loyalty to their manager during a period where every club bar Arsenal and Stoke have done otherwise. The league would be a better place with them in it. And not, you know... to name a club at random... Sunderland.
Burnley don’t play until tomorrow night but are one point above the relegation zone and are home to Watford. After that they play Arsenal and Everton at home, and Southampton and Manchester United away. It’s hard to see more than a point or two coming from that run so three against the Hornets would be a nice buffer heading into a tough run. Burnley do have a good record at Turf Moor, even from their last stint in the Premier League. They have conceded just 2 goals in 5 matches there and remain the only team in any competition this season to have stopped Liverpool from scoring. Tom Heaton is a hugely underrated goalkeeper and he will need to be at his very best tomorrow to keep out the leagues top’s striker... Etienne Capoue...
Burnley are a likeable club who have shown unswerving loyalty to their manager during a period where every club bar Arsenal and Stoke have done otherwise. The league would be a better place with them in it. And not, you know... to name a club at random... Sunderland.
Hold on a Son Heung-minute
I’ll be honest I’ve got nothing bar the pun...
But seriously though. 4 goals in 3 matches. Keeping Lamela and Eriksen out of the team en route. I mean, this kid isn’t half bad. I know what you’re thinking right? We all thought by this time we’d all be sat here talking about how amazing Moussa Sissoko is?
But seriously though. 4 goals in 3 matches. Keeping Lamela and Eriksen out of the team en route. I mean, this kid isn’t half bad. I know what you’re thinking right? We all thought by this time we’d all be sat here talking about how amazing Moussa Sissoko is?
Who knew right? Who knew.
Football... bloody hell.
Team of the Weak: The dear Christ how much competition was their this week edition
Pickford - The youthful stopper has made a flurry of saves in recent matches, but he was a bystander here as Palace helped themselves to an implausible smash and grab 3-2 comeback. Probably won’t play again.
Elmohamady - Because when you’re playing Liverpool’s midfield maestro’s on song... what you need is a man sent off early.
Reid - It is now impossible to believe that West Ham ever kept a clean sheet in a football match.
Cahill - Hideous error gifted Sanchez the first goal and never recovered after. The inability of him and David Luiz to even come close to defending a 2 on 2 break was an utter embarrassment.
Amat - At this stage any defender associated with my fantasy football team really does need to be given the day off.
Huth - An error ridden horror show from start to finish. The Rashford goal alone should have seen the Leicester defence personally reimburse their fans.
Hazard - I said at the start of the season that Hazard HAS to be firing in order for Chelsea to prosper and after a promising start, their star has faded badly
Albrighton - Was absolutely shocking from start to finish. Couldn’t pass water.
Payet - Couldn’t have played worse if he tried. Which he didn’t for most of the match. Shameful.
Vardy - Complete toilet.
Zaza - Didn’t hold the ball up, didn’t win a header, didn’t play a key pass, got rightfully booked for diving. All in the all the sort of forward display that must have had Oliver Giroud giving him a standing ovation from the sidelines.
Lukaku - In here on genuine merit this time. If there is a more frustrating striker in the league than Lukaku I’m yet to see him. Veers between the unplayable and well... UN-playable with reckless abandon.
Elmohamady - Because when you’re playing Liverpool’s midfield maestro’s on song... what you need is a man sent off early.
Reid - It is now impossible to believe that West Ham ever kept a clean sheet in a football match.
Cahill - Hideous error gifted Sanchez the first goal and never recovered after. The inability of him and David Luiz to even come close to defending a 2 on 2 break was an utter embarrassment.
Amat - At this stage any defender associated with my fantasy football team really does need to be given the day off.
Huth - An error ridden horror show from start to finish. The Rashford goal alone should have seen the Leicester defence personally reimburse their fans.
Hazard - I said at the start of the season that Hazard HAS to be firing in order for Chelsea to prosper and after a promising start, their star has faded badly
Albrighton - Was absolutely shocking from start to finish. Couldn’t pass water.
Payet - Couldn’t have played worse if he tried. Which he didn’t for most of the match. Shameful.
Vardy - Complete toilet.
Zaza - Didn’t hold the ball up, didn’t win a header, didn’t play a key pass, got rightfully booked for diving. All in the all the sort of forward display that must have had Oliver Giroud giving him a standing ovation from the sidelines.
Lukaku - In here on genuine merit this time. If there is a more frustrating striker in the league than Lukaku I’m yet to see him. Veers between the unplayable and well... UN-playable with reckless abandon.
Goodnight.
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