Tuesday 1 September 2015

Five Things We've Learnt From The Premier League So Far

One month in and nobody was expecting Chelsea to have the same number of points as Norwich & Bournemouth, and half as many as Swansea. But that is the reality of things heading into the final hours of deadline day as the Hindu Monkey turns his withering and overdue eyes over the season to date:



1.       The title isn’t won after 4 games, but it can be lost.
When assessing the title chances of the big clubs this summer, few tipped City to return to the summit following an up and down campaign which mixed brilliance with defensive vulnerability.  10 goals scored, none conceded and 4 wins from 4 have changed expectations somewhat. City now look the team to beat and few would deny the signings of Sterling, De Bruyne and Otamendi, all be it for ridiculous, FFP flouting fees, have strengthened the team. The frightening thing for their rivals is that the latter two haven’t even stepped on the pitch yet. City remain reliant on Aguero, despite the new signings, but the one thing that the pace of Sterling has done has freed up more space for both him and the mercurial David Silva to work their magic in. Silva in particular has started the season in the sort of form that treats his omission from the 14/15 team of the year with utter disdain.  A wonderful player to watch, he is the heartbeat of this fabulous, free flowing city team and now has 14 goals and 16 assists in his last 34 games. A truly astonishing return.

Those stats topped even Hazard last year and if Silva has started the season flying, the Belgian certainly hasn’t. Chelsea look to be punch-drunk, hungover and heading for collective retirement all at the same time. A defence that seems to have aged a decade over the summer, are being badly let down by the axis of Matic/Fabregas. Arguably the best two central midfielders last season, both look well short of their best right now. Fabregas cannot get into games and Matic looks a yard off the pace, mistiming tackles that he would have made with casual aplomb six months ago. With 34 games left to go, nobody is being crowned champions yet, but it is a horrifying start by Chelsea who find themselves just 2 points off the bottom of the table, and a full 8 behind City having already lost to them once. With United and Pool flattering to deceive after solid starts, and Arsenal doing their usual pass, pass, pass, feint to shoot, pass, lose the ball trick… neutrals and rival fans alike are left hoping for a slip up from the runaway leaders to stop this turning into yet another Premier League procession rather than an actual contest.


2.       Swansea remain the most under-rated team in the land
Unbeaten and having just swatted aside Manchester United yet again, it is now impossible not to respect the work being done at Swansea City, not just by Gary Monk, but the entire club. Swansea have sold well, bought better and improved each and every season under new, supposedly callow managers. They have taken rough diamonds and polished them (Shelvey), brought players up from the lower leagues (Williams), rescued players from rotation hell and made them first team regulars (Fabianski, Naughton) and consistently bought cheap, talented players on the continent who have come in and hit the ground running (Bony, Michu, Ayew). Already this season Swansea have overpowered Newcastle and Sunderland and Gary Monk has tactically out thought both Louis Van Gaal and Jose Mourinho. They have the most inform striker in the land and have a fixture list that now pits them against five of the bottom ten teams next. In a season where once again it looks like the supposed bigger clubs will struggle, talk of Swansea for Europe really isn’t as fanciful as it seems. Given the way they are run, operate and their success in comparison to net spend on the pitch… every club in the land should aspire to be Swansea City. I can’t pay them a higher compliment.

3.       It still looks pretty grim in the North-East
Any optimism that came with the appointment of Steve McClaren, and the proven quality of new signings Wijnaldum and Thauvin, has been tempered slightly by a truly evil opening set of fixtures and buying a striker who appears even angrier than Diego Costa. Newcastle have two points from their opening four matches and sit bottom of the table, alongside their neighbours Sunderland. Comfortably the worst side in the league so far, Sunderland have conceded 10 goals to date and look like a disorganised rabble managed by a bloke who is now wishing he stuck to his original retirement plan. Sticking to their questionable transfer policy of buying players who represent absolutely no value whatsoever, the Black Cats decided that the key to shoring up their defence was a move for Younis Kaboul. The most error prone defender in the league since Titus Bramble retired. Who Sunderland also signed. Both clubs have enough ability to survive the drop, not to mention two managers who know what they’re doing both in terms of coaching and tactics. As ever though, you sense the key to both teams remain keeping confidence high and the fans on side. Both these sides are impossibly well supported and deserve more than languishing in the nether regions of the table whilst pretenders from the Championship come up and leapfrog them season after season. Will their fans get what they wish for? Probably not, although at least it looks like both teams will offer more value for money from an entertainment factor this time around.

4.       United and Pool underwhelm, but Spurs could be the club to drop out this time around.
Since the departures of Alex Ferguson and Luis Suarez respectively, Liverpool and Manchester United have spent over £500 million on players who have barely improved the squads they both possessed three years ago. When they have improved them (Schneiderlin, Milner) they seem to have done so at the expense of other areas. Both clubs look short of goals, yet have conspired to move on a staggering ten forwards this summer. Liverpool have refused to sign a keeper, any keeper, who is better than Simon Mignolet, whereas United now seem to have 18 of them on their books due to some sort of transfer collapsing curse. Both clubs look weak in central defence, if solid in the middle of the park with a rotating blend of attractive attacking midfielders who look like world beaters one week and lightweight puppets the next. Neither side are going to win the title, and spending £30m plus on Benteke or a French teenager nobody has heard off is going to change that. They remain well supported clubs with cash and a huge global support network, both managed by stubborn, occasional astute managers who think they’re much, much better than what they are. They will likely finish 4th and 5th respectively though, which will keep both sets of fans dreaming of better days to come following another disenchanting season.

However, both at least look equipped enough to maintain their positions in the leagues hierarchy, which is more than can be said right now for Spurs. Having bought 10 players from the Gareth Bale money and then tried to move each and every one of them on, Spurs look to have finally got themselves out of their so close, yet so far, season after season cycle and just accepted that in reality, they’re just a bit shit. They rarely keep clean sheets, remain prone to horrific individual errors and have streamlined their squad to a level whereby one can only assume they will be sending out the youth team in the Europa League. They create nothing without Eriksen, and when he does play most of the chances he sets up are missed. Their best attacking player is currently Nacer Chadli. Who wouldn’t get in the Leicester City team. The fans have slowly but surely begin to turn upon Levy, the chairman who has balanced the books but wielded the axe with dramatic frequency and overseen season after season of mediocrity laced with flashes of genius. Spurs were once the most entertaining club in the land. They’re now the most boring. With the rise of Swansea, Southampton, Palace and the core talent that remains, unpoached at a free from Europe Everton; Spurs fans can forget about finishing anywhere near the top four. On this evidence, they’ll be lucky to be in the top half.

5.       Attacking intent is finally being rewarded
If there is one key area the Premier League has evolved on over the past few years it has been the attacking intent offered up by some of the supposedly lesser teams. It used to be just the big boys who were capable of 7-0 or 5-3 scorelines, but now it seems common place for the likes of Southampton and Leicester to be involved in them as well. West Ham have started the season deciding to treat away games like home games and vice versa. And under Alan Pardew, Crystal Palace have evolved into a free flowing attacking juggernaut with little or no interest in defending.  Even Chelsea can’t seem to eek out 1-0 home wins anymore and with money being poured into superstar forwards, teams are realising that attack is often the best form of defence against the bigger clubs. It has helped make the Premier League what it is. For all its flaws, overblown drama and hideous amount of money, it remains a riotously entertaining league which is impossible to predict from one week to the next.

Trust me, just try managing a fantasy football team in this climate...

Team of the (first four) Weak

Courtois
– Has looked far from the safe pair of hands of last season and has conceded six goals in three games, getting rightfully sent off in one. Indeed, Begovic looked better in one half against Manchester City.
Ivanovic
– The Serbian was always a bit of a sham of a right back who hid his flaws with attacking prowess and boundless energy. Having lost a yard or five of pace, and not having the world’s greatest defensive forward, Willian, ahead of him for the past two matches, he has been badly exposed.
Terry
– Although not as exposed as Terry, who has been hauled off, sent off and watched from the stands as his team have been picked apart and left in tatters after just four games. It’s too early to write Terry off after last season’s heroics, so let’s just call him a c**t and all move on.
Coates
– A defender so bad that even Brendan Rodgers won’t play him. Liverpool’s loss is Sunderland’s er… gain. Or not, as the case may be.
Jenkinson
– Missing from both the away wins, Carl Jenkinson has far conceded six goals at home to Leicester and Bournemouth and got sent off. Looked like the player Arsenal bought, not the one that Sam Allardyce turned him into…
Wanyama
– Looked awful in every game he played, missed the one game Saints looked great in to force a move away. Move fell through. Slow clap.
Fabregas
– Looks slow, tired and a shadow of the player who lit up the league at the start of last season. Chelsea need the real Fabregas back, and fast.
Coutinho
– After a match winning opening strike, Coutinho proceeded to fire off 237 shots without scoring in just 3 hours and then got sent off, feebly. Will now miss the biggest away game of the season.
The entire Arsenal attacking unit
– In 4 matches to date, Arsenal have averaged 68% possession and fired off a simply staggering 83 shots. Staggering because so far a front line of Cazorla, Ozil, Ramsey, Walcott, Chamberlain, Sanchez and Giroud have mustered a single goal between them. Lucky to be even on 7 points, Arsenal and Wenger continue to go season, after season, after tiring season without knowing what a Plan B is if hit them in the face.
Kane
– Harry Kane looked tired in the summer, so following an international tournament and the shortest pre-season in history it’s not a massive surprise that he now looks even more so. More a case of needs a break before flash in the pan comments can be made, but he badly needs some support and some time on the training pitch to get his sharpness back.
Rooney
– A Champions League hat-trick of tap ins against a Bruge team more open than my 6 a side team cannot mask the failings in Wayne Rooney’s game. He has laboured in four matches for United and only succeeds in slowing the entire side down by being unable to run between the lines anymore. Strikers rarely return to greatness when they lose their pace, and Rooney is showing no signs of bucking that trend.

Until October…

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