The Premier League
needs Tim Sherwood, even if it doesn’t need Aston Villa
After losing his opening game to a late penalty, the worm turned in Sherwood’s favour this week as a ludicrously casual Christian Benteke secured all three points for Aston Villa. Villa have been a disgrace to the entertainment of the league for two years and do not deserve a manager like Sherwood to keep them in it. Not because he’s particularly good, but because he cares. There are few things more curious to me then when a goal goes in and managers just sit there, expressionless as if it’s a completely meaningless event. I’m not sure where this trend of non-celebration has come from. Jose Mourinho does it regularly, but with him it’s so obviously an act. You can never be sure if Jose will sit statically in his chair or knee slide onto the pitch. He may be a jumped up, detestable, handsome fox of a man. But he’s pure box office. But why so much glumness when goals go in? Isn’t this what managers are getting paid for… you know, to win football matches? Why can they not show emotion at doing so? Therefore for that reason alone, Sherwood is a welcome breath of fresh air. He celebrates with gusto and passion like a fan sat in the terraces. This is what players want to see. It’s what fans want to see. A manager who gives a shit. Long may it continue.
After losing his opening game to a late penalty, the worm turned in Sherwood’s favour this week as a ludicrously casual Christian Benteke secured all three points for Aston Villa. Villa have been a disgrace to the entertainment of the league for two years and do not deserve a manager like Sherwood to keep them in it. Not because he’s particularly good, but because he cares. There are few things more curious to me then when a goal goes in and managers just sit there, expressionless as if it’s a completely meaningless event. I’m not sure where this trend of non-celebration has come from. Jose Mourinho does it regularly, but with him it’s so obviously an act. You can never be sure if Jose will sit statically in his chair or knee slide onto the pitch. He may be a jumped up, detestable, handsome fox of a man. But he’s pure box office. But why so much glumness when goals go in? Isn’t this what managers are getting paid for… you know, to win football matches? Why can they not show emotion at doing so? Therefore for that reason alone, Sherwood is a welcome breath of fresh air. He celebrates with gusto and passion like a fan sat in the terraces. This is what players want to see. It’s what fans want to see. A manager who gives a shit. Long may it continue.
How much luck does
Louis Van Gaal have left?
Back to back wins following the wobble at Swansea, Manchester United have been outplayed in four games in a row and somehow won three of them. Inexplicably, they have kept a clean sheet in the last two thanks to the continued brilliance of David de Gea, who rest assured, is now a genuine contender for player of the year. Even by the standards of this season though, Wednesday’s victory over Newcastle was lucky. United were second best in everything apart from possession, with the barely believable form of Angel Di Maria now eroded to such a point that he cannot pass a ball six yards. Newcastle had the best of the chances, including two which were guilt edged. United created nothing clear cut and then scored in the final few minutes via one defender falling over, another failing to clear it and then the keeper hacking it straight to Ashley Young. Even then de Gea had to make another wonderful save in injury time because he hadn’t done enough already. Put simply, this surely can’t go on. It feels like an illusion that United are just one point behind Arsenal and remain in 4th. Van Gaal is generating no fluidity from a team who don’t seem to know how to score goals. United get to the opposition box and then just pass it back amongst themselves before somebody has a dip from long range. And that is basically it. Their only goals in the past two months have come from set pieces, distance, penalties or defensive errors. In one game, at home to Burnley, United were so under the kosh during the first half Van Gaal switched to a back seven and played on the counter. At home. To Burnley. With Van Persie, Di Maria, Rooney and Falcao on the pitch. United now play Arsenal, Spurs, Liverpool, Man City and Chelsea in their next six fixtures. A run which will either make this season a hugely successful transitional one, or break it into a ruinous, expensive and failed campaign for which Van Gaal directly should pay the price. So Louis… how’s your luck?
Back to back wins following the wobble at Swansea, Manchester United have been outplayed in four games in a row and somehow won three of them. Inexplicably, they have kept a clean sheet in the last two thanks to the continued brilliance of David de Gea, who rest assured, is now a genuine contender for player of the year. Even by the standards of this season though, Wednesday’s victory over Newcastle was lucky. United were second best in everything apart from possession, with the barely believable form of Angel Di Maria now eroded to such a point that he cannot pass a ball six yards. Newcastle had the best of the chances, including two which were guilt edged. United created nothing clear cut and then scored in the final few minutes via one defender falling over, another failing to clear it and then the keeper hacking it straight to Ashley Young. Even then de Gea had to make another wonderful save in injury time because he hadn’t done enough already. Put simply, this surely can’t go on. It feels like an illusion that United are just one point behind Arsenal and remain in 4th. Van Gaal is generating no fluidity from a team who don’t seem to know how to score goals. United get to the opposition box and then just pass it back amongst themselves before somebody has a dip from long range. And that is basically it. Their only goals in the past two months have come from set pieces, distance, penalties or defensive errors. In one game, at home to Burnley, United were so under the kosh during the first half Van Gaal switched to a back seven and played on the counter. At home. To Burnley. With Van Persie, Di Maria, Rooney and Falcao on the pitch. United now play Arsenal, Spurs, Liverpool, Man City and Chelsea in their next six fixtures. A run which will either make this season a hugely successful transitional one, or break it into a ruinous, expensive and failed campaign for which Van Gaal directly should pay the price. So Louis… how’s your luck?
Where would QPR be
without Charlie Austin?
Already in the Championship is the short answer. QPR have scored just 27 goals this season and Austin has scored 15 of them and made another 4. A ridiculous 68% involvement figure for a team in the relegation zone. Nobody in the team looks capable of scoring a goal apart from Charlie and, right now, he is head and shoulders above any other player at the club. He did everything he could to get a point for his side against Arsenal, single handily driving his team forward and creating half chances from nothing. His goal, a rasping 20 yarder, was rich reward for a performance that didn’t deserve to be on the losing side. That was a rueful smile from Austin when the final whistle went. Perhaps because he knows that even if QPR do go down, he almost certainly won’t be going down with them.
Already in the Championship is the short answer. QPR have scored just 27 goals this season and Austin has scored 15 of them and made another 4. A ridiculous 68% involvement figure for a team in the relegation zone. Nobody in the team looks capable of scoring a goal apart from Charlie and, right now, he is head and shoulders above any other player at the club. He did everything he could to get a point for his side against Arsenal, single handily driving his team forward and creating half chances from nothing. His goal, a rasping 20 yarder, was rich reward for a performance that didn’t deserve to be on the losing side. That was a rueful smile from Austin when the final whistle went. Perhaps because he knows that even if QPR do go down, he almost certainly won’t be going down with them.
Poyet and Bruce bring
the banter that their teams cannot
What impossibly dull teams these two are. They have collectively amassed just 49 goals in 56 matches so far; a strike every 102 minutes. That stat was never in danger of being torn up this week as the only real incident of note came on the touchlines. Poyet in particular is an emotional rollercoaster of a man who must be dying inside as he watches his team’s total inability to play attacking, passing football. Bruce is more reserved, but still a manager who has always tried to buy creative, forward minded players and then watched as they crashed and burned. Both teams strengthened upfront in January and whilst Defoe has done little to justify his club record wages, N’Doye has proved a shrewd signing. The Senegalese striker netted his third strike in as many starts to claim another point for his team and give them hope of mustering a barely respectable mid-table finish. The incident in question was an argument over a player diving, which in itself is boring. Credit for the managers in trying to make it more interesting and deflecting attention away from the pitch, but next time at least let’s get sent to the stand over a reckless leg breaker or a proper melee.
Jose Fonte is the best defender in the league
13 clean sheets in 27 starts, more interceptions than any other defender, in the top 10 for tackles, clearances, headers. I won’t labour this point, but let’s be fair, if you took Chelsea out of the picture, is there any credible contender for this accolade? What’s that? Dejan Lovren? Stop it now…
What impossibly dull teams these two are. They have collectively amassed just 49 goals in 56 matches so far; a strike every 102 minutes. That stat was never in danger of being torn up this week as the only real incident of note came on the touchlines. Poyet in particular is an emotional rollercoaster of a man who must be dying inside as he watches his team’s total inability to play attacking, passing football. Bruce is more reserved, but still a manager who has always tried to buy creative, forward minded players and then watched as they crashed and burned. Both teams strengthened upfront in January and whilst Defoe has done little to justify his club record wages, N’Doye has proved a shrewd signing. The Senegalese striker netted his third strike in as many starts to claim another point for his team and give them hope of mustering a barely respectable mid-table finish. The incident in question was an argument over a player diving, which in itself is boring. Credit for the managers in trying to make it more interesting and deflecting attention away from the pitch, but next time at least let’s get sent to the stand over a reckless leg breaker or a proper melee.
Jose Fonte is the best defender in the league
13 clean sheets in 27 starts, more interceptions than any other defender, in the top 10 for tackles, clearances, headers. I won’t labour this point, but let’s be fair, if you took Chelsea out of the picture, is there any credible contender for this accolade? What’s that? Dejan Lovren? Stop it now…
Team of the mid-weak
Foster – a calamitous match and lucky to only concede two. Three errors in the run up to the penalty and for a keeper for famed his spot kick saves, was completely undone by Benteke for the winner.
Naughton – came back to White Hart Lane and gave Spurs several reminders why they let him go.
Evans – Lucky not to concede a penalty, luckier still not to get sent off, lucky to the point of madness to have kept a clean sheet.
Coleman – Looks shackled by Martinez in new system and has lost the thrust of last season.
Upson – Note to any club looking to stay in the Premier League. Matthew Upson is NOT the answer. Please, please stop buying him. Thanks for listening.
Catermole – 10th booking of the season and subsequently suspended for the 175th time of his career. Must have one of the highest wages per minutes played in the league.
Di Maria – A few weeks ago he looked bruised, now he just looks broken. What in god’s name has happened here?
Lennon – Probably not the answer Martinez. Just a thought. You know. You don’t have to listen to me. But...
Sakho – Did all the hard work and gave Cahill and Terry the run around all game. Then missed chance… after chance… after chance…
Pelle & Lukaku - £38m. 2080 minutes in the Premier League since November. 1 league goal. Charlie Austin cost £4m by the way…
Foster – a calamitous match and lucky to only concede two. Three errors in the run up to the penalty and for a keeper for famed his spot kick saves, was completely undone by Benteke for the winner.
Naughton – came back to White Hart Lane and gave Spurs several reminders why they let him go.
Evans – Lucky not to concede a penalty, luckier still not to get sent off, lucky to the point of madness to have kept a clean sheet.
Coleman – Looks shackled by Martinez in new system and has lost the thrust of last season.
Upson – Note to any club looking to stay in the Premier League. Matthew Upson is NOT the answer. Please, please stop buying him. Thanks for listening.
Catermole – 10th booking of the season and subsequently suspended for the 175th time of his career. Must have one of the highest wages per minutes played in the league.
Di Maria – A few weeks ago he looked bruised, now he just looks broken. What in god’s name has happened here?
Lennon – Probably not the answer Martinez. Just a thought. You know. You don’t have to listen to me. But...
Sakho – Did all the hard work and gave Cahill and Terry the run around all game. Then missed chance… after chance… after chance…
Pelle & Lukaku - £38m. 2080 minutes in the Premier League since November. 1 league goal. Charlie Austin cost £4m by the way…
What you may have
missed
This blog being produced even remotely close to on time. Saints grinding out yet another 1 nil victory. Palace realising the “Pardew factor” is not a long one. Man City just about beating Leicester. At home. And just sitting there in second… not bothered. Ozil missing an open goal from three yards. Giroud continuing to score goals, despite obviously being shit. Theo Walcott being “eased” back into action slower than a snail circumnavigating the globe. Spurs and Swansea enjoying an entertaining attacking ding dong that meant ultimately very little. Stoke winning again and generally annoying everyone. Liverpool now being the most in form team in the league. Philipe Coutinho remembering how good he is at football again. Chelsea playing so average, all of the time, and just winning… 1 or 2 nil… again… it’s… just… so… fucking… boring.
This blog being produced even remotely close to on time. Saints grinding out yet another 1 nil victory. Palace realising the “Pardew factor” is not a long one. Man City just about beating Leicester. At home. And just sitting there in second… not bothered. Ozil missing an open goal from three yards. Giroud continuing to score goals, despite obviously being shit. Theo Walcott being “eased” back into action slower than a snail circumnavigating the globe. Spurs and Swansea enjoying an entertaining attacking ding dong that meant ultimately very little. Stoke winning again and generally annoying everyone. Liverpool now being the most in form team in the league. Philipe Coutinho remembering how good he is at football again. Chelsea playing so average, all of the time, and just winning… 1 or 2 nil… again… it’s… just… so… fucking… boring.
Do you think if we put together a best of the rest team we
could beat Chelsea? Who would we have?
De Gea
Zabaleta Fonte Reid Bertrand
Silva Eriksen Song Sanchez
Kane Aguero
Zabaleta Fonte Reid Bertrand
Silva Eriksen Song Sanchez
Kane Aguero
Nah? Probably not…
Dear god can anyone defend in this league except Chelsea and
Southampton? I mean, I’ve had to put two West Ham players in there!
I need a beer.
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