This week’s blog has been re-financed by Monaco tax laws
and, as such, changes direction once more to bring you a smattering of football
related titbits in an ever more obvious attempt to be cynically entertaining.
So let’s crack on.
How much does it Costa
to win the title?
Around £60m to be precise. For that money, Chelsea secured the two players available who would improve their team, and in particular the style in which Jose plays, more than any others. The season may be only four games old, but barring injury you’d be hard pushed to find an intelligent football fan betting against the following outcomes.
Around £60m to be precise. For that money, Chelsea secured the two players available who would improve their team, and in particular the style in which Jose plays, more than any others. The season may be only four games old, but barring injury you’d be hard pushed to find an intelligent football fan betting against the following outcomes.
Chelsea to win the league.
Costa to finish top scorer.
Fabregas to have the most assists.
Both players to be on the shortlist for footballer of the year.
Costa has scored 7 in 4, Fabregas has assisted 5 of those, with a further 2 to boot. The two of them haven’t so much hit the ground running, but at full pelt chasing down Usain Bolt. Chelsea play Man City next and the early feeling is already that City have to win to have even a glimmer of finishing above this machine come May.
Team of the Weak
Rob Green – Let in the first three shots on target which Man
Utd had, one of which wasn’t even a shot. With Rangers having added to their
keeper roster as one of their 2,385 FFP sponsored summer signings, this is
probably the last we’ve seen of Rob for a while.
Rio Ferdinand – Slating Moyes, Cole and Terry en route. Rio quite literally turned up, thanked the fans… and then let them thank him for 90 minutes. Awful.
Alberto Moreno – Already looks every bit as offensively strong, defensively weak and error prone as every other Liverpool full back for the past decade.
Fabricio Coloccini – A fine defender who’s form is going roughly in the same direction as his manager’s career. Inability to now run faster than 5mph is not ideal.
Santiago Vergini – Exposed by the pace and trickery of Spurs all game. Booked, conceded two goals, has a silly name.
Scott Arfield – Yet another penalty miss for a promoted side desperate to claim 3 points. It’s just not hard boys. You step up… and score. Please go and watch Baines, Lambert or any German bar Ozil for a few hours, come back and try again.
Jason Puncheon – Like many in the most forgettable game of the day. Puncheon missed chances, couldn’t pass the ball well in the final third and got booked needlessly. Plus we’ll always have that penalty to think about…
Lazar Markovic - £20m for a winger who can’t cross. Slow clap.
Mesut Ozil – even in a wildly entertaining game filled with creativity, pace and effort. Mesut Ozil managed to show none of those qualities. The dazzling form he showed two years for Madrid is fast becoming a distant memory.
Mario Balotelli – Notable only for not reacting to being kicked. Balotelli was as forgettable as a meal at KFC. He couldn’t even be bothered to leave you with that slightly sick feeling you sometimes get in your stomach a few hours later.
Connor Wickham – It’s almost as if his form at the end of last season was a complete aberration in an otherwise supremely average career…
Rio Ferdinand – Slating Moyes, Cole and Terry en route. Rio quite literally turned up, thanked the fans… and then let them thank him for 90 minutes. Awful.
Alberto Moreno – Already looks every bit as offensively strong, defensively weak and error prone as every other Liverpool full back for the past decade.
Fabricio Coloccini – A fine defender who’s form is going roughly in the same direction as his manager’s career. Inability to now run faster than 5mph is not ideal.
Santiago Vergini – Exposed by the pace and trickery of Spurs all game. Booked, conceded two goals, has a silly name.
Scott Arfield – Yet another penalty miss for a promoted side desperate to claim 3 points. It’s just not hard boys. You step up… and score. Please go and watch Baines, Lambert or any German bar Ozil for a few hours, come back and try again.
Jason Puncheon – Like many in the most forgettable game of the day. Puncheon missed chances, couldn’t pass the ball well in the final third and got booked needlessly. Plus we’ll always have that penalty to think about…
Lazar Markovic - £20m for a winger who can’t cross. Slow clap.
Mesut Ozil – even in a wildly entertaining game filled with creativity, pace and effort. Mesut Ozil managed to show none of those qualities. The dazzling form he showed two years for Madrid is fast becoming a distant memory.
Mario Balotelli – Notable only for not reacting to being kicked. Balotelli was as forgettable as a meal at KFC. He couldn’t even be bothered to leave you with that slightly sick feeling you sometimes get in your stomach a few hours later.
Connor Wickham – It’s almost as if his form at the end of last season was a complete aberration in an otherwise supremely average career…
Fantasy Football Disaster
of the Week
Anybody still sat there thinking “I’m not going to bring
Costa in…”
Quote of the Week
Rio - “We loved our chips, but Moyes comes in and says we
can’t have chips any more. Moyes had been gone 20 minutes (after his sacking)
and one of the lads says “you know what? We’ve got to get onto Giggsy. We’ve
got to get our fucking chips back.””
Well that’s cleared up that 10 months then…
What you may have missed
Any semblance of sense, point or at least something
associated with the English language spoken by John Motson in his match of the
day commentary. Man Utd reject Tom Cleverley dominating the midfield for Aston
Villa. Man Utd reject Shinji Kagawa dominating the midfield for Borussia
Dortmund. The bookies stopping taking bets on West Brom to be relegated
already. The new look “attacking” Stoke being the lowest scorers in the league.
Newcastle being absolutely terrible yet again. Tadic and Pelle playing much
better than Lallana and Lambert. The Monday night football game being Hull vs
West Ham. It hasn’t happened yet. But let’s be honest here…
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