1. Cricket is miles more exciting than Football.
Or at least it is judging by the return of Premier League Football. 8 games, none of them even approaching decent, let alone the rip snorters sky would have us believe each match has the potential to be. As it was, I was left wishing England had toyed with India a little bit more on the way to becoming the pretty much undisputed best test team in the world. To win in India/Pakistan is the next challenge and a pretty stiff one at that. But this is a team which bat, bowls and fields for each other and oozes quality, guile and workmanship. A proud time to be an English cricket fan.
Or at least it is judging by the return of Premier League Football. 8 games, none of them even approaching decent, let alone the rip snorters sky would have us believe each match has the potential to be. As it was, I was left wishing England had toyed with India a little bit more on the way to becoming the pretty much undisputed best test team in the world. To win in India/Pakistan is the next challenge and a pretty stiff one at that. But this is a team which bat, bowls and fields for each other and oozes quality, guile and workmanship. A proud time to be an English cricket fan.
2. Thank God for Joey Barton.
Joey Barton may be a bigger cock than most of the people who sit in the House of Lords, but if it hadn’t been for him we’d have even less to talk about after a Saturday that gave us around two decent talking points. As it was Barton was initially stamped upon (presumably for being a cock) by Alex Song. Just the sort of act, it has to be said, that Arsenal are regularly guilty of despite “never, ever committing fouls.” Then came the real drama as five acts of scandal took place. Firstly, a blatant dive by Gervinho (who, it has to be said, looked truly dire in his first appearance). Secondly, a needless reaction from Barton to haul him to his feet and harass him. Thirdly, Gervinho’s reaction and girly slap. Fourthly, Barton’s dramatic fall as if he’d been shot by a sniper rifle. And fifthly, Wenger’s now beyond boring yet typical reaction that his player “did nothing wrong.” All in all, a farce that was only added to by Barton “I will never learn, honest” tweeting about it an hour after the match. And why was he playing anyway? I thought he’d been thrown out of the club? Ah Newcastle, the football farce that just keeps giving...
Joey Barton may be a bigger cock than most of the people who sit in the House of Lords, but if it hadn’t been for him we’d have even less to talk about after a Saturday that gave us around two decent talking points. As it was Barton was initially stamped upon (presumably for being a cock) by Alex Song. Just the sort of act, it has to be said, that Arsenal are regularly guilty of despite “never, ever committing fouls.” Then came the real drama as five acts of scandal took place. Firstly, a blatant dive by Gervinho (who, it has to be said, looked truly dire in his first appearance). Secondly, a needless reaction from Barton to haul him to his feet and harass him. Thirdly, Gervinho’s reaction and girly slap. Fourthly, Barton’s dramatic fall as if he’d been shot by a sniper rifle. And fifthly, Wenger’s now beyond boring yet typical reaction that his player “did nothing wrong.” All in all, a farce that was only added to by Barton “I will never learn, honest” tweeting about it an hour after the match. And why was he playing anyway? I thought he’d been thrown out of the club? Ah Newcastle, the football farce that just keeps giving...
3. More time saving, less time styling for De Gea.
It remains far too early to judge a 20 year old keeper on his premier league bow but De Gea compounded his shaky start to English football with a pretty ropey display on Sunday, topped off by allowing Long’s tame shot to fly beneath him. One theory is that he isn’t actually the same person who played for Athletico Madrid. For starters, he appears to be a good three inches smaller than he should be, as if somebody has just sawn off a section of his legs. But perhaps the real reason for his indifferent start is bunking practice to style his frankly ridiculous quiff. The side burns aren’t much cop either and if the youngster wants to be the next Peter Schemical and not the next Massimo Taibi, he may need to trade styling gel for extra shot stopping sessions.
It remains far too early to judge a 20 year old keeper on his premier league bow but De Gea compounded his shaky start to English football with a pretty ropey display on Sunday, topped off by allowing Long’s tame shot to fly beneath him. One theory is that he isn’t actually the same person who played for Athletico Madrid. For starters, he appears to be a good three inches smaller than he should be, as if somebody has just sawn off a section of his legs. But perhaps the real reason for his indifferent start is bunking practice to style his frankly ridiculous quiff. The side burns aren’t much cop either and if the youngster wants to be the next Peter Schemical and not the next Massimo Taibi, he may need to trade styling gel for extra shot stopping sessions.
4. AVB didn’t exactly throw caution to the wind.
Promising a more “fluid, attacking” style to his Chelsea team this season, AVB’s first game saw his players perform exactly like Chelsea did under Ancoletti. Flashes of brilliance, mostly laboured, solid at the back, flattered to deceive, John Terry reffing the game. Granted away to Stoke is never an easy game and Fernando Torres did actually appear to be fit; but none of that forgives the once again inexplicable selection of John “Nobe” Mikel. A man whose performances make about as much sense as that take on his name. After impressing in pre-season, I for one cannot fathom how the energetic and creative figure of Yossi Benoyoun was completely overlooked. Malouda still looks like a player who’s forgotten to play football and as Drogba brooded on the bench, thoughts also turned to the alleged talent of Josh McEachran... who may get a game in 2067 once Frank Lampard has died.
Promising a more “fluid, attacking” style to his Chelsea team this season, AVB’s first game saw his players perform exactly like Chelsea did under Ancoletti. Flashes of brilliance, mostly laboured, solid at the back, flattered to deceive, John Terry reffing the game. Granted away to Stoke is never an easy game and Fernando Torres did actually appear to be fit; but none of that forgives the once again inexplicable selection of John “Nobe” Mikel. A man whose performances make about as much sense as that take on his name. After impressing in pre-season, I for one cannot fathom how the energetic and creative figure of Yossi Benoyoun was completely overlooked. Malouda still looks like a player who’s forgotten to play football and as Drogba brooded on the bench, thoughts also turned to the alleged talent of Josh McEachran... who may get a game in 2067 once Frank Lampard has died.
5. Nobody has any real idea what to make of Blackburn.
Predicted for relegation by many (more out of confusion than anything else) Blackburn far from helped their cause on Saturday by losing at home... to Wolves. Steve Kean remains one of the strangest appointments since the Premiership began. I’m still not convinced he’s anything but a security guard that has been mistaken for somebody who knows the slightest thing about football. Either way, Blackburn look in real trouble despite having the funds to buy their way out of it. They still have a solid enough defensive unit; but any team who start a season with Jason Roberts up front may as well be hoisting a white flag. It could be a tricky few weeks for Kean’s Kentucky Fried Army... he certainly needs to find a secret ingredient fast or his career will be in the deep fat fryer before somebody can even call him chicken. (I’m so, so sorry)
Until next week... and hopefully some proper action.Predicted for relegation by many (more out of confusion than anything else) Blackburn far from helped their cause on Saturday by losing at home... to Wolves. Steve Kean remains one of the strangest appointments since the Premiership began. I’m still not convinced he’s anything but a security guard that has been mistaken for somebody who knows the slightest thing about football. Either way, Blackburn look in real trouble despite having the funds to buy their way out of it. They still have a solid enough defensive unit; but any team who start a season with Jason Roberts up front may as well be hoisting a white flag. It could be a tricky few weeks for Kean’s Kentucky Fried Army... he certainly needs to find a secret ingredient fast or his career will be in the deep fat fryer before somebody can even call him chicken. (I’m so, so sorry)
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