5 Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Week - Week Twenty Nine

1. Scott Dann is key to Blackburn staying up.
For all the goals of Yakubu and Junior Hoilett (the two have scored over half the teams total between them) it is at the back where Blackburn have improved of late. Key to that has been the return from injury of Scott Dann. With Samba disappearing on a boat of money to the Russian leagues, many people thought Steve Kean’s days were even more numbered than they already were. Instead the team has rallied, claiming back to back wins for the first time and kept not one, but two clean sheets. Dann is still young and probably still deserves to be playing at a bigger club. He was imperious for a season with Roger Johnson at Birmingham before injury disrupted their partnership. With his former partner currently benched for his crimes and left to watch helplessly as Wolves give everyone an example at how not to defend, Dann has quietly got back on with his business again. If Blackburn are to stay up, they will need his leadership at the back along with the goals of the Yak to do so. Thankfully for Steve Kean, both men have now given him a genuine chance of that being a reality.

2. Liverpool might not need new players, but a new manager.
When Kenny returned to the Premiership last year it was seen as the return of a hero. One of Liverpool’s greatest every players, already a successful manager who many had thought quit the art too soon. Initially Kenny was jovial, laid back and looked like he had all the credentials to succeed again. Over the months however, that veneer has slowly been peeled away to reveal a man on the edge. A man who has stood behind a racist, who has made terrible transfer decisions, has rotated for rotations sake and looks tactically naive at the highest level. Liverpool sit in 7^th, with no real belief that they will finish any higher and are in danger of being labelled simply “a cup team”. Which is at least better than being say Aston Villa, who are merely labelled “a team.” This week, to add to the numerously mystifying statements that Kenny has come out with over the past year, the former “King” claimed that his new signings “had done fantastically well... if anyone is going to come in they will have to be a hell of player to do better than what they have done.” Really Kenny? I, like many in football who aren’t now completely insane, see it slightly differently. For somebody to be better than Andy Carroll they will have to score around 6 goals... and not cost 35million. For somebody to be better than Stuart Downing they will to create or score a single goal during their first six months with the club. For somebody to be better than Luiz Suarez they will ideally have a better strike conversion rate than 0.000003% and not be banned for a quarter of the season for racially abusing other players. For somebody to be better than Jordan Henderson... they will have to be alive. Winning both cups may be seen as a success to Liverpool fans, but Champions League football and competing seriously for the title has to be the aim of a club of this stature. You can say what you like about Rafa Benetiz, but right now he still looks a much better manager than Daglish and Liverpool could do worse than ask him back for another stab. Especially as they now seem to have money to waste spend.

3. Adel Taarabt isn’t good enough for the top flight.
Last season Adel Taarabt was the man for Queens Park Rangers as they stormed to the League Championship. He scored or created over 30 goals, won the player of the year award and, as captain, looked well set to fulfil his potential. The close season didn’t go brilliantly for him however. Taarabt didn’t so much have his head turned, but try and turn the heads of everyone else with some strange and arrogant statements such as “I know I’m good enough to play for the top 4 in Spain and I know that they want me.” As it was, nobody wanted him and Taarabt started the season poorly, before playing even worse around Christmas and then briefly progressing back up to poor again. Last night Taarabt secured only his second assist of the campaign. He hasn’t scored all season, having had more shots than anyone else in the division with the same number. He has played for 1450 minutes, often as the main creator in his team and has scored or assisted no goals. That is a damning stat for a man who could “walk into the Arsenal team” and a key reason why QPR are where they are in the league. Perhaps last night’s result will spur him on to greater things. But when Jamie Mackie looks twice the player you do you’re in trouble. Michael Brown, Michael Tongue, Darren Huckerby, David Nugent, Ebanks-Blake – there is a long list of top Championship players who just couldn’t cut it higher up the ladder. Taarabt is going to have to do something pretty special next season if his name isn’t going to be joining that list.

4. The Tevez sideshow isn’t going away.
You have to give Manchester City credit, when Chelsea and Jose burst onto the screen, buying everything in sight, winning all the time and generally being bastards they were just so fucking boring about it. City on the other hand, are pure box office. With rapid infighting, wildly inconsistent form, sumptuous attacking play and two strikers with massive personality disorders, City have thrilled us all season in a series of dramatic “what will they do next” scenarios. Yesterday, following on from a first half performance from Balotelli that could be politely described as “casual,” Tevez came on for his first appearance since Munich. Many thought he would never play in a City shirt again, but given nobody else in the world can afford his exorbitant wages, it was always likely that this moment was going to come. Now City need him more than ever. Within 5 minutes he had chased down two balls and won back possession, before supplying the telling assist for Nasri’s wonderful finish. Regardless of whether Tevez drives City on to the title though, this is a team that remains on the edge in every way. Roberto Mancini has the best team and squad in the league by an embarrassing distance and Hansen’s statement that if the managers of the two Manchester clubs changed jobs the gap would be 20 points is pretty damning. The Italian has to get the team back on his side regardless of what happens come May. For my money, for all their entertainment, that should probably mean both Super Mario and Crazy Carlos moving on...

5. Spurs are in real danger of finishing 5^th.
A month is a long time in football and at the start of the last one, Jermaine Defoe was just an inch away from winning the game at Manchester City to take Spurs 2 points off the summit of the Premier League. They would have been unbeaten in 20 games and were playing the best attacking football in the division. As it was, he missed and City went up the other end and bought a penalty. Since then, Spurs have won just twice in eight matches and have been hammered by Arsenal in the process. A 12 point cushion over their North London rivals has been eaten away to them being 1 point behind; a scenario that seemed completely implausible 6 weeks ago. In the current Premier League form table, Liverpool and Spurs occupy 16^th and 17^th with only the current bottom three beneath them. Whatever truth there is in Harry’s head being turned by the England job is now irrelevant. Redknapp has trimmed his squad to the bare bones and then seen injuries disrupt his rhythm. It’s easy to manage a top club when the best XI are all fighting fit, the true skill comes in using all the players in the best way over a season. Sticking Luca Modric on the left wing and Gareth Bale in the number 10 role aren’t the way to do that. A three year old with a dusty subbuteo set could give you that information ‘Arry. The good news for Spurs fans is that 7/8 of their last 9 fixtures look very winnable and they still sit four points ahead of Chelsea, who could implode again at any moment. The bad news? The next game is away to Chelsea this Saturday. Lose that and 5^th isn’t just a possibility, it’s a likelihood. 

5 Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Twenty Eight

1. Relegation could be full of justice this year.
We all have our favourites for relegation, but this year there have been some truly haunting decisions that look set to bite one or two clubs squarely in the backside. Two months ago I’d have pretty much bet everything I had on Blackburn, Bolton & Wigan all getting relegated. Whilst that might still happen, it’s looking increasingly more likely that at least one of Wolves & QPR will join them. Given the likeability of all the managers at the first three clubs, I’m hopeful that both will drop into the Championship and be left to rue the wisdom of sacking their managers when they were in better positions than they are now. If QPR’s decision to sack Warnock was harsh, Wolves sacking of McCarthy, only to employ his inexperienced assistant smacks of genuine madness. Few people will now mourn both being relegated, more so given how far Mark Hughes’ stock in the game has dropped since his time at Manchester City. Elsewhere, much as a part of me really wants Blackburn to stay up solely because of Steve Kean, it’s hard to cheer for a team whose supporters club released this statement following the win at the weekend. “If Steve Kean keeps us up, it will be nothing to do with any good work that he has done. It will solely be down to there being three teams who have been worse than us. We want Kean out. We want Venkys out. We want our club back.” You can have it back chap(s), but ideally in the Championship with Keano moving to take the helm of Spurs...

2. Can Moyes dethrone the King?
A pivotal week beckons for Liverpool and their leader after yet another non-performance from their expensive flops this weekend. Moyes doesn’t have a great record in derby’s but his Everton team are playing as they always seem to do this time of year, full of strength, heart and energy. Lord knows what they’d be capable of if they could just start a season. For Liverpool the chances of getting 4^th are not just disappearing but becoming virtually invisible. Whilst cup success will probably ensure the doubters don’t start harassing King Kenny just yet, he has never been under more pressure since returning. Liverpool just look a spectacularly average team, solid at the back and well organised but lacking any coherency, creativity or guile. Only Enrique can be considered a successful signing since Kenny returned, with Suarez’s reputation now firmly on the rocks following Evragate and a strike conversion rate of 0.03%. With Everton at home and QPR away this is a monster week for Liverpool. Win both and they remain in the hunt for the top six and at least a Europa spot. Win neither and by the time I write this blog next week they could conceivably be 12^th. And that is not a typo...

3. Is it time to start praising Jonny Evans?
I’ve given Evans my fair share of stick in the past, mainly because he looks like a Sunday league player and doesn’t seem able to shut his mouth when he runs. But since Vidic got injured Evans has got better each and every game and has formed a defensive partnership with Rio Ferdinand that is exactly that. In the 20 games he’s started in the Premier League this season Evans has lost just once. That game was against Man City, where he got sent off and Utd utterly collapsed. He has kept 10 clean sheets in that time, which is a pretty amazing record whichever way you look at it. More pleasingly though is the way that Evans has grown in confidence enough to start bringing the ball out of defence and leading the line at set pieces. It’s not uncommon for defenders to take a couple more years to fully mature than attackers and Evans, whilst still a fair distance away from the finished article, is finally starting to look a player. If Utd do win the league, he will almost certainly have been the clubs most consistent defender over the course of the season. He still looks likely to fall over twice a game, but for now he deserves some praise. After all, it’s not his fault he isn’t as good as Gerard Pique...

4. Swansea are no ugly ducklings.
Man City not scoring at Swansea yesterday shouldn’t have been a shock. The Welsh side have lost just two games at home all season and have only conceded in three matches. Rodgers team play lovely passing football but unlike other Premiership newcomers they really know how to defend. They have also been helped by the signing of Michel Vorm, who tends to save the shots that do get through with such regularity that he must be a massive shout for signing of the season. Second syndrome season is the fear for Swansea but for my money, providing they keep hold of Rodgers, they look here to stay. Previous victims of dramatic falls from grace like Hull, Ipswich, Reading & Blackpool all looked like they were punching above their weight, often relying on goals to win matches rather than solid defending. Swansea have played the top 6 at home this season and won 6-5 on aggregate whilst dominating possession. They are organised and resilient as well as pleasing to watch. Brendan Rodgers is a fine manager, warming himself to me yet further this week with his comments about the Chelsea job (“I’m interested in improving my career, not ruining it”). The only negative thing about the club right now is how little recognition some of their English players have been getting. Whilst the likes of Oxlaide-Chamberlain and Cleverly only have to sneeze to get an international cap, surely the likes of Dyer, Sinclair, Graham and the superb Leon Britton deserve at least a mention? No? Maybe people think they’re all Welsh...

5. City are in danger of imploding.
For my money Manchester City haven’t played well for three months. In that time they have limped out of every cup competition, won barely a single away game and have kept just about on track thanks to an imperious home record and a run of kind fixtures. On Sunday they finally lost the lead in the title race, which looked inconceivable as little as a month ago. Utd have had a far, far tougher last six fixtures but have outscored and outfought City over that period to arrive at the summit looking downwards once more. The problem for City has been very simple, they have stopped scoring. Balotelli may be hilariously entertaining off the pitch, but he owes his manager some big performances on it. Dseko seems to have been discarded, Tevez isn’t fit and surely can’t be relied on and Aguero has hit a sticky patch. City need to play their best team and find their early season fluency again before the inevitable infighting comes back to haunt them. Whether Mancini will survive coming 2^nd is a mystery which could probably do with being clarified. Even if they do fail this season City need stability and consistency to go again next year. Getting rid of the Italian makes no sense whatsoever and a statement that he will be there next season regardless would probably help City’s cause. Seeing one of their fans weeping as Swansea scored yesterday says it all about how City are always expected to fail at the final hurdle. Mancini is in an impossible situation whereby even if they win the league they will have done it with all the money in the world against the most average Utd team in recent memory. Still, money can’t buy you Alex Ferguson... and thankfully it didn’t buy them Wayne “one man team” Rooney either.

5 Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Twenty Seven

1. Roman’s Bridge is falling down.
After sacking Carlo Ancelotti last summer, Roman Abramovich turned not to an old, experienced head, but to the young and relatively unproven talent of Andre Villas Boas. It was a big gamble, more so given he paid a £13m release clause to prise him away. The aim? To turn Chelsea back in to the super power they had been, er one year previously, whilst reducing the wage bill and the age of the squad and playing attacking, attractive football. Barely 6 months later and AVB has been axed. Chelsea lie in 5^th place and their Champions League life hangs by a thread; but they remain 3 points shy of a fragile and unpredictable Arsenal and in an FA Cup shorn already of the best two teams. Whether AVB could have rallied will now be yet another of this seasons what if’s, as Roberto Di Matteo, sacked by West Brom around this time last season now finds himself in charge of a team of overpaid veterans gunning for one final stint at glory. Regardless of player power and position (it’s not like they’re 12^th) – it’s hard to see this as anything but another ridiculous decision from the Russian. Why coax such a young manager at such expense, let him talk openly of his “three year plan” and the just get rid of him at the first sign he might not qualify for the Champions League? A feat, it has to be said, that is now harder than ever with the “big four” having been replaced by a “big six… and Newcastle.” It is not Villas Boas’ fault that Fernando Torres is now the worst striker in English football, suffering such a fall from grace that there is now no equal example anywhere in the game for a striker in their peak. It’s not his fault that most of his “star players,” so wonderful under Mourinho, are now six or seven years older than that period and suffering from injuries, age and fatigue. It’s also not his fault that David Luiz is only a marginally better player than Zat Knight… although AVB does have to take some blame for picking him to try and lead his defence week in week out despite a blind man being able to tell him it’s not working. No. The simple fact is that Chelsea are a crumbling empire, lacking the ability to regenerate like Utd, the history and the fanbase of Liverpool, the wealth of Man City or the security and sustainability of Arsenal. Barring another £70-80m spree, it is hard to see how any manager would guide Chelsea to higher than 4^th next season and that is likely to be the case for a good few years. Why not bite the bullet, stick with AVB and the young players he’d brought in and see where you are then? I suppose, because when it actually comes down to it, Roman Abramovich is just a fucking muppet.

2. Spurs need to give up even trying.
Statistically, the most bankable fixture in the Premier League is Man Utd v Spurs. It has now been 25 games since a win for any Spurs team stretching back over 11 years. They have been 2 nil up, 3 nil up even in that time… and lost. They’ve scored perfectly legitimate goals… and seen them not given. They’ve watched their strikers go clean through and been hauled down… and seen yellow cards. They’ve witnessed Utd tumble in the box… and seen instant penalties. Whatever the reason, after another 90 minutes playing the Champions off the park (complete with obligatory harsh decision) before the inevitable breakaway goals come; it’s now best for everybody concerned if Spurs just don’t bother turning up for this fixture anymore. This year, the league even recruited Ferguson’s most hated referee. Martin Atkinson himself, Utd’s nemesis who had given EVERY decision against them for three consecutive seasons at Stamford Bridge. It wasn’t enough. Utd didn’t even try for most of the game. It wasn’t enough. Rooney didn’t break a sweat, playing the second half at walking pace in the centre circle. It still wasn’t enough. Jonny Evans was probably the man of the match. I mean seriously guys, give it up…

3. Pogs are back in fashion.
Does anyone remember Pogs? A sub marbles game of little skill that inexplicably took the 90’s by storm thanks entirely to a brilliant marketing strategy. It didn’t last very long… and it was shit. But some 20 years on Fulham fans are chanting the Pog song (no really) again in honour of the deadline deal that everybody missed. Pavel Pogrebnyak arrived from VfB Stuttgart on a short term deal which saw Bobby Zamora make the move to QPR. All the talk was of Zamora leaving and what he might bring to QPR, but so far it looks like Fulham have secured one of the deals of any January Window by bringing in a player that looks tailor made to survive in the Premiership. Strong, good in the air and with excellent feet, Pogrebnyak has scored five goals in his first three games and Fulham have won every match. His finishing on Sunday was exemplary and he was involved in everything that that the team did. With him, the increasingly superb Dembele and the “not at all on drugs honest” Clint Dempsey, Fulham have three wonderful attacking players that are making Craven Cottage one of the best places to watch football again.

4. The Handball Law... can everybody please learn it.
The only thing more irritating right now than referees giving handballs almost every time a ball grazes an arm in the box, is pundits and commentators thinking it’s the correct decision. Last night new lows were reached as Shearer, Dixon and Murray stated that the wording of the law clearly used the term “deliberate,” only to then argue that penalties should be given anyway when a ball hits an out stretched arm in the box. Just because referees keep getting it wrong doesn’t make it right. If a player belts a ball into the box and it deflects off somebody’s arm it’s NOT a penalty. If somebody miss controls it and it bobbles up onto the arm it’s NOT a penalty. If Luiz Suarez dives on the line and palms it away with his hand... it’s a fucking penalty. The situation is now getting increasingly more stupid with no consistency in the decision making and no amendment being made to the law itself. Despite what Alan Shearer thinks, the law doesn’t need to be amended; it just needs to be adhered to. It would help referees if pundits and managers stopped crying bloody murder the second the ball hits an arm. There are far too many “grey” areas in football at the moment and this, along with the continued non punishment for play acting, is right up there amongst the more infuriating.

5. The FA could really have handled this better…
Following the debacle of the John Terry/Fabio Capello situation, the FA have done nothing to reassure the nation that they have any idea what they’re doing when it comes to planning the long, or short term future of the national football side. Literally… they have done nothing. With a country clamouring for Del Boy Harry Redknapp to take the reins, they have not contacted him or anybody else about the position before feebly announcing they would maybe, if they have the time, take a look at it come season end. Apart from leaving whoever comes in precisely no time to plan a squad or adequate coaching set up, the question has to be asked why that statement wasn’t made as soon as Capello left? At least then Redknapp and other managers could just get on with their jobs without being contacted by the media every five minutes about what they think of it all. Because of this mess we had to witness the beyond haunting spectacle of Alan “anti-christ” Pardew coming out and saying he “didn’t want the job” like THERE WAS A FUCKING CHANCE OF HIM ACTUALLY FUCKING GETTING IT! Unforgivable FA. Just give it to Harry now so we can get this fucking latest experiment out of the way and finally move onto someone who might build a legacy for our national team after the tax dodger has failed. As it is, I for one won’t be watching as “Lamps,” “Stevie G,” Rio and fucking Scholesy’s knackered legs get ran ragged by teams infinitely better organised and talented than ours come June…

5 Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Twenty Six

1. The wrong team won at Wembley.
The simple stats may point to one club battering the other, but the reality was that a considerably lesser team went toe to toe with Liverpool’s expensively assembled pool of mediocrity and out fought them for 120 minutes. Cardiff showed heart, skill and energy. The majority of Liverpool’s team had turned up simply expecting to win. Already the worst shooters in the league, Pool’s £110m front five, plus Gerrard, mustered up a preposterous 45 shots on goal and well over 100 corners. It took a defender to get them back into the game and the oncoming Dirk Kuyt to finally get them over the finish line. Suarez and Carroll were bad beyond all belief, the first barely trying and sulking for the majority of the match and the latter just unable to head the ball anywhere near the goal. Neither player took part in what tried to pass as a penalty shoot out, a damning statement upon £60m of attacking talent. Liverpool, of course, eventually did win the match and claim a trophy that still looks beyond Arsene Wenger; they may even win the FA Cup given the teams that have gone out. But even if they did, the cold hard facts are that Kenny Daglish’s Liverpool team are supremely average. They remain the least likely of the Chelsea/Arsenal trio to claim 4^th spot and unless they start scoring goals and fast, they will once again contemplate a season without major European football. That may be good enough for some teams, but for Liverpool, after all that money spent, it’s not even close.

2. A new adjective is required for Ryan Giggs.
38, 900 appearances and still popping up with match winning performances... each and every year new records tumble, new words need to be invented to describe the ongoing brilliance of Ryan Giggs. The Welshman’s performances, fitness and pace haven’t dipped over the past 5 years, indeed there’s an argument to say he’s improved in that time. Since reinventing himself and changing his game he has added years to his career and is now without a doubt, the greatest player the Premier League has known. His latest trick was to ghost in at the far post after another 90 minutes of excellence and provide Utd with a beyond priceless three points. The most pleasing thing about this latest chapter in the Neverending Story, was the reaction of Giggs following the goal. This wasn’t a calm, seen it all before celebration. There was not a trace of arrogance. No, Giggsy celebrated with the passion of an 18 year old netting his first goal. Punching the air with delight and running to the Utd fans with a fair degree of madness, if his team do win the title this year, this moment will be remembered as much as any. Arise sir...

3. Arsenal owed Arsene Wenger those 30 minutes.
Wenger deserves a longer leash than most managers given his past achievements at Arsenal, but there’s little doubt he has lost his way over the past few years and this season has reached even lower depths. For 30 minutes yesterday though, his Arsenal starlets reminded the world what they could do when they all hit form at once. Van Persie was electric, Rosisky rolled back 8 years, Song snapped and harried and Walcott was pacey and penetrative. They tore into Spurs with such venom that one of the teams of the season was left exposed and all over the place, unable to prevent their rivals coming at them again and again. The result of course, does not change the fact that Arsenal and their manager still look on borrowed time, but if they can now rally and claim 4^th, the players will at least have gone some way to paying back the faith shown by a manager who has given his all to his adopted club.

4. When Peter’s good, he’s very very good.
West Brom have had a strange season and it’s been in part due to the erratic form shown by both Shane Long (who started well and has since faded) and the enigmatic Peter Odemwingie. Last season Odemwingie mixed the surreal and the sublime, being the man of the match one minute, falling over and missing penalties all... the... time... the next. This season has been no different and after an abject start to the campaign he hit form over Christmas netting three in three in some crucial results. He then went missing again and had done next to nothing until a fortnight ago where he scored a hat trick. Adding two more well taken finishes this weekend, Odemwingie is almost unplayable when he’s on song, possessing of quick feet and an assurance of touch that sometimes makes it look like the ball is glued to his feet. He also has a low and powerful shot that regularly makes the keeper work. Of course, none of this is true on days when he turns up and looks like the bastard lovechild of all Bobby Zamora and Emile Heskey’s bad points. When he’s bad he’s bloody awful, but thankfully for West Brom right now, he’s very good indeed.

5. Can Connor really keep the Wolves at bay?
One of the great managerial farces came to an end this week with Wolves finally appointing Mick McCarthy’s assistant as their new boss after 78 managers had turned down the job. Making a mockery of their decision in the first place, Wolves chairman Steve Morgan has poured embarrassment on the club from the moment he undermined the manager by marching into the dressing room last month. Initially turned down by Alan Curbishley, Wolves then offered the job to Walter Smith, Brian McDermott, Gus Poyet and Neil Warnock, before lying about it all when the managers rejected the chance to join them. Finally deciding that anyone was better than Steve Bruce (who now surely has to return to the lower leagues, or go abroad, before he can get near the Premiership again) – Connor was appointed and was off and running in fine style this weekend. Masterminding a comeback against Newcastle at St James’ is never easy, but if Morgan and his club aren’t going to rue their decision, Connor has much bigger tasks ahead. Only surviving relegation will spare Morgan from the fans ire and this weekend told us nothing we don’t already know. It’s three from five... and all bets are off.

5 Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Twenty Five

1. Kenny Dalglish has let his club down just as much as Luiz Suarez.
The fallout from Saturday’s match has been such that Liverpool felt compelled to release three separate apologies on their day off to try and quell the storm that threatened to engulf their season. Suarez’ actions on the day were indefensible, a childish and offensive gesture that once again told us how petulant and pathetic so many professional footballers are. Suarez’s action though wasn’t just racist, it was indicative of a person who has been made to believe that he is the wronged party here. One man has to take responsibility for the stance of his player and that is Kenny Dalglish. A legend amongst Liverpool and football fans generally, Dalglish has had amble opportunity to stamp this issue out at the source and has failed again and again to do so. His apology yesterday is frankly, too little too late and this whole incident has sullied the reputation of a man so many held in such high regard. Dalglish should have backed his player privately and said in public it was up to the FA to decide and until that happened nothing would change (see AVB’s handling of the John Terry situation). When the mountain of evidence stacked up against Suarez, not to mention the contradictions in his and his teammate’s testimonies, he should have again backed his player privately and released a statement accepting the FA’s verdict. He didn’t. He implied he was going to fight the charge saying it was “unjust”, before changing his mind and accepting it, only to openly criticize it, describe it as “baseless” and maintain his player had been wronged. He then had a chance to heal the wounds caused before the FA cup game, where he could have released a statement to the Liverpool fans asking them to treat Patrice Evra, a clearly innocent man, with respect. He didn’t, they didn’t and he then dropped his biggest bomb of all by describing the systematic booing and persecution of a player for being black as “harmless banter.” When Suarez returned, again he had the chance to draw a line but instead released a subtle statement saying that he was sure Suarez would shake Evra’s hand, again implying that somehow it was Suarez and not Evra who had been wronged here. Finally, in perhaps his lowest moment, all be it in the height of passion, he claimed not to have seen the event on Saturday, before then implying he’d been told they had shaken hands and then ranting about how dare people blame Suarez!? Apologies may be accepted, but Liverpool football club, led by Dalglish, has dragged itself through the mud over the past 3 months and remains a long way away from healing the damaged reputation. That their recent & American owners had to eventually step in to diffuse it all says everything about how out of control the situation has become. Everybody already knew Luiz Suarez was a wanker, but for Dalglish, there will be no faultless character eulogies anymore. Neither person has been fit to represent this great club; and Liverpool FC have a long way to go before they can hold their heads up again.

2. How much longer can Mick keep the Wolves at bay.
You sense that if Mick McCarthy was going to be sacked, it would probably be after a 5-1 home defeat to your local rivals. Fortunately for him, he has a more loyal chairman than most clubs who has not forgotten the good work the Irishman has done on a limited budget over the past few years. I would never call for a manager’s head, I merely ask that Steve Kean be put out of his own misery from time to time, but Wolves are in a real dogfight and are fast heading into the Championship unless McCarthy can get his team playing again. Just two points now separate the not so famous five clubs at the foot of the table and it’s impossible to see any other teams getting involved in the scrap. The worry for Wolves is that their home form is truly risible at present. They’ve conceded more goals at their own ground than anyone and haven’t won in over 2 months. The most disturbing thing for the fans has been the lack of fight, which isn’t something you can normally say about teams managed by Mick McCarthy. Not for the first time this season, Wolves just gave up yesterday once the game seemed beyond them. To do that against your local rivals, who they could have dragged into the relegation fight themselves with a victory, was simply inexcusable. Mick has work to do to get players and fans believing again. Dropping the utterly useless Ebanks-Blake would at least be a start.

3. Re-signing Thierry Henry was worth it.
3 goals in six games have, in itself, made Henry’s return to Arsenal’s colours a worthwhile move by Arsene Wenger. The fact that two of the goals were match winners, with Saturday’s one securing three vital premier league points, have meant his return can now be deemed an unqualified success. Henry may lack the pace or tricks of old, but old habits die young and his movement and technique at the weekend to latch onto a perfectly weighted cross gave Arsenal a massive victory against a very good Sunderland team. With all three of their rivals for 4^th losing, it was the perfect result for Arsene Wenger and the topsy-turvy battle for the final Champions League spot took yet another unexpected twist. Henry now declares himself a fan of the club first and a player the second, but he has not only lifted the mood at the club upon his return but has paid them back in the best possible currency. Whatever happens in Milan on Wednesday he can go back to America proud of his efforts. One only hopes that he may have left behind any sort of a “how to score goals” guide book for Marouane Chamakh to read in his stead...

4. Watching Aston Villa is actually more dull than watching paint dry.
Mildly hungover and clinging to the small belief that maybe, just maybe, Man City might not win... I made a terrible mistake yesterday afternoon by voluntarily watching Aston Villa try and play football.  Alex Mcleish’s teams are never fun to watch, but he has sunk new lows at Villa this season by stifling what little creativity his team did have and relying instead on a 8-1-1 formation which is leaving Darren Bent so lonely he must be getting a complex by now. Villa decided to have a go at City as we ticked into injury time, not so much leaving it late as hardly bothering at all. Happily playing for a nil nil against the best team in the league is one thing, but happily playing for a 1-0 loss at home to them for 30 minutes is something else entirely. Mcleish has a broken squad, discontent fans and is playing the worst football in living memory. His appointment was a mistake from the start and remains a mistake now. Villa are redefining mediocrity with every torturous 90 minutes we are subjected to. I just want them to go away...

5. It’s not a taxing choice, just give it to Harry.
Let’s make it clear, if most people could take their pick from anybody in world football, the belief that the majority would genuinely want Harry Redknapp as the next England manager is surely wide of the mark. But, like him or loathe him, the FA needs a hit to get the country back onside and as a result mainly of the media, people have been whipped up into such a froth of cockney love that not offering Redknapp the job would now been seen as a massive fuck you to the fans. Devoid of any tactical nous whatsoever, not to mention being completely illiterate, ‘Arry at least possesses fine man management skills and has played the British press expertly for years. I don’t go along with the theory that we need a British manager, but accept that right now the country probably needs one to get behind and there are no real candidates out there who can make a better claim to the job than ‘Arry. Anyone expecting him to come in and radically change things though should be very wary. The man has already declared “Stevie G” or “Lamps” as his captain elect and vowed to bring Paul Scholes out of retirement. I guess we’ll have to wait a bit longer for that “reimagining” then as we look forward to the same players failing in the same way come July. The alternative of course is to listen to Ollie Harris and give the job to Rafa Benetiz. But given you’ve all just spilt your morning coffees after reading that, I’ll leave you with that harrowing prospect as you clean up. After all, how much more Pete Tong can it really get...

5 Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Twenty Four

1. Newcastle aren’t going away.
As we head into the final third of the season Newcastle sit deservedly in 5^th place and find themselves playing with more consistency than any of the teams around them. They have defended well all season and could give both Arsenal and Chelsea a lesson in organisation, as well as a guide to defending as a unit. Their midfield has been strong, especially in the centre where even with injuries they have dictated matches. Up front, the signing of the season has just been added to by what looks like a clone of himself. Indeed, there is little evidence that Newcastle will collapse and right now they have to considered a genuine contender for the 4^th Champions League place. Despite a proper, all be it two horse title race and a five way relegation scrap, the battle for 4^th is shaping up to be the most intriguing contest of the season. Not just in who claims it, but what the aftermath will be for at least two of Chelsea, Liverpool & Arsenal. It would be somewhat ironic and heavily amusing, if all three found themselves in that boat. There is little love lost between myself and the delusional and irritable Geordie fans, but truth be told I would love it... love it... if Newcastle finished 4^th.

2. Fortress Bridge is a distant memory.
Jose’s ghost may live on at Stamford Bridge, but the team he left behind are now shadows of their former selves. Chelsea have conceded 19 goals at home and you have to go all the way down the table to QPR in 16^th before you find a worse record. It’s too easy to blame the personal in these situations, Terry, Cole & Luiz have all come in for serious stick already, but the buck must stop with the manager. AVB is a fine attacking coach, deserved of more than the woeful Fernando Torres to spearhead his fluent system, with Mata & Sturridge causing havoc in front of a quick passing centre. Defensively though, he continues to look clueless. His fullbacks bomb on aimlessly and he is currently playing without any real holding player. Both centre backs yesterday often found themselves way too far forward and Luiz continues to look genuinely disinterested in defending altogether. Utd’s third and crucial goal was the definition of schoolboy defending as Chelsea allowed not one, not  two, but three players time and space to pick out first a shot, then a cross and finally a free header. AVB can defend his team to the hilt all he wants in his increasingly deluded post match interviews, but until he can learn how to make his team... actually defend, his tenure at Chelsea still looks fragile.

3. Give the Ox chance to graze before sending him to new pastures.
Oxlaide-Chamberlain had started a grand total of one Premier League game for Arsenal before Fabio “I’m only interested in people who play in the top six” Capello was sniffing around. This Saturday would have done nothing for the poor lad’s prospect of bedding into Premiership life before making his bow at International level. There are the odd freak cases every now and again (Rooney, Gazza, Joe Cole) but by and large I’ve never seen the logic of calling any young player up to the International scene unless they are playing regular club football first. Oxlaide-Chamberlain looks a fine prospect, fearless, pacey and direct... he could well become everything Theo Walcott wishes he was... but please can we give him a season or two to develop properly before throwing him to the Lions of the England National team. After all, right now, that is no place for someone wanting to learn how to play football to be...

4. The sideshow of comedy that is Steve Kean rolls on.
After a good run of away results and performances, Blackburn came down to earth with a crashing bump on Saturday as they were swept aside by an Arsenal side on song. However, decent as Arsenal were, this was very much a case of Blackburn being so, so bad that several of their players would be better served up via the Venkey’s deep fat fryer than on a football pitch. The problem with Steve Kean, as I’ve said all along, is that fundamentally he has no idea what he is doing. Yes Blackburn have had the odd good result, but you suspect that’s more to do with the law of averages rather than any carefully plotted tactical triumph. His recent decision to not select Chris Samba after the transfer window has closed is baffling. He is, after all, their only decent defender. Blackburn may yet escape, such is the ineptitude of at least three other teams around them, but frankly they don’t deserve to. It may be harsh on their fan, but this team needs to be put out of their misery, disbanded in the lower leagues and hopefully not be seen again for a very, very long time.

5. England & Capello have serious problems.
At the risk of poking Sage with a stick, the FA’s blunder over John Terry’s 29^th scandal has now gained enough momentum to seriously derail what little chance England had of not embarrassing themselves in the summer. Capello’s reaction says everything we need to know about his relationship with the FA and indeed why he is personally so ill suited to managing our national team. Saying you disagree is one thing, saying that JT “will always be my captain” is quite another. Seemingly ignoring the continuing evidence that John Terry can’t actually defend these days anyway, Capello has nailed his colours to the mast and essentially admitted that JT will be going to the Euro’s as his unofficial leader. He may as well not even select another captain; such will his leadership be undermined. The England set up has been in disarray since before the last world cup and after a small rescue job during the qualifiers, it has now turned full circle again as another major tournament looms. When Joey Barton starts talking sense, you know you’re in serious trouble. Is there anything to be done? Probably not. All the major parties have dropped a bomb over this situation and nobody has come out looking good. The FA & Capello need to sit down and plan some sort of a united way forward to stop our team sinking even further into international waters. In reality, it’s probably best if we just go, get spanked, get rid of Capello, appoint someone else and start again with a new, younger team and captain (Hart, Richards, Jones, Rooney – whoever). I’ll stop now because I’m depressing myself. It could have been worse though, I could have written about Aston Villa. But frankly nobody deserves that punishment...

5 Things We Learnt From Watching Football This Weekend - Week Twenty Three

1. What is the point of the transfer window?
Initially designed as a way to “help coaches” by ensuring they must work with players rather than just buying new ones, it’s safe to say that after 10 years the January transfer window has achieved almost nothing of any value. The system just doesn’t work, coaches will just tap players up until the window starts if they want to which unsettles both players and clubs. Gary Cahill could and should have been sold in September. He hasn’t helped himself or his club by playing on further and has now moved, somewhat oddly, from the skipper of Bolton to the 4^th choice centre back for Chelsea. Watching Sky & BBC feebly try to drum up excitement on a deadline day that featured Bobby Zamora as the star attraction, the time has surely come for either saying you can only arrange transfers in the close season... or just making it open season again. The former would properly allow players and managers to work together over an entire season, within the 25 man squad limit. Judging them on tactics, motivation and technical ability rather than being able to buy themselves out of trouble. Managers should also held by the same terms, it would be much more interesting if coaches had to stick with their choices until all 38 games had been played rather than just getting rid of them at the first sign of a crisis. Will it happen? Of course not, the transfer window and in particular deadline day has now just become a big marketing device which generates Sky and the Premier League even more money than before. I mean ‘Arry did all he could, but given he’ll be in jail this time next year, it’s probably time to try something new.

2. What has happened to Samir Nasri?
This time last year Nasri was close to untouchable. He was the star player in an Arsenal team gunning for success on all four fronts and had scored 14 times including some memorable and match winning solo efforts. Little wonder then that despite a slight loss of form toward the end of last season, he was coveted by both Manchester clubs this summer before eventually being bought be City. With the view of playing him and Silva as twin creators either side of Aguero and a lone man, Nasri, unlike Silva, just hasn’t kicked on at all. He has been invisible in almost every big game, outshone not just be his fellow first choice attackers but often by the likes of Barry and Milner as well. He doesn’t seem to be able to dribble anymore and his confidence looks very low. One piledriver against the bar this week reminded us what he was capable of, but the stats make pretty terrible reading for a player that City thought they had picked on the “cheap” at £20m. Nasri has 3 goals and 6 assists this season, but of those 9 key contributions, 7 of them took place in his first four games with the club. Since then, Nasri has played over 1000 minutes of football and City have scored 37 goals. Nasri has been directly involved in 2 of them. City may still be top, but they are badly missing Ya Ya Toure and even Balotelli, who can at least create a goal out of nothing which seems well beyond Edin Dzeko right now. They need Nasri to start stepping up, or it could well be Deja Vu yet again for their ex Arsenal starlet.

3. Barcelona might be surrendering their title, but not their status.

The best football team on the planet are not having a great time. They drew again last night, all be it in the cup against a decent Valencia team, but have now already drawn or lost the same number of games as last season and more than the season before. They trail Jose’s ruthless Madrid machine by 7 points and look unlikely to claw that back from the fixtures remaining. Despite that though, they remain the team to which all other teams aspire to and will continue to do so until they are beaten by another on a regular basis. Jose may well triumph in the league, but he has beaten Barcelona just once in 9 games (and that in extra time) and has been soundly beaten in half of those matches. Unless he can match them over two legs in the Champions League and come out on top, his tenure will still be known as someone who achieved success by slipping round the back door. Barcelona are not as strong as they were despite the two excellent new signings. They badly miss an in form David Villa to swap positions with Messi and defensively the cracks are starting to show. On their day however, they are 20% better than any other team, something that has been shown time and time again in the big matches. Even if they lose the title and fail in the Champions League, barring a close season break up of their entire squad, they will still be the team to beat next year. Not even the special one can change that.

4. John Terry is right not to give up his captaincy.

This may be the only time I ever defend John Terry, so as a caveat I should note that I’m not defending the man, but merely the situation. Terry pleaded not guilty to racially abusing Anton Ferdinand this week and the trial is now set, somewhat bizarrely, until after the European Championships. Since then, there have been several calls for Terry to step down and resign from the England set up until he’s cleared his name. In short, why? If he’s innocent, which he clearly believes he is, why on earth should he sacrifice captaining his country at a major tournament. Despite people’s claims that there could be “conflict of interests” in the squad, I just don’t buy that. For starters, Anton Ferdinand does not (and never will) play for England. Rio of course, has been JT’s partner for several years, but if Capello selects him for the final squad based on this year’s performances he wants his head examined. Right now, Danny Simpson is a better defender let alone countless others. Terry should be allowed, like any person, to continue with his life as innocent until proven guilty. If the FA care that much about it creating an issue, why on earth doesn’t somebody release the “evidence” that the case is based on? Surely we can’t be going to bloody trial for a case of one man’s word against the other? Of course, all that said, he shouldn’t be in the England team either on form, let alone our fucking captain. But if Capello has stuck with him this far, he cannot disregard him now. Although obviously if he does... I will openly celebrate it.

5. Andy Carroll. Hell, at least he’s better than Torres.
Two goals and two assists in his last three starts, Carroll is not firing on all cylinders just yet but he is at least starting to show signs of recovery. In fairness to the lad, he has continually been played in the wrong tactics for his strengths to shine. Carroll has never been a loan striker; he is not mobile or quick enough and needs a proper number 10 alongside him to flourish. In recent weeks, Dirk Kuyt has fulfilled that role which Kevin Nolan did so well at Newcastle. Breaking from a deeper position and feeding off the knock downs that Carroll provides. Carroll can hold it up and spin with the best of them but when the ball has gone out wide, too often the service has been dire. Liverpool were wrong to try and offload him this window, it is less so the player than the tactics which haven’t been right. Something that, at least, King Kenny seems to have worked out. The same cannot be said of Fernando Torres. Whilst he would probably benefit from playing the ball over the top more often than Chelsea tend to, he has more than enough skills in his locker to play in a 4-2-3-1 formation and feed off the creativity of Mata and Merillies. He just isn’t doing that. Too often he gets in good positions to look for the pass rather than the shot and bar the odd instinctive moment, his confidence now looks so far gone there is a real worry it will never return. You can’t pay 50m for someone and then watch them not score in 18 games. Torres record over the past 12 months is as bad as any striker currently playing regularly and time is now running out for him to do something... anything at all to arrest that.