Pogba is lost in the
quagmire
Withdrawn early for the second away game in a row, Pogba cut a dejected figure on Tyneside, a ground that Mourinho is still yet to win in his career. Newcastle were better than United in every aspect on Sunday and thoroughly deserved their victory, but the big talking point was once again the £90m midfield who too often flatters to deceive and refuses to dictate matches on a regular basis.
Withdrawn early for the second away game in a row, Pogba cut a dejected figure on Tyneside, a ground that Mourinho is still yet to win in his career. Newcastle were better than United in every aspect on Sunday and thoroughly deserved their victory, but the big talking point was once again the £90m midfield who too often flatters to deceive and refuses to dictate matches on a regular basis.
Pogba is in many ways the anti-Ozil when it comes to bad
games. Whereas the German drifts to the fringes like a fugitive hiding from the
police, Pogba stands tall and proud misplacing passes, failing to protect his
defence, trying silly skills in no man’s land. He is at least not invisible.
But this leads us on to why Pogba continues to have these games with alarming
regularity. He wants to be involved, he wants to lead… but he is both currently
out of form and playing in a position that quite frankly isn’t his own.
Pogba has always been at his best driving from midfield at
the tip of a 4-3-3. He is superb at linking defence to attack quickly,
possessing both short and long passes that can change games when he’s on song.
Too often for United however, he sits in a 4-2-3-1 alongside Matic and watches
aimlessly as United’s complete absence of a genuine number 10 is laid bare for
all to see. Mata, Mkhitaryan, Lingard – nobody has made that role their own
since Rooney’s body got too badly bruised to carry the team from that position.
In short, Pogba has to play that
role, albeit from a deeper position so he still has the space to run into. One of the three forwards behind Lukaku must be sacrificed for Herrera,
Carrick, McTominay or even Fellaini to sit next to Matic and give Pogba the
space to roam.
The argument against? Should not a 90m midfielder have the discipline
and the ability to play in a position only slightly different to the one he
craves? Maybe. But then why spend so much money on one of the best players in
the World only to shackle him. Pogba remains young and inconsistent, but United
need to bite the bullet and build the entire team around him. If not, then what
was the point in bringing him back in the first place?
Benteke drought drags
Palace back in to the danger zone
Christian Benteke is currently average a goal every 900 minutes this season. He remains his club’s only recognised striker and at least is consistently winning penalties… for him not to take. Palace were badly beaten by Everton this weekend. Which is a bit like being Labour and still being beaten in the Polls by this Tory government. A largely collective display of ineptitude saw the Toffees run out winners thanks to the resurgent form of Niasse.
Christian Benteke is currently average a goal every 900 minutes this season. He remains his club’s only recognised striker and at least is consistently winning penalties… for him not to take. Palace were badly beaten by Everton this weekend. Which is a bit like being Labour and still being beaten in the Polls by this Tory government. A largely collective display of ineptitude saw the Toffees run out winners thanks to the resurgent form of Niasse.
How Palace must wish their own target man could regain some
of that spark and finishing touch. Benteke is entering his peak as a
footballer, yet his career has largely been in tail spin ever since Liverpool –
the graveyard of so many promising strikers – bought him three seasons ago. Palace
remain just above the relegation zone with a fixture list that should be filed
under the horror section. They need someone to score their goals if they’re to
stay up. It’s time for Benteke to rise to the challenge.
Fair-weather Cherries
freeze in the North again
Bournemouth do not have a good record away from the South. They have won just twice in the past 14 months in the North – both times against ailing North East giants. They are a maddeningly inconsistent team and Eddie Howe has to accept that if he is to take the credit for the brilliant victories, he must also carry the flak for his failure to motivate or prepare his team for battles north of the Pennines. Bournemouth came up against a Huddersfield team who have conceded more chances and more goals than any in the division in 2018. Bournemouth had two shots in 90 minutes. They looked leggy, unbothered and inept and deserved to lose 12-0.
Bournemouth do not have a good record away from the South. They have won just twice in the past 14 months in the North – both times against ailing North East giants. They are a maddeningly inconsistent team and Eddie Howe has to accept that if he is to take the credit for the brilliant victories, he must also carry the flak for his failure to motivate or prepare his team for battles north of the Pennines. Bournemouth came up against a Huddersfield team who have conceded more chances and more goals than any in the division in 2018. Bournemouth had two shots in 90 minutes. They looked leggy, unbothered and inept and deserved to lose 12-0.
Calum Wilson has never scored a Premier League goal away
from the South East. Never. And his manager wants him to be included in the
World Cup Squad this summer.
In Russia?
No lads. I’d rather take Peter Crouch.
Aguero makes mockery
of Morgan
This weekend Piers Morgan continued his one man quest to make himself out to be the country’s biggest penis. First by claiming that Arsenal would definitely beat Spurs and then by implying that he was off to see the best striker in Europe… and that striker was Aubameyang, not Kane. If the result and subsequent winner by England’s number 10 was not embarrassing enough, a little known Argentinean called Sergio Aguero continued to make his case not just as the great forward of Europe… but of the best striker in the Premier League era.
This weekend Piers Morgan continued his one man quest to make himself out to be the country’s biggest penis. First by claiming that Arsenal would definitely beat Spurs and then by implying that he was off to see the best striker in Europe… and that striker was Aubameyang, not Kane. If the result and subsequent winner by England’s number 10 was not embarrassing enough, a little known Argentinean called Sergio Aguero continued to make his case not just as the great forward of Europe… but of the best striker in the Premier League era.
Aguero already had the best goals per minute ratio of any
Premier League player when the season begun; having plundered 122 top flight
strikes at a rate of one every 108 minutes. This season he has 21 more at a rate
of one every 84 minutes. That’s quicker than Kane, quicker than Salah, quicker
than Messi. Aguero doesn’t have the all round game of some of the true greats
of our era, but he has a genuine case to be the best finisher of our lifetime. He’s
not a goal poacher, although he does score them from a few yards. He can head
the ball, score with both feet and score from inside or outside the box. He is
stone wall, hands down, not open for discussion world class.
Aubameyang isn’t fit to tie his shoe laces.
Aubameyang isn’t fit to tie his shoe laces.
Firmino basks in the
shadow of Salah
Only Kevin De Bruyne continues to challenge Mohammed Salah for the player of the year award, but as Coutinho did previously, the Egyptian continue to take the plaudits whilst the Liverpool number 9 goes quietly about his business. This Monkey has made no secret of his love for Firmino over the past couple of seasons. He is a gloriously unselfish player – his running off the ball to make space for those in behind him is without peer in the modern game. He has 20 goals and 11 assists to his name this season. He is Mr Perpetual Motion on a football pitch. Never still, always moving, always looking for space for either himself or his team mates. The false 9 seems to have died a death a little of late, with the preference back to big, battering ram forwards with quick runners in behind. Firmino continues to be the anti-meta striker of choice. There is nobody in the current game who can play his role better and it is him, not the talismanic Salah, who remains Jurgen Klopp’s most important player.
Only Kevin De Bruyne continues to challenge Mohammed Salah for the player of the year award, but as Coutinho did previously, the Egyptian continue to take the plaudits whilst the Liverpool number 9 goes quietly about his business. This Monkey has made no secret of his love for Firmino over the past couple of seasons. He is a gloriously unselfish player – his running off the ball to make space for those in behind him is without peer in the modern game. He has 20 goals and 11 assists to his name this season. He is Mr Perpetual Motion on a football pitch. Never still, always moving, always looking for space for either himself or his team mates. The false 9 seems to have died a death a little of late, with the preference back to big, battering ram forwards with quick runners in behind. Firmino continues to be the anti-meta striker of choice. There is nobody in the current game who can play his role better and it is him, not the talismanic Salah, who remains Jurgen Klopp’s most important player.
Team of the Weak
Schmeichel – When
Aguero is having one of those days.
Passing the ball straight to him in the box isn’t that good an idea.
Maguire – Has had an excellent season. But this was an absolute schooling for the lad.
Francis – Looked like he’d just stepped off the plane after a stag do in Marbella.
Van Aanholt – A defender who possesses not a single credible defensive art. The anti-meta Moreno.
Smalling – Where is Eric Bailly? Seriously? How much longer do we have to endure Chris Smalling? The twat is even getting booked for diving now.
Hojbjerg – Appeared to be playing off the striker? I’ve made that up surely? That can’t have actually been where he was supposed to play? I mean, you may as well put a dairy cow up there.
Mahrez – Back from living in an airport for 2 weeks. It’s almost as if you shouldn’t have signed that massive new contract…
Elneny – Was to Dembele as a single grain of sand is to the galaxy. Of complete and utter insignificance.
Lingard – Complete and utter excrement.
Wilson – Wouldn’t last a day beyond the Wall.
Aubameyang/Lacazette – I’m not sure the former broke into a run all day. And as for that chance when at the end for the latter? All the composure of Donald Trump when faced with poor TV ratings.
Maguire – Has had an excellent season. But this was an absolute schooling for the lad.
Francis – Looked like he’d just stepped off the plane after a stag do in Marbella.
Van Aanholt – A defender who possesses not a single credible defensive art. The anti-meta Moreno.
Smalling – Where is Eric Bailly? Seriously? How much longer do we have to endure Chris Smalling? The twat is even getting booked for diving now.
Hojbjerg – Appeared to be playing off the striker? I’ve made that up surely? That can’t have actually been where he was supposed to play? I mean, you may as well put a dairy cow up there.
Mahrez – Back from living in an airport for 2 weeks. It’s almost as if you shouldn’t have signed that massive new contract…
Elneny – Was to Dembele as a single grain of sand is to the galaxy. Of complete and utter insignificance.
Lingard – Complete and utter excrement.
Wilson – Wouldn’t last a day beyond the Wall.
Aubameyang/Lacazette – I’m not sure the former broke into a run all day. And as for that chance when at the end for the latter? All the composure of Donald Trump when faced with poor TV ratings.
Happy Hunting