Five Things We've Learnt From The Euro 2012 Knockouts.

1. The tournament peaked early…
After the glut of goals and classics of the group stages it was strange to see just two decent matches in the knockouts, both of which involved Germany. Indeed, before Super Mario stepped up yesterday we had not seen a goal in almost five hours of football. Of course, any run of games involving England does carry that threat, but it was still both a surprise and a shame to see the tournament peak so early. Even more of a shame that only a penalty shootout denied us from a Portugal v Italy final. That would have been an impossible to call match and would have featured, in Pirlo and Joao Mountinho, the two best midfielders the tournament has had to offer. As it is, not to labour this point, we are left with Spain continuing to tiki-taka the crowd to sleep whilst we sit and hope Mario can do something special again. Spain aren’t some evil empire like Chelsea and I certainly don’t believe that it is “good for football” if they don’t win. On the contrary, they are the benchmark all other teams continue to come up short against. Spain have lost just one competitive match since 2006, have conceded not a single knockout tournament goal since 2006 and average 63% possession in tournament matches since 2006. They are the midfield team to beat. And I don’t expect Italy to get close to beating them on Sunday. Indeed, the really scary statistic to consider is that so far Spain haven’t even played their best football. Xavi & Silva look tired, Iniesta guilty of trying too hard and Alonso and Busquets continue to play essentially the same role. Spain’s best player so far has been Jordi Alba. Which is why it took Barcelona about 5 minutes to buy him as soon as this became clear. The bastards…

2. Rooney could do a lot worse than look at Balotelli.
As England limped out of the tournament like a dying animal being slowly put to sleep, one man awoke Monday morning to receive the most flak. Not Ashley Young, not Ashley Cole, not the manager and certainly not England’s Brave John Terry. Wayne Rooney was held accountable by the same press who had lauded him as a saviour two games previously. The same press it has to be said, who if they had done even the most cursory of research, would have discovered that Wazza last played well for his country when he was a teenager. Sure he has given the odd good performance in qualifying since then, but never to the levels of intensity and energy that he performs with week in week out for Manchester Utd. Contrast that to the efforts of Mario Balotelli last night. Balotelli has often made Rooney look like a saint by comparison over the past 2 years; he has sulked, cheated and moaned his way through a good 70% of his matches showing only occasional glimpses of his obvious ability. Last night though he showed us all one thing, that he cared about playing for his country. I don’t ask for miracles, I don’t ask for Rooney to be the best player on the pitch every time he pulls on the shirt… but I do ask to make it look like it matters to him to play for his country. It is time that England don’t pick 10 players plus Wayne Rooney. It is time they pick 11 players based on form, effort and ability. For his country at least, England’s white Pele is continuing to make that nickname one of the greatest insults of our time.

3. Pirlo conducts but the orchestra still has to perform.
The way some people have gone on about Pirlo this tournament you’d think Italy were a one man team. This is a player who, according to Ray Wilkins, “has vision so good it would make the Cyclops jealous” (just think about that for a moment Ray… please… for me). However, Italy have been anything but a one man team so far. The strikers have impressed in their endeavour and talent and Buffon remains as good as anyone in the business. In front of him Italy have selected a different defensive combination in 4 of the 5 games and not conceded a goal from open play in the three that have truly mattered. Their squad has strength, depth and skill, but the main credit has to go to the midfield. The reason that Pirlo has been given such time and space on the ball isn’t just that Roy Hodgson decided not to bother, it’s because the three players around him in Marchisio, De Rossi and Montolivo have guarded him like a quarterback with their tackling, running and movement. The latter of these looks a real player. Montolivo has been pretty much a one club man since joining Fiorentina as a 20 year old 7 years ago. He has been crucial to Italy’s last two victories by dropping into the spaces and feeding the ball back into Pirlo or into the flanks for the strikers to run onto and create more space. Win or lose on Sunday, few would now deny that Prandelli has been the manager of the tournament. He has adjusted his tactics accordingly and successfully with every match Italy have played. If he really can do it one more time against the team of the past 5 years, he will deserve even higher accolades than I can bestow on him.

4. Where does punditry and commentary go next?
This has been a watershed moment for domestic television football coverage. For the first time in history, ITV have delivered better coverage and analysis than the BBC. The reason for that is very simple… they have bothered to try. The network has gained plaudits for its selection of Martinez and Carragher alongside the usual duo of Southgate and Keane and rightly so. The former is intelligent, likeable and has at least twice pointed something out to me that I didn’t already know simply by looking up the result. Carragher on the other hand, has been enjoyable, refreshing and candid. Although his claim, along with many others (not least Pat Nevin) that Italy were “very average” now looks a touch absurd. The BBC on the other hand has continued to follow their tried and tested formula of three grumpy men and a Walkers crisp advertising board. In short, it’s just not working Auntie. The real pain though hasn’t come in the analysis, which you can at least fast forward if you’re forever watching the game on pause like me, but in the commentary box. TV commentary has always treaded a thin line between English pride and xenophobia and this tournament has seen the balance tip completely in favour of the latter. Right from the moment Clive Tyldesley introduced England v France with the words “Agincout, Waterlook, Donetsk” you knew things were not going to change anytime soon. Since then we have been treated with some of the most offensively biased, terrible and simply inaccurate commentary I’ve ever heard. ITV have one terrible commentator, the BBC have at least four. It is their job, for starters, to learn about the players who are taking part. Not just how to pronounce their names, but who they play for and what they do. Martin Keown said three times on Wednesday “I’ve not even heard of his player.” In short, it’s your job to hear of them and at least assimilate some sort of basic knowledge as to how they’ve played. In the same game Keown derired Hugo Almedia for opting to shoot when on the edge of the box and unmarked. “He’s just got to give that to Ronaldo every time, he doesn’t have the technical ability to shoot.” You what Martin? This is a player who has scored 80 times in the past 5 years. A Portuguese league winner and German cup winner? And Martin fucking Keown is telling him he should never be allowed to shoot at goal? The final nail, as ever, comes with the pathetic biased to anyone who has ever played in the Premier League. And not just that, but the questions asked about anyone who doesn’t. Only Barca and Real players are spared this dubious honour. Countless others are spoken of in “he’s got great ability, I don’t know why he’s not in the Premier league” terms. Here’s a thought, instead of comparing everyone else to our wonderfully entertaining but technically deficient league, why doesn’t a commentator say the opposite for a change? How refreshing it would be if watching Italy v Germany anyone had said “wouldn’t it be nice if some English players went over and competed in these leagues?” Maybe, just maybe, an Englishmen would then learn how to pass the fucking football.

5. Never, ever, ever, ever – trust your mates to beat a woman at fantasy football.
That is all.

Five Things We've Learnt From Euro 2012 So Far.

1. Hodgson deserves some praise, even if the players so far don’t.
Having been critical of Hodgson’s squad selection and the mystifying decision to play a 4-4-2 with Ashley Young as a striker, it’s only fair that the gaffer receives some praise for guiding the country’s hopeless band of misfits to top place in the group. England have not set the world alight so far, but Hodgson’s tactics have been spot on when it’s mattered. He has organised the team into something approaching a unit and whilst he can’t cure our chronic lack of ability with the ball (who can) he has improved us tenfold without it. This has been a real team effort from England so far and it is Hodgson that deserves the praise. Only Scott Parker can claim to have played well in all three games, whilst Theo’s cameo against Sweden was an anomaly of excellence rather than the norm. But whilst no England player is still performing anywhere near their club levels, Hodgson has somehow managed to get an extra 20% out of every player in effort, determination and passion. This is the first England team since Euro 2004 who look like they actually know their jobs. The good news this time around is that they’re not being spurred on by one player, but are actually functioning as a unit. The bad news? England have been unusually lucky so far and the fear is that will run out soon. Their group has arguably been the easiest to navigate and the real work starts against a similarly disciplined Italian team on Sunday night. England won’t beat the Germans, so in reality whether this tournament is deemed a success will largely rest on the result of the quarter final. England will need to play better and defend better to prevail. It would also be nice, despite his goal, if just once Wayne Rooney dictated the play for his country with anything like the sort of skill he shows each week for his club. Despite looking happier and more relaxed than ever before, England’s one world class attacking option remains as much as an enigma as the much maligned “Zlatan.” His hair is almost as bad as well. If not as lustrous…

Oh and as for the farcical articles that were written after England stumbled over the line against the worst Swedish team in living memory, I think this says it all…

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/hodgson-convinced-weve-won-euro-2012-2012062031176

2. The hosts with the most will be sorely missed from the party.
Despite the skirmishes, arrests and occasional bursts of pathetic racism, this tournament has delivered on the pitch in every way possible so far. Group A, considered by many to be the damp squib, delivered 6 rip roaring games of passion and drama which somehow saw Russia dumped out of the tournament along with the entertaining co-hosts. Whilst the Ukrainian crowds have been sparser, the atmosphere in all the games being held in Poland has been electric. The country has welcomed Europe into its bosom and delivered easily the best round of group fixtures since Euro 2000. I for one am disappointed that both Poland and Ukraine have to bow out already, but five points between them from 6 games was never going to be enough. Poland can at least consider themselves unlucky, victims of pressure rather than a gap in class. This has been a marvellous spectacle so far, but it is a shame we have been denied a Germany v Poland match that would come with more subtext than a Nabokov collection. If Euro 2012 has told us anything so far, it’s that a 16 team tournament is better in every conceivable way to a 24 or 32 one. This could well be the last great championships of our time, so let’s carry on enjoying it while we can.

3. UEFA & FIFA are worse than a Tory Government.
There’s little denying now that both the main football governing bodies are about as corrupt as an Italian betting ring, but when it comes to handing out adequate punishments for racist abuse, it’s not so much the gross offensiveness that surprises me, but what they possibly hope to achieve from such derisory amounts. You would think they’d jump at the chance to make a quick buck and stream the money through the organisation to top up someone’s bonus. Given fines are no deterrent anyway, what possible argument can be raised to not fine teams and countries a million euro’s every time an offence is committed? At least that would make some sort of twisted sense. Instead, with the chance to make a statement about racism following Bendtner’s absurd fine for showing his pants, UEFA inexplicably fined Croatia less. What possible criteria are the governing body working from? Are the amounts they come up with just randomly fucking generated? Banning fans, docking points, stopping transfers… these are actual deterrents. Christ I’m boring myself going on about it now. Still, just when UEFA needed an escape route, they got it though the 2,437^th incorrect goal line decision. Blatter and co can save some money straight away by stopping the wages of the two goal line “officials” that stand motionless for 90 minutes in every match. I mean seriously what the fuck are they there for? I’ve never seen one blink let alone make a decision. They must be androids? No wait FIFA don't believe in technology...

4. The Dutch were clueless.
Perhaps the Dutch really had been stung by the criticism they received during the World Cup Final 2 years ago. Perhaps their players were just tired. Or perhaps, they were finally exposed for possessing a defence that on paper was as poor as any in their history. There were hints of all of the above in Bert van Marwijk’s clueless tinkering as his team managed to lose ever game in the fabled and now obligatory group of death. What was more damning is that in the last two Holland could have easily been beaten 4 or 5 nil. Shorn of any real leadership, the Dutch were overwhelmed by opposition who seemed to regard playing for their country as more than a trifle inconvenience. Robben was petulant and selfish, likewise Huntelaar when he came on. Van Persie look tired and confused and it was left for Nigel de Jong to often create attacks such was the woeful contributions of the men infront of him. This is the tournament Afellay will come alive said managers. This is the tournament the Dutch can go all the way said the pundits. This lot are well worth a punt at 8/1 said the bookies. They all got it wrong, but none more so than the Dutch coach who by the end wore the worst possible face for a manager. Not of anger, fear or pain… but of genuine confusion.

5. Spain are an anomaly. And they now have to be stopped.
It is now becoming clear that other teams are not going to start trying to copy Spain’s style of play. There will always be the odd manager (Brendan Rodgers) who pops up and insists on playing passing football whatever the circumstances, but for the most part the German team’s model of success is much more open to imitation than Spain’s relentless tiki-taka built around their Barcelona midfield. It is likely that when Xavi, Iniesta et all move aside, so will the style of football that Spain have now mastered over the past 5 years. The problem is that Spain mastered the style 5 years ago, and once you’ve mastered something, there’s nowhere else you can go. The simple fact is that Spain pass the ball better and quicker than any other team in world football. Indeed, you could hand pick XI players who weren’t Spanish from any country in the world and they wouldn’t be better than Spain. Spain would have 70% possession against anybody and everybody because they are that fucking good at passing. It’s not just that, when they do lose the ball they get it back in about twenty seconds. To beat Spain you have to soak, soak, soak, wait for an error and then counter in a heartbeat and hope for the best. Spain could have gone out at any stage against Croatia, just one goal was all their opponents needed, but Spain just calmly kept passing and passing and passing until I wanted to walk on the pitch and stop any of them ever passing a fucking ball again. Spain won’t win a lot of games 5 or 6 nil because they simply don’t care about scoring that much. And it is that final point which is why Spain have become so boring. They have the ability and the skills to be the great entertainers of our time, but they are surrendering that for relentless five a side drudgery. It’s great to see 20 consecutive passes and the ball being walked in the net. But when you’ve seen that almost every goal it does start to get a bit boring. When was the last time Spain scored from a free flowing break? When was the last time somebody rocketed in a 30 yard piledriver? When was the last time they scored with a move that didn’t result in the opposition essentially being bored to death before just falling over and saying “oh go on then you bastards, if you must.” Spain are an exceptional team, but having played 4-6-0 for half of this tournament you fear the next move is only going to be 2-8-0, or even 1-9-0 before their entire strike force immigrate to Portugal to actually get a fucking game.